DollWelch Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 I didn't think I would be interested in a younger man. I have always gone for older men. Why? With an older man, I have always felt secure and comfortable -not only that, content because I am able to learn and grow with him due to maturity and intelligence (most of the time). However with a younger man, I feel he isn't mature enough (not at that stage yet) and even moreso I tend to notice a student-teacher relationship due to the age difference. Just makes me feel weird. All that being said, I am interested in a younger man and I don't know what to do about it. He's about 4 years younger than me. I don't know him fully yet, he comes across as a mature and nice man but the age difference bothers me. Almost everytime I talk to him, there is always that thought at the back of my head -and the fact that he may need a few more years of growing up in order to really understand and cherish life the way I do. What are your thoughts?
spiderowl Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 For years I have dismissed younger guys who have asked me out or contacted me online. I felt they were immature, only after one thing, or whatever. I was looking for a guy around my age who knew a bit about life. But I have to say, I've been very disappointed with guys my own age. Many seem sour, lacking in enthusiasm, bitter, and even boring. They are more hard-bitten and scared of taking risks and asking me out, though they will seek out my company and drop hints. The young guys I've been in touch with have fallen into two categories: idiots who think they are into 'mature' women or want a milf experience and guys who feel they can talk to older women better and get on with them better. I've had some good convos with the latter group and some have sounded genuine, intelligent, and decent. So I've decided to seriously consider younger guys. Not a lot younger, but certainly younger than I was doing before. It seems to me they are just as likely to fall into all the same categories that any other guys would, i.e. players, genuine, casual, cranks, liars, obsessives, and so on, so might as well see if I can find the genuine guys and see how it goes. 1
DontWorryBHappy Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 (edited) Honestly I'm the same as you. Men mature slower than women, so I think in general it's a good idea to date older men. I recently was talking to a guy 4 years younger as well, and man I just felt like I was in a different league (age-wise). A man who is at least a year older than me is more mature in my eyes, and has gotten more of their old stupid ways behind them.. lol. Edited June 1, 2012 by DontWorryBHappy
FitChick Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 What are your respective ages? Four years is nothing if you are over 35 but significant if you are in your teens or twenties.
mortensorchid Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 Yes, how old are you? That will give some more insights. I have dated younger men in the past. It is not a big deal unless the person is 10+ years younger. My last serious bf was 6 years younger than me, I'm 37 and he was 31. It wasn't a big deal to me, I think he was kind of proud of it honestly. As he lived at home with his family, I met them. I asked if it bothered them at all, being that I was to meet his mother so quickly into it. He said his mother was kind of impressed that he picked a mature, sophisticated, older woman rather than the others he had been with in the past. But if you are 22 and this guy is 18, there are going to be some obvious issues there. If you are 28 and he's 24, not SO much, but still signifigant.
manup Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 I didn't think I would be interested in a younger man. I have always gone for older men. Why? With an older man, I have always felt secure and comfortable -not only that, content because I am able to learn and grow with him due to maturity and intelligence (most of the time). However with a younger man, I feel he isn't mature enough (not at that stage yet) and even moreso I tend to notice a student-teacher relationship due to the age difference. Just makes me feel weird. All that being said, I am interested in a younger man and I don't know what to do about it. He's about 4 years younger than me. I don't know him fully yet, he comes across as a mature and nice man but the age difference bothers me. Almost everytime I talk to him, there is always that thought at the back of my head -and the fact that he may need a few more years of growing up in order to really understand and cherish life the way I do. What are your thoughts? 4 years isn't too much of a gap, if you like him why not?
Leopard Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 Age is just a number. I think it's all in your head. If he is mature and you are interested, then you should consider him an exception. Him being younger doesn't mean he is like all other men who are younger. There are older men out there who are less mature than he is. I say go for it I think somehow age might also be an insecurity. You say it's always in the back of your head. Did you ever have a bad experience with someone who was younger? Or maybe a relationship with someone young and you had problems because of that? The age thing is holding you back and you need to figure out why. I like older men too, and i've dated men my age but it's never worked out, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't consider one just because of his age. Maybe you need to think like this also? You are letting it get too much in the way, and that's all you, not him.
ATrainofAngels Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 (edited) maturity is a mindset, not an age I'm 22 and people always think I'm 27-29 if they don't ask me my age Edited June 1, 2012 by ATrainofAngels
pandagirl Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 My current and last boyfriend were/are both younger than me. When I was 32, I dated a 28 year old, and now at 34, I'm again dating a 28-year-old! I've dated older men also, but for whatever reason, those guys didn't work out! As a general rule of thumb, yes, younger men can be a little less mature just because of life experience. However, my current boyfriend is leaps and bounds more mature than my last "younger BF," probably because he had to grown up fast on his own. A five year age difference isn't very much unless they're still in college.
kaylan Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 Knowing your age would help OP. I say a 4 year age gap isnt much depending on how old you both are.
LittlePrince Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 I didn't think I would be interested in a younger man. I have always gone for older men. Why? With an older man, I have always felt secure and comfortable -not only that, content because I am able to learn and grow with him due to maturity and intelligence (most of the time). However with a younger man, I feel he isn't mature enough (not at that stage yet) and even moreso I tend to notice a student-teacher relationship due to the age difference. Just makes me feel weird. All that being said, I am interested in a younger man and I don't know what to do about it. He's about 4 years younger than me. I don't know him fully yet, he comes across as a mature and nice man but the age difference bothers me. Almost everytime I talk to him, there is always that thought at the back of my head -and the fact that he may need a few more years of growing up in order to really understand and cherish life the way I do. What are your thoughts? What if he matures in a gnarled and twisted way coming to understand life is not to be cherished as your blind optimism and naïveté prescribe but to be disgusted with?
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