TheFinalWord Posted June 2, 2012 Posted June 2, 2012 to keep my job or get a promotion. don't know. there isn't a lot special about me except i repel women like nobody else. maybe one will ask me out one day but i don't think so. Well I would say if you don't feel like you are special and have nothing to offer, you should really ask yourself why any woman would think you are special and have something to add to her life. In your "When women say there aren't any guys" thread you limit it to physical looks and charm, but you yourself seem to ignore that there is a lot more to it than that. You have no vision for your life so she isn't going to get any excitement from being part of it.You have nothing special to offer her so she isn't going to gain anything in her life from becoming part of yours. Why exactly do you want a woman? Just to have sex? What benefit would a woman add to your life? A woman should add value to your life. Currently, you have nothing for her to add too. A relationship with a woman would contribute zilch to your life. I don't think you really need one. Answer these questions for yourself: 1) Why do I need a woman in my life? 2) What benefit would she get from being with me? Stop blaming it on looks or charm. That only gets you an initial date at best. Ask the women here. Looks for either sex only go so far. For a LT relationship there has to be some mutual benefit.
ATrainofAngels Posted June 2, 2012 Posted June 2, 2012 (edited) Well I would say if you don't feel like you are special and have nothing to offer, you should really ask yourself why any woman would think you are special and have something to add to her life. It is about looks and charm though. You're making this sound like it's some sort of a business exchange and it's not. There is no "mutual benefit", the mutual benefit is 2 people who enjoy looking at each other, having sex with each other and interacting with each other I know a guy who makes 25-30 grand a year who has literally nothing going for him except for good looks and social skills and he's ALWAYS had very good looking girlfriends What is this "mutual benefit" you're talking about anyways?? Most relationships are about people who enjoy having sex with each other and spending time/interacting with each other All this talk about getting your life together is disgustingly overrated. A loser who doesn't have much going for him except for looks and charm will always date good looking women. I can tell you this from personal experience. I've known guys who were unemployed who dated beautiful babes on the strength of their charm Edited June 2, 2012 by ATrainofAngels
TheFinalWord Posted June 2, 2012 Posted June 2, 2012 It is about looks and charm though. You're making this sound like it's some sort of a business exchange and it's not. There is no "mutual benefit", the mutual benefit is 2 people who enjoy looking at each other, having sex with each other and interacting with each other I know a guy who makes 25-30 grand a year who has literally nothing going for him except for good looks and social skills and he's ALWAYS had very good looking girlfriends What is this "mutual benefit" you're talking about anyways?? Most relationships are about people who enjoy having sex with each other and spending time/interacting with each other All this talk about getting your life together is disgustingly overrated. A loser who doesn't have much going for him except for looks and charm will always date good looking women. I can tell you this from personal experience. I've known guys who were unemployed who dated beautiful females If you're looking for easy sex then yeah, that's true. What kind of relationship are you looking for? Casual sex? Or a genuine relationship with a woman. Business transaction? No, a partnership. That's what a relationship is If you want a relationship that is going to last and think sex and fun is all you have to offer, good luck!
ATrainofAngels Posted June 2, 2012 Posted June 2, 2012 If you're looking for easy sex then yeah, that's true. If you want a relationship that is going to last and think sex and fun is all you have to offer, good luck! If you have strong social skills, women will love to spend time with you The most important thing is social skills 1, looks 2. That's what will make women gravitate to you. Everything after that is just an extra perk that's really not all that important. Looks are maybe 30-40% of it with the rest being personality/social skills/confidence The guy I told you (one of my good friends) who has literally nothing going for him has ALWAYS had good looking girlfriends who loved him to death. All this talk of "vision" and "mutual benefits" is nonsense. Improve your appearance and then improve your social skills to be 100% confident. That's what you need to be successful and again what is this idea of a "partnership"? What do you mean when you talk about "mutual benefits"? These are vague terms that make no sense to me
ThaWholigan Posted June 2, 2012 Posted June 2, 2012 If you have strong social skills, women will love to spend time with you The most important thing is social skills 1, looks 2. That's what will make women gravitate to you. Everything after that is just an extra perk that's really not all that important. Looks are maybe 30-40% of it with the rest being personality/social skills/confidence The guy I told you (one of my good friends) who has literally nothing going for him has ALWAYS had good looking girlfriends who loved him to death. All this talk of "vision" and "mutual benefits" is nonsense. Improve your appearance and then improve your social skills to be 100% confident. That's what you need to be successful and again what is this idea of a "partnership"? What do you mean when you talk about "mutual benefits"? These are vague terms that make no sense to me I wouldn't call it nonsense. It's something that most guys should have in general, not just in regards to having a girlfriend. It's something that some women certainly CAN be attracted to outside of looks and charm. But the point of having vision and all the other stuff FinalWord talked about, is simply that not having a girlfriend won't be this neverending source of pain, because you have a goal, an ambition and a life purpose that outweighs the desperation of not having a girlfriend or getting laid.
ATrainofAngels Posted June 2, 2012 Posted June 2, 2012 because you have a goal, an ambition and a life purpose that outweighs the desperation of not having a girlfriend or getting laid. Good social skills = 100% confident and likable at all times so you would never be desperate or needy in the first place You don't need to cure cancer for that, you need to learn to love yourself from the inside out 1
Author Imajerk17 Posted June 2, 2012 Author Posted June 2, 2012 If you have strong social skills, women will love to spend time with you The most important thing is social skills 1, looks 2. That's what will make women gravitate to you. Everything after that is just an extra perk that's really not all that important. Looks are maybe 30-40% of it with the rest being personality/social skills/confidence The guy I told you (one of my good friends) who has literally nothing going for him has ALWAYS had good looking girlfriends who loved him to death. All this talk of "vision" and "mutual benefits" is nonsense. Improve your appearance and then improve your social skills to be 100% confident. That's what you need to be successful and again what is this idea of a "partnership"? What do you mean when you talk about "mutual benefits"? These are vague terms that make no sense to me I agree with pretty much all of this. I'm glad someone finally came said this outright. Stuff like "work on yourself" or "get your life together" are beautiful thoughts. Someone should write each of them out on small pieces of paper and slip them into fortune cookies. But when it comes to actual success with women? I think it has rather little to do with it. Although I'm not sure if looks are even 30% of it. Maybe 20--25%? It would be tough for me to argue that they matter even less than that.
mesmerized Posted June 2, 2012 Posted June 2, 2012 Honestly, I dunno how a guy can be frustrated unless he is seriously lacking in the looks department. Guys I know even jobless ones can easily get a girl friend...The reason is that most good looking guys just want to play around and use women for sex, so a man who is decent looking and looks for a girlfriend won't really have much competition to get a girl. 1
ATrainofAngels Posted June 2, 2012 Posted June 2, 2012 Although I'm not sure if looks are even 30% of it. Maybe 20--25%? It would be tough for me to argue that they matter even less than that. Depends on who you approach. A good looking girl who works out 5 days a week will put a huge priority on looks. A chubby nerd will not Agreed 100% with everything else you said
Author Imajerk17 Posted June 2, 2012 Author Posted June 2, 2012 I wouldn't call it nonsense. It's something that most guys should have in general, not just in regards to having a girlfriend. It's something that some women certainly CAN be attracted to outside of looks and charm. But the point of having vision and all the other stuff FinalWord talked about, is simply that not having a girlfriend won't be this neverending source of pain, because you have a goal, an ambition and a life purpose that outweighs the desperation of not having a girlfriend or getting laid. Well in actuality you need both. A great career but an inability to attract a woman? You will feel emasculated. A great "vision" you feel passionate about? Wonderful to have, but rather rare. Most of us are just working to make a living doing something we enjoy.
oranged Posted June 2, 2012 Posted June 2, 2012 Honestly, I dunno how a guy can be frustrated unless he is seriously lacking in the looks department. Guys I know even jobless ones can easily get a girl friend...The reason is that most good looking guys just want to play around and use women for sex, so a man who is decent looking and looks for a girlfriend won't really have much competition to get a girl. i can't get a girlfriend for the life of me but i'm not good looking.
ThaWholigan Posted June 2, 2012 Posted June 2, 2012 Well in actuality you need both. A great career but an inability to attract a woman? You will feel emasculated. A great "vision" you feel passionate about? Wonderful to have, but rather rare. Most of us are just working to make a living doing something we enjoy. Of course you need both . That's the whole point. There is an entire spectrum of attributes out there to acquire. With regards to success with women, of course social skills and looks matter. But with regards to looks, that can be flexible. With good fitness, good grooming and good style, one can enhance their looks a lot IMO. Social skills will also impact on your ability to enhance your career or vision etc. Good social skills = 100% confident and likable at all times so you would never be desperate or needy in the first place You don't need to cure cancer for that, you need to learn to love yourself from the inside out I don't disagree with you at all. I agree with pretty much all of this. I'm glad someone finally came said this outright. Stuff like "work on yourself" or "get your life together" are beautiful thoughts. Someone should write each of them out on small pieces of paper and slip them into fortune cookies. But when it comes to actual success with women? I think it has rather little to do with it. Although I'm not sure if looks are even 30% of it. Maybe 20--25%? It would be tough for me to argue that they matter even less than that. I think it has an effect. Probably a little, but it's a start IMO. Working on getting your life together should be the first thing you do if you want a better life. If you just want to attract women, then you can just improve on your looks and how you socialize, but I don't think it should be the only reason you do those things.
Author Imajerk17 Posted June 2, 2012 Author Posted June 2, 2012 Honestly, I dunno how a guy can be frustrated unless he is seriously lacking in the looks department. Guys I know even jobless ones can easily get a girl friend...The reason is that most good looking guys just want to play around and use women for sex, so a man who is decent looking and looks for a girlfriend won't really have much competition to get a girl. You are assuming that attraction works for women as it does for men. For men: a good looking woman = attraction. That is not how women feel attraction for men. It's more about social skills, energy, and so on.
ThaWholigan Posted June 2, 2012 Posted June 2, 2012 Honestly, I dunno how a guy can be frustrated unless he is seriously lacking in the looks department. Guys I know even jobless ones can easily get a girl friend...The reason is that most good looking guys just want to play around and use women for sex, so a man who is decent looking and looks for a girlfriend won't really have much competition to get a girl. It is entirely a confidence issue, the lack of self esteem means we frustrate ourselves.
ATrainofAngels Posted June 2, 2012 Posted June 2, 2012 You are assuming that attraction works for women as it does for men. For men: a good looking woman = attraction. That is not how women feel attraction for men. It's more about social skills, energy, and so on. I agree somewhat. I'm attracted to a girl on looks but I wouldn't date one just for looks. It's 50/50 for me As far as looks go for women. The better looking they are, the higher priority they will place on appearance. It can be high as 50% for really beautiful women and it can be 0% for chubby nerds
Author Imajerk17 Posted June 2, 2012 Author Posted June 2, 2012 Good social skills = 100% confident and likable at all times so you would never be desperate or needy in the first place You don't need to cure cancer for that, you need to learn to love yourself from the inside out You know what? I will even go so far to say that you don't even need to have "inner game" mentioned. There are certainly guys who aren't good-looking, who don't have their lives together who even have their share of emotional problems, who do well with women.
ATrainofAngels Posted June 2, 2012 Posted June 2, 2012 You know what? I will even go so far to say that you don't even need to have "inner game" mentioned. There are certainly guys who aren't good-looking, who don't have their lives together who even have their share of emotional problems, who do well with women. I agree somewhat again. You gotta have inner game or you gotta be able to fake inner game well (as in faking that 100% self confidence/comfort in own skin)
Author Imajerk17 Posted June 2, 2012 Author Posted June 2, 2012 I agree somewhat. I'm attracted to a girl on looks but I wouldn't date one just for looks. It's 50/50 for me As far as looks go for women. The better looking they are, the higher priority they will place on appearance. It can be high as 50% for really beautiful women and it can be 0% for chubby nerds Yeah it's not all about looks for myself either. But I know that I put more of an emphasis on looks than a typical woman does.
ThaWholigan Posted June 2, 2012 Posted June 2, 2012 You know what? I will even go so far to say that you don't even need to have "inner game" mentioned. There are certainly guys who aren't good-looking, who don't have their lives together who even have their share of emotional problems, who do well with women. True, but why would you not want "inner game"?
mesmerized Posted June 2, 2012 Posted June 2, 2012 You are assuming that attraction works for women as it does for men. For men: a good looking woman = attraction. That is not how women feel attraction for men. It's more about social skills, energy, and so on. I'm not assuming anything and I'm a woman, I know what attracts me...The only guys I know who are frustrated lack severely in the looks department. 1
oranged Posted June 2, 2012 Posted June 2, 2012 I agree somewhat again. You gotta have inner game or you gotta be able to fake inner game well (as in faking that 100% self confidence/comfort in own skin) i don't have inner game or any game and when you try to fake game she'll know and ouch she will see a dishonest loser.
SteveC80 Posted June 2, 2012 Posted June 2, 2012 You are assuming that attraction works for women as it does for men. For men: a good looking woman = attraction. That is not how women feel attraction for men. It's more about social skills, energy, and so on. Men and women are not that different with attraction..Women care about looks as muchas Men do..if you're good looking Male or femlae you have a head start to get your foot in the door
ATrainofAngels Posted June 2, 2012 Posted June 2, 2012 Yeah it's not all about looks for myself either. But I know that I put more of an emphasis on looks than a typical woman does. I think me and your average good looking woman are pretty close. She might be around 30-40% while I'm squarely at 50% but that's not a huge difference There's definitely a huge difference between me and your average non attractive woman
Author Imajerk17 Posted June 2, 2012 Author Posted June 2, 2012 I think me and your average good looking woman are pretty close. She might be around 30-40% while I'm squarely at 50% but that's not a huge difference There's definitely a huge difference between me and your average non attractive woman I'd put myself at 60--70%. Guess I'm shallow
ATrainofAngels Posted June 2, 2012 Posted June 2, 2012 I'd put myself at 60--70%. Guess I'm shallow You would date a pretty girl who was boring/had nothing in common with you/didn't know how to act with grace and class in social situations? Sorry man, I'm not on board with you there. Bringing a girl home who acts like a retard to my parents is just as bad as bringing home a fat girl
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