Alma Mobley Posted June 6, 2012 Posted June 6, 2012 Nah, pretty guaranteed it's garbage. Either way, it's exhausting to dedicate your life is something that is never gonna happen, that you are fundamentally incapable of having. Much easier to just surrender the desire for it. For example, I recognized a few months ago that I am never going to be a successful writer, so I've stopped writing. Yeah, I miss it, but it also means I am no longer beating myself up trying to do something I'm not capable of. That's fine, but writers who want to write write anyway, even if they think it won't be published. Why stop writing now? I don't think my journals are going to be published posthumously with a bunch of accolades, but I write in them anyway. It helps me, gives me a creative process, and yeah, sometimes I write something good in there, from time to time, not often. Were you once focused on being a successful writer?
verhrzn Posted June 6, 2012 Posted June 6, 2012 Why do you have to be successful at something to enjoy it? That makes no sense. I love tennis even though I suck. Not only will I never be a tennis pro, I don't even think I'll ever be good enough to play in a league. But I still play and enjoy it. Most people would have no hobbies or interests if they limited themselves only to things they were awesome at. Eh, I just see it as a waste of time. Doing something that I suck at, is not productive. It makes a lot more sense to put time into an activity I both enjoy AND am good at. Otherwise, I'm just pouring time/effort down a hole. There is a certain tipping point between "sucking" and "enjoying." I highly doubt you'd enjoy tennis if you spent ALL of your time retrieving lost balls, falling and scrapping your knees on the court, serving only into the net, etc. I think dating is a perfect example. Dating, when you're not successful or good at it, SUCKS. It is not enjoyable. Why encourage people to continue doing something that they are not successful at?? It just doesn't make sense.
Snowman219 Posted June 7, 2012 Posted June 7, 2012 Well I think the advice is generally thought of "focus on becoming the right person instead of finding the right person". It forces us to look at ourselves instead of blaming everything on others. Most people won't do that though. I think there is something to working on yourself. There is a time for everything. There is a time to be alone and work on yourself, and there is a time to pursue women. It's not always the right time to pursue women. Good video on the topic... Loneliness, Dating & Rejection - YouTube What if all 10 say yes? Then we have the multi-dating scenario. I think you mean stop once you get 2 or 3 dates? I do agree with you though that when it is our "time" to pursue women that you have to approach it like a job search. Don't get disheartened over a rejection. Keep going. Only one reason would make someone stop blaming others...others not blaming them. Two way street.
Recommended Posts