stronger exterior Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 So I started seeing this guy at the end of January...only a few months after my much anticipated 17 yr marital end. We hit it off instantly...a connection like I've never experienced before. The "honeymoon phase" lasted about 3 weeks. We were inseperable outside of work. I thought I'd found that experience I've heard so much about (when you find it you'll know). Anyway, after those few weeks, he had me completely drawn in, guards down, I was all in and led to believe he was too. Soon after, he began the whole male "pull away" tactic. "I'm not sure I can be what you need" bs. He's expressed concern about the length of time I'd been single and didn't wanna be the rebound guy, understandable. The calls started slowing down, the texts were few and far between.. he started declining dinner invitations, etc. Around Easter we had pretty much split and I decided to step back some, not offer as much of myself or my time, not responding as quickly, etc. After a few days of the initial NC, he texted me "hey, what's up?" I wanted to puke. Where was this a**hole when I was crying my eyes out?? Anyway, I waited until the next morning to reply, told him I was out with friends when he messaged and did he need anything? Nope, just checking in...perhaps he was due for the old ego stroke. Ive seen him twice since mid April, both times letting him overstep my boundaries. Weeks go bye, longest NC was 2.5 weeks and out of the blue again he texts, "hi". I don't answer. Two hours later another "what are your plans tomorrow". I replied "I have plans, sorry..." Here's where he sends the sad face. Grrrrr.. last weekend another random text "I miss hanging out, I think of you often and look forward to spending some time with you soon." Wtf.... Is ignoring him stinging his a$$ a little and he's concerned that I'm not pining over him like before? I have a desire to see him but want to ask what his intentions are with me before I go. If there's any chance to start over, I don't want to be unrealistic and have expectations, or should I just start running now? His main concern was always that things were going too fast (even though I only followed his lead). I'm crushed and confused. Tell me please, does it make sense to face him, call him out for messing with my head and walk away...or should i take it for what it is, that he doesn't miss ME, and maybe he just misses the way I made him feel about himself and just let go? Ahhhh...why so many games?!
Philosoraptor Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 He was honest and in this position I think I'd feel the same way. He didn't just want to be a plug in surrogate for what you had just lost not long before. If you feel like games are being played and you don't want to play them... then don't. I'd ask him directly what his intentions are, no need to skate around it.
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