Is he genuine or just messing me around?

[amymurphy123]

I'll try to make this as short as possible. So I was seeing this guy back last June, not exclusively. He had just came out of a 2 year relationship and wasn't looking for anything serious, but we never had sex. He's 20 and in college and came down and saw me every weekend. I'm 17 and in high school in a different state. After a couple of months he told me that he didn't want to string me along as he wasn't ready for a relationship right now and that we should just be friends for now. Obviously I thought that that was just a line and dismissed him but a couple of months later he started texting me again and asked me to meet up, we did and he explained how he did actually care about me but its just so complicated with him being away. He casually mentioned about us getting together sometime in the future but I didn't put much pass on it. I saw him again the following two weeks but then he had to go back up to college. It's been continuing like that ever since (seeing him every month or 6weeks) he hasn't been in town much but whenever he does he always texts me to meet up. He says he cares about me and that he does miss me and that he will stop contacting me if I feel it isn't fair on me, but that he doesnt want to do that. he says that it annoys him too that we both like each other but that there's not a lot we can do about it until he finishes college. It makes sense, but I can't help but wonder am I just being naive? And should I question his motives more? I would especially appreciate some male insite here!

[Tiera D]

Never be in a long distance relationship (unless you are in a relationship with him some years b4 he goes long distance) ..Im glad you did not have sex with him rarely does anyone has the selve control like you now days.But still tell him if he is serious about you two ask him if he can wait until he finishes college,because LDR dont work,do not listen to his promises and sweet words,remember those words weight nothing unless he proves it.I think you should remain normal buddies at the moment.

 

Emphasis on the sentence : Not looking anything serious

 

TD

[sweetheart5381]

I'll try to make this as short as possible. So I was seeing this guy back last June, not exclusively. He had just came out of a 2 year relationship and wasn't looking for anything serious, but we never had sex. He's 20 and in college and came down and saw me every weekend. I'm 17 and in high school in a different state. After a couple of months he told me that he didn't want to string me along as he wasn't ready for a relationship right now and that we should just be friends for now. Obviously I thought that that was just a line and dismissed him but a couple of months later he started texting me again and asked me to meet up, we did and he explained how he did actually care about me but its just so complicated with him being away. He casually mentioned about us getting together sometime in the future but I didn't put much pass on it. I saw him again the following two weeks but then he had to go back up to college. It's been continuing like that ever since (seeing him every month or 6weeks) he hasn't been in town much but whenever he does he always texts me to meet up. He says he cares about me and that he does miss me and that he will stop contacting me if I feel it isn't fair on me, but that he doesnt want to do that. he says that it annoys him too that we both like each other but that there's not a lot we can do about it until he finishes college. It makes sense, but I can't help but wonder am I just being naive? And should I question his motives more? I would especially appreciate some male insite here!

 

Circumstances are circumstances, and yes, maybe he really cares and wishes to pursue you romantically... but be wary. If you are feeling used and wonder if he is genuine then there is a reason for you feeling that way... don't discount your feelings.

 

I personally would not test him on his commitment to you, aka, give him an ultimatum and potentially shut him out of your life unless he promises to be your everything, etc, etc. At the same time, respect him for what he has offered and offer the same in return, only if you feel the same.

 

I would play it out carefully and patiently, but don't get caught up in this guy until there is something meaningful.. and really think about if in fact you WANT something meaningful and committed at this point in your life. Think about YOUR needs and wants... you are young!

[amymurphy123]

Never be in a long distance relationship (unless you are in a relationship with him some years b4 he goes long distance) ..Im glad you did not have sex with him rarely does anyone has the selve control like you now days.But still tell him if he is serious about you two ask him if he can wait until he finishes college,because LDR dont work,do not listen to his promises and sweet words,remember those words weight nothing unless he proves it.I think you should remain normal buddies at the moment.

 

Emphasis on the sentence : Not looking anything serious

 

TD

 

We both know that nothing could happen now as we live so far away and it just wouldn't make sense (personally I don't want a relationship with anyone atm). He knows that i will be moving to the same state as him next year when I graduate, and casually brings this up. But a year is a long time and a lot can happen...

[mr-lonely]

as you said yourself just now a year is a long time, what i would do it be friends only but keep you options wide open, you never know i might be thinking about this boy for a full year and Mr Right might be around the corner.

 

Life is short, live it to the full and keep options open

[no_radar]

as above keep your options open, he sounds quite sincere though.

 

Take a chance, your young with a whole life ahead.

[amymurphy123]

Yeah I'll keep my options open, it's just frustrating ha