TheSingleGuy Posted June 7, 2012 Posted June 7, 2012 I've been seeing this girl for about a year now. I really am in love with her. She's really perfect for me in so many ways. That said, I always figured, eventually, she'll get on my nerves and I'll be single again, which has been my plan ever since the divorce 5 years ago. But she never gets on my nerves. Never. I keep waiting for it to happen and it doesn't. The whole time I've ben dating her, I've kept thinking,eventually, we'll be broken up. But it hasn't happened. A huge part of me wants to be single. To be free to get attention from other women and sleep with them if the opportunity arises. To do whatever the f*** I want to do. But honestly, all I want to do is spend time with her. I don't think I'm ready for this, but I also don't think I ever will be. You see, I tend stare just a little too much. If I'm with her, and I catch a hot, sexy girl out of the corner of my eyes, with tan legs and short shorts, I stare. Can't help it. Been "working on this" to no avail. I guess it's a downfall of being a straight guy with no queer tendencies. She notices. She calls me out on it, but in a way that just doesn't get on my nerves at all. But ultimately, I think this will completely blow up in my face at some point. So marriage has kind of been on the radar screen with this girl for a while. Somewhat. Just, with no sense of urgency. So today, my boss tells me I'm being relocated to Atlanta in 6 weeks. Her income is very little, mine's more than enough to support her. I would never trust a girl in a long distance relationship, never. I don't believe in living together outside of marriage. I can't turn the job down. Not an option. My pay is in the 1% range and I may never replace this kind of income if I walk. It seems my employer has put me in a real "**** or get off the pot" situation. I know she'd marry me in a second, just not sure what to do here. Any advice?
Solo34 Posted June 7, 2012 Posted June 7, 2012 I've been seeing this girl for about a year now. I really am in love with her. She's really perfect for me in so many ways. That said, I always figured, eventually, she'll get on my nerves and I'll be single again, which has been my plan ever since the divorce 5 years ago. But she never gets on my nerves. Never. I keep waiting for it to happen and it doesn't. The whole time I've ben dating her, I've kept thinking,eventually, we'll be broken up. But it hasn't happened. A huge part of me wants to be single. To be free to get attention from other women and sleep with them if the opportunity arises. To do whatever the f*** I want to do. But honestly, all I want to do is spend time with her. I don't think I'm ready for this, but I also don't think I ever will be. You see, I tend stare just a little too much. If I'm with her, and I catch a hot, sexy girl out of the corner of my eyes, with tan legs and short shorts, I stare. Can't help it. Been "working on this" to no avail. I guess it's a downfall of being a straight guy with no queer tendencies. She notices. She calls me out on it, but in a way that just doesn't get on my nerves at all. But ultimately, I think this will completely blow up in my face at some point. So marriage has kind of been on the radar screen with this girl for a while. Somewhat. Just, with no sense of urgency. So today, my boss tells me I'm being relocated to Atlanta in 6 weeks. Her income is very little, mine's more than enough to support her. I would never trust a girl in a long distance relationship, never. I don't believe in living together outside of marriage. I can't turn the job down. Not an option. My pay is in the 1% range and I may never replace this kind of income if I walk. It seems my employer has put me in a real "**** or get off the pot" situation. I know she'd marry me in a second, just not sure what to do here. Any advice? Atlanta's got so much hot tail, if you aren't sure about this chick and you "want to be free to nail hot chicks" whenever, then you're going to the right place.
2sure Posted June 7, 2012 Posted June 7, 2012 Leave and see how it goes. If you cannot be happy without her, then you'll know. Be honest with her. 1
Alma Mobley Posted June 7, 2012 Posted June 7, 2012 Sounds like you're not ready to settle down again. Let this one go and start your new life in Atlanta. 1
FitChick Posted June 7, 2012 Posted June 7, 2012 You don't trust HER in a long distance relationship? It sounds like you are the one who can't be trusted. 1
dasein Posted June 16, 2012 Posted June 16, 2012 If you have a rare one with a kind, loving attitude that keeps you coming back, be real careful about letting her go. I know Atlanta and though there are lots of good looking, single women, especially if you like black women, the things that really matter are -very- hard to find there. Women in Atlanta tend to be polarized as either socialites and wannabes or total party girls. Not a whole lot of middle ground in the Big Dirty. If neither of those is your type, bringing her with you may be a good plan. Atlanta is also really spread out and has significant traffic problems. FWIW being single there usually entails TONS of driving all over the place and hassle unless you pick where you live very carefully. You can pick up a nice condo in Atlanta for dirt nothing now, but the question is, could you ever sell it? If you go the condo route, look to midtown as part of your search. It's natural to look at attractive women, don't beat yourself up over that. The difference is have you ever contacted or been very tempted to contact other women while you have been dating your GF? Have you discussed this with her? That would be a starting point. Who knows, maybe -she- wouldn't want to move. I understand you have to reach a partial decision of your own first, but don't automatically assume she is ready to go the distance with you until you involve her in the decision. Good luck and congrats on the promotion.
veggirl Posted June 16, 2012 Posted June 16, 2012 Don't marry someone because of circumstances, just move for your job and see what happens. Long distance can work and if you are committed to her, it will work and she can join you when you are ready to propose. How far is Atlanta from where you currently live? What are her thoughts on all this?
mickleb Posted June 16, 2012 Posted June 16, 2012 I don't believe in living together outside of marriage. Why not? .
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