FullCircle Posted May 31, 2012 Posted May 31, 2012 I've read a lot of stories here on LS and like many of the stories here, my relationship went on way longer then it should have. We can describe my past relationship of one of the GIGS stories. I caught it first, she caught it second. With GIGS, the ending is neither person's fault. The saying "**** Happens" comes to mind. If you lived it once, you see it all over the place. Thats how I saw her's going off. My spidey senses were kicking in saying her behavior looks familiar. The term dumper and dumpee in these types of breakups is irrelevant. There are 2 new posters on this forum that are extending the length of their current relationship longer then it has to be, one by 5-6 months. Its neither person's fault for the relationship ending, it just happens. I was guilty of this. I ended the relationship and 6 months later we were breaking up due to her gigs. The sad part is I do not remember ending the relationship 6 months previous to that but it happened and she stayed. People that gigs out are complete and utter idiots. I was one of them. We do wake up one day and deal with a LIFETIME of regret in a short amount of time. I will say, once it (whatever this GIGS thing is...) I had no awareness or control over my own actions. It was like I was lost and doing things on autopilot. Things I have never done before. I say this now and to myself because recently I have been getting a lot of breadcrumbs from my ex. I see anger, revenge, hate in her breadcrumbs of how I treated her while I was in GIGS. I know deep down my actions murdered her emotionally and while this is something I had no control over, I do regret it to this day. Part of this thread is me trying to self talk my way through and process this regret. I continue to do the same stupid things that I did back then but for different reasons. To keep myself linked to her, so she knows I'll be there for her, and at the same time, I find it impossible to cut the string because doing so causes tremendous pain. So I am stuck in a catch 22. At the same time, I empathize with the pain she's about to feel. It's the worst pain I have experienced in my life and everyone of us that goes through this feels it. I've been through a couple break ups before, nothing compared me to waking up to this symphony going off.
theoris Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 i feel you here. It's all too easy in hindsight to criticize decisions. Sure I could have been more affectionate at times, wafted the flame longer etc.. Isn't it true though that our sentiments and thoughts at that time led us to behave in such a way? It was circumstantial. Im starting to think that the dying spark in my relationship wasnt all my fault. We didn't always have that cialas moment and yes, i got lazy perhaps, but she did too. It's been almost a month since my ex lady left me and found another guy, and it truly is the worst thing to has happened to me. i fluctuate between placing guilt all on my part, to not caring, to blaming her all within a single thought stream it seems.
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