Think about the future!

[muzik_lvr]

I like to post threads on things that I am thinking through in the midst of my own breakup that are somewhat helpful to me. I try to think outside the box a little bit. Most of us dumpees here are (for good reason) in much pain and turmoil, especially early on in the breakup. However, most of us are focusing only on the hear and now, focusing on the ex and all of their wonderful attributes and what we miss about them. But, I want to throw out the idea that we should think about the future. If what we wish and desire right now were to come true and pan out the way we want it, that means we would get back with our ex and spend the rest of our waking lives with this person. That means spending the next 40-50 years with this person(Lord willing).

 

Think about that for a second. Anyone living that long on this earth is bound to go through many hardships and tribulations (as well as incredible and awesome times). So, take a moment to think about being with this person when…5 years into the marriage, you lose your job and both are now extremely pressed financially. Think about when your 14yr old son is living rebellious and causing your marriage and family heartache and stress. Think about years from now when a loved one of this person passes away, and how this person will have to cope and deal with this loss. Think about if the economy becomes increasingly bad, causing problems and strain on the marriage and family. Think about 15-20 years into the marriage when you or the other has a mid-life crisis and decides that they don't know what they want out of life and begins to doubt everything. Think about when you are in your 50s-60s and have to deal with possibly having no desire whatsoever for this person any longer.

 

Obviously, I nor anyone knows the future and these are all just made up examples. But, my point in it all is to get some of us to think past the here and now, which we are so stuck on, and consider what an actual life with this person will be like, since that is what we are dead set on. We have to realize that a marriage or life-long relationship will not be a bed of roses and certainly will not have all the warm and fuzzies inside that we felt in our short time with this person. Of course marriage is a wonderful thing, and, if worked at and dedicated to, can be a beautiful and satisfying relationship and bond. But, I just think it's important to strive to have a more realistic view of this all, rather than a modern-romanticized view which is all we have in our heads right now having been broken up with. Just take a look at the separation & divorce thread to read about the countless stories of the hardships of marriage. Personally, I want to be with someone who will love me unconditionally and will stick by my side through the thick and thin, no matter what will come our way, as I will do the same to them. If the ex decided to end the short relationship we had now, just imagine what they would have done 10, 15, 20 years from now when it really gets tough. So, to that, it is probably the best that we all are where are now.

Edited June 6, 2012 by muzik_lvr