hayley1357 Posted June 8, 2012 Posted June 8, 2012 In a strange, weird way i wish my ex left me for another girl. Least then I would know he left me for a reason not just that he wanted to pursue a life without me and that he did not want me around as his girlfriend anymore. Im still yet to find out the reason he didnt want to be with me 3 months on. And the reason he claims to still love/miss me not want me out of his life. The weirdest part is he still when we talk about us he still cant say he doesnt want to be with me. Maybe its false hope i dont know, but if there is one thing i have learnt through this whole experience it is to expect the worst. My ex has consistantly done the opposite of what he usually would have done and i understand thats part of him 'doing him'. I have come so far since the break up. Just a month ago i was visiting the doctor and refusing to go to work as to me nothing mattered if i wasnt experiencing my life with him. Two weeks ago I was in a better place than i am now though, mostly due to the fact my ect made substantial contact this past week and wanted to meet me. This has set me back into thinking mode more. I did the STUPID thing of expecting, he needs time to figure this out on his own. Saying 3 months should be enough is naive of me, it takes how long it takes. Wether im still around when he realises we shall have to see, i would like to think so but im not banking on it. If theres one peice of advice I am glad i did not take whilst being on this forum it is the rule of NC. That doesnt mean we were talking all the time. We had limited contact and where civil when we bumped into eachother. Although I did not follow NC i believe that it IS the easiest and most progressive way to get over your ex and live your life for you. I however am stubborn and allways learn the hard way, only having myself to blame when things go wrong. I also believe that me and my ex are not over. We are still eachothers, as in no one else is part of our lifes, we are still more than freinds regardless of the fact we barely see eachother. It's weird, like theres still this connection not letting us go. There is no hate between us, just love. We are both just not ready to get back into a relationship with one another. Not enough time has passed. At the end of the day if it happens it happens if it doesnt then it doesnt, life just has a different plan for me than i intended. I have many things to look forward too, holiday to the USA in 3 weeks and i find out if i got my promotion on monday. My life is really good when i reflect on what I have, where im going its just when I think of what I had it makes it all not make sense. The only thing i can do is give this time. Let it all unfold, have patience. If we are meant to be it will happen regardless, all i can do is not add to the reasons as to why it wont. Just thought id post, dont know someone may find it helpfull! oh and if there is a song that best describes my feelings and situation this precise moment its Beyonce - Broken Hearted Girl (cliche but meaningful) Oh and guys, IT DOES GET BETTER. 1
ladyabstrused Posted June 8, 2012 Posted June 8, 2012 Thanks for sharing, hayley. Happy for you that things are looking up. It sure does get better by the day.
Author hayley1357 Posted June 8, 2012 Author Posted June 8, 2012 The trick is I think not to expect anything! As much as it is still Hurting like hell you just need to carry on. Life gets better and when you look back to where you were you realise. I will allways have hope and can't let go to that. It happens with time I can't go cold turkey and cut it all off! Wish this would still all be over though But in a weird way im glad this has happened! Weird how you feel one way one day and another the next
ladyabstrused Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 I know, right. It's true, not having expectations or such high expectations do help in most situations. But sometimes you can't help and get carried away, wishing some things to be a certain way but then they don't..and the next thing you realise is that you're feeling sad about it. But yeah, gotta keep having hope. It's what that's kept me going for so long as well.
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