fishtaco Posted June 2, 2012 Posted June 2, 2012 Yeah, why the focus on white women? I've seen very unattractive white women, and women of many other ethnicity. I'm Asian, I find Hispanic women the most attractive (and I've seen very unattractive Hispanic women), and Asian women the least attractive (and I've seen very attractive Asian women). To me, white women is average. I say that because Hispanic women get bonus point with me, Asian women better be spectacular before I'll even notice them. White women are in the middle. As far as my chances, not the best. I had a discussion with an LS'er here awhile back. Being Asian is like being short, even Asian women don't like to date Asian men. OKCupid study echos that; Hispanic women are interested in Asian men the least. But all that means is if I play the game of whoever-dies-having-slept-with-the-most-number-of-women-wins, then I won't win. But I'm not playing that game, so I'm perfectly fine. I meet women, I get dates, I get sex, I get relationships. Being in Southern California helps. A lot of diversity here, so it's not difficult to meet a woman willing to date inter-racially. I don't need a hand-out. I don't need bonus points from my ethnicity. If I can start at zero instead of negative, then that's all I need to work from. But that's not to say I wouldn't welcome any freebie advantage. I'd gladly accept any, but just that they are not necessities. My chances are the best with black women living in predominately non-black communities. They pretty expect to date inter-racially, they don't have other black people giving them crap for dating inter-racially, and they're in the same boat as Asian men... i.e. not a "popular" ethnicity/gender combination. OKCupid study echos this as well. But the problem is, there are not a lot of them. If there were, then it wouldn't be a predominately non-black community. So my chances of success with them are higher, but my chances of meeting one is lower.
ThaWholigan Posted June 2, 2012 Posted June 2, 2012 I agree with you. But I feel like people can and do often look past what media tells them to find attractive. But they still feel the need to go for the media ideals to save or gain "status". True. I always loved black girls myself, but I have always had a thing for the curly haired girls with the slightly light brown skin. Either them, or the Mediterranean/middle eastern girls. There are a lot of white women I do find attractive, but not as much as an exotic looking woman who looks mixed. Or a woman of my own race . I never understood the guys who predominantly liked white girls and no other race of girls, and they were blacker than I am . To each their own I suppose. I've been approached by white girls where it was pretty clear that they only liked me BECAUSE I was black, and no other reason. 1
kaylan Posted June 2, 2012 Posted June 2, 2012 (edited) The media influences and controls what people find attractive as much as their own body image and the weirdo steps they take to compensate for any flaws which is not at all. If you think the media has nothing to do with how people think and behave, then you have no idea how the world works. Society has a huge influence over how people think and feel. How else can you explain why Black men and Asian women are sexually fetishized yet Black women and Asian men generally are not.I agree with you. But I feel like people can and do often look past what media tells them to find attractive. But they still feel the need to go for the media ideals to save or gain "status". But its not always something that conscious. Nurture plays a big role in how we all develop. As much so as Nature. Sure a lot of people date interracially nowadays, but thats because they were raised in a society where its deemed ok. If this was 60 years ago, thered be less people who found themselves attracted to other races because the exposure is different and because they are taught different things. So I dont think people are out there dating because they consciously worry about media ideals or status...i think they just like what they like because of the nurture aspect of things. Its beyond their conscious control based on their upbringing. Edited June 2, 2012 by kaylan
LittlePrince Posted June 2, 2012 Posted June 2, 2012 If you think the media has nothing to do with how people think and behave, then you have no idea how the world works. Society has a huge influence over how people think and feel. How else can you explain why Black men and Asian women are sexually fetishized yet Black women and Asian men generally are not. Yes, the media has its fetishes but that isn't how the real world works.
kaylan Posted June 2, 2012 Posted June 2, 2012 Also This all being said, Im def attracted to all types of women...but Im sure if I was raised in a different culture, my tastes may be different.Yes, the media has its fetishes but that isn't how the real world works. If society doesnt influence behavior, explain why homosexuality in men was highly prevalent in ancient times but isnt today. Nurture plays a LARGE role in human development and what we ended up liking and disliking.
LittlePrince Posted June 2, 2012 Posted June 2, 2012 Sexual orientation didn't change. Openness perhaps but it wasn't due to the media.
mesmerized Posted June 2, 2012 Posted June 2, 2012 Also This all being said, Im def attracted to all types of women...but Im sure if I was raised in a different culture, my tastes may be different. If society doesnt influence behavior, explain why homosexuality in men was highly prevalent in ancient times but isnt today. Nurture plays a LARGE role in human development and what we ended up liking and disliking. Nobody said nurture doesn't play a role...but I've known men who told me personally that they go for what they go for the status it gives them. One guy even said he likes curvy women but only takes the very thin girls out with him to social events etc because where he lives in NYC, that is how an arm candy should look like. You underestimate how important it is for men and women to get approval on their choices.
kaylan Posted June 2, 2012 Posted June 2, 2012 (edited) Sexual orientation didn't change. Openness perhaps but it wasn't due to the media. Whatever you want to tell yourself. I already made my points. If nurture had no influence on sexuality than women all over the globe would be intestered in black men the way American women are. And my good friend whos in the military can tell you from experience that women in different countries dont all feel the same about black men. And that some of them mentioned ignorant crap they saw on tv as reasons why. But according to you, society(which media is a part of) doesnt influence us at all.Nobody said nurture doesn't play a role...but I've known men who told me personally that they go for what they go for the status it gives them. One guy even said he likes curvy women but only takes the very thin girls out with him to social events etc because where he lives in NYC, that is how an arm candy should look like. You underestimate how important it is for men and women to get approval on their choices. Actually I believe LittlePrince is trying to discount the role of nurture in behavior. Edited June 2, 2012 by kaylan
yongyong Posted June 2, 2012 Posted June 2, 2012 Not all white women will date minority guys. Only few will date minority guys. I am totally fine with this since you want to date someone who looks similar and you want to have a kid who resembles your skin. In my country, girls will look down on certain colored guys like a piece of sxit. (usually because of their social status) we don't deny this though. It just bothers me when people throw sxits. 'OMG, don't be so negative, any white women will date minority guys' 'Oh Johnny, I would date minority guy' (she has white BF and never dated one) Be realistic. Many women will reject you because of your skin. All you can do is approach as many as you can to find one who will appreciate your background.
Pillow Posted June 2, 2012 Posted June 2, 2012 (edited) It all boils down to porn. There is just not a large amount of Asian guy porn. Asian guys just need to break into the porn industry pronto and they will be golden. That is where the blonde fetish comes from. Now we have all types of white women in porn. Same is true with Asian women fetish. Now, us black women are coming up in porn and that's why we are getting the recognition we deserve. Right now, black women's porn is still under the title of ghetto, but you work with what you got. Porn is not the land of the PC. Look at what porn did for black men. I mean really it gave them an advantage in the game. All Asian men need to do is break into it, find some cool way (Non-PC) to identify themselves and then have sex with all kinds of women in porn. Their image will go up in society. Sexualization of yourself= higher status Yellow twig meets blushing blonde Asian guru in office with brunette secretary Kung Fu Master K'Os young latina Edited June 2, 2012 by Pillow
TaurusTerp Posted June 2, 2012 Posted June 2, 2012 You missed the entire point of her post. She mad two valid points: a) Black and Latino men on average tend to be a lot more assertive, masculine, and confident than White, Asian, or Indian men. Plenty of women attest to this fact. Again this is on average though. This isnt to say that there arent plenty of wimpy Latino and Black men...because there are. Just like theres plenty of overtly masculine and confidently assertive White and Asian men. Its just that on average, people can see Black men and Latino men tend to be more confident. b) Whites as a group tend to not recognize or have the same understanding of racism as other races do. Also, many whites tend to dismiss it when a minority calls out racism. This is so because minorities have a different life experience and perspective...so it would be hard for the average white person to see where they are coming from. Especially when living in a society built mainly around white culture. And her last sentence was saying, "Why are whites so understanding of the natural sciences but not generally adept when it comes to the social sciences" PS - I think you knew she meant to say subliminally and not sublimely. I got the points she was making, I just think it's ridiculous that both of you think some traits are okay to generalize to an entire race but not others and it's somehow not racism. You can make "on average" statements for many, many things, all of which would be racist in any other context. African Americans, on average, are more likely to be in jail, have lower IQ scores, belong to a lower economic bracket. Are you telling me that using these "facts", which can readily be backed up by statistics, to justify not dating black people is okay and not racism? Racism is judging others to be inferior based on the color of their skin. Which is exactly what you are giving a pass to and the basis of the arguments of most of the posters here. There is no false equivalency here.
TaurusTerp Posted June 2, 2012 Posted June 2, 2012 As for me taking potshots at sublime vs subliminal, well, I would've apologized if it weren't for the stupidity dripping off the porn post above.
kaylan Posted June 2, 2012 Posted June 2, 2012 (edited) Taurus are you white or asian? Because thatd explain why youd stupidly try to parallel the malicious racism inside people who use the low IQ criminal stereotypes of black people with the non assertive claims of pillow. Those two things arent on the same plane. Its funny how butt hurt some folks get about minor things like white men being seen as less assertive than black men. Tell me in what way that is the same as when black men are painted as stupid criminals. Try and use something with a more equivalent degree next time. I wouldnt tell an Asian guy who hates the small penis stereotype to get over it because latino guys deal with an immigrant Mexican stereotype...come on now Its always funny to me that when someone complains about even the slightest stereotype of white men, that they go ahead and try and compare it to worse stereotypes that are used by people who try and paint blacks as inferior. Its ridiculous to me that some folks are constantly trying to compare the racism a white person might encounter, with the racism a minority group deals with. It truly pales in comparison and I get sick of people trying to do that. In a world thats made for them, how could a white person ever truly equate their perspective to that of a minority...especially a black person. Its misguided at best, and arrogant at worst. Its no different to me then when men bitch about and try to compare their experience to that of women. Like when dudes cry about the nice guy stereotype or height issue and sit there and try and compare it to stereotypes and social concerns of women...which I never understood because women have to deal with a lot of crap in our patriarchal societies around the world. I just never understood how a priveleged group dare try to compare very minor issues to that of major issues facing an underprivleged group. It only minimizes the issues the underprivleged group faces. Just my look at it Edited June 2, 2012 by kaylan
kaylan Posted June 2, 2012 Posted June 2, 2012 (edited) As for me taking potshots at sublime vs subliminal, well, I would've apologized if it weren't for the stupidity dripping off the porn post above. Actually...Id say you just have the inability to grasp anything from her posts. Shes basically expounding upon what I said regarding media influence. Porn does have an influence of some of mens sexual tastes, but I dunno about women(doubt theyre influenced by porn as much as men). However, any woman with some years experience will tell you that porn contributed to how many men nowadays want anal...or want to cum on chicks in certain spots. This wasnt so widespread 15 or more years ago. Pillows post shouldnt be just about porn though. If you put attractive Asian men on billboards, tv shows, and movies...and made their role as the romantic interest of a few women...then women growing up would start seeing Asian men ina different light here in the West. So far Asian men and Indian men are just comic relief in movie and tv, or Asian guys are just doing martial arts when they happen to have a leading role (Jackie Chan, Jet li, Chow yun fat). That should change. A lot of the change in attitude toward dating Black and Latino men has to do with their increased numbers in media....especially in music. Im sure if more Asian men were involved in popular culture that women might start thinking more about them. But also, to touch on what mesmerized said earlier. I think a big reason why some folks dont date outside their race, is the same reason some people date a specific type of person. They do it to put on a show for others. Some women (men) care so much about how itll look if they date a specific type of person, that they just dont do it. Edited June 2, 2012 by kaylan
DjinnAgain Posted June 2, 2012 Posted June 2, 2012 I am a white woman. I don't ever judge a guy whether I would date him on skin color. More important are tastes (health, physical fitness, outdoorsy, adrenaline sports, classic rock), what's important (family-orientated), and I prefer guys who dress nice/preppy or outdoorsy. The last guy I had a major crush on was brown. My immediate area is predominantly white, though, so that's where most contact is; and you tend to go where it is familiar!
Pillow Posted June 2, 2012 Posted June 2, 2012 I was making a joke. So many times people tie everything to porn 1
TaurusTerp Posted June 2, 2012 Posted June 2, 2012 Taurus are you white or asian? Because thatd explain why youd stupidly try to parallel the malicious racism inside people who use the low IQ criminal stereotypes of black people with the non assertive claims of pillow. Those two things arent on the same plane. Its funny how butt hurt some folks get about minor things like white men being seen as less assertive than black men. Tell me in what way that is the same as when black men are painted as stupid criminals. Try and use something with a more equivalent degree next time. I wouldnt tell an Asian guy who hates the small penis stereotype to get over it because latino guys deal with an immigrant Mexican stereotype...come on now Its always funny to me that when someone complains about even the slightest stereotype of white men, that they go ahead and try and compare it to worse stereotypes that are used by people who try and paint blacks as inferior. Its ridiculous to me that some folks are constantly trying to compare the racism a white person might encounter, with the racism a minority group deals with. It truly pales in comparison and I get sick of people trying to do that. In a world thats made for them, how could a white person ever truly equate their perspective to that of a minority...especially a black person. Its misguided at best, and arrogant at worst. Its no different to me then when men bitch about and try to compare their experience to that of women. Like when dudes cry about the nice guy stereotype or height issue and sit there and try and compare it to stereotypes and social concerns of women...which I never understood because women have to deal with a lot of crap in our patriarchal societies around the world. I just never understood how a priveleged group dare try to compare very minor issues to that of major issues facing an underprivleged group. It only minimizes the issues the underprivleged group faces. Just my look at it Im not any of the above...I have no vested interest or "side" in this. I'm a mutt and do not look like any of the races, not really. I just think hypocrisy is hypocrisy and if you want to embrace the positive stereotypes of your race you should STFU if people are going to embrace negative stereotypes. Your argument is it's a larger degree of negative racism. Degrees are all relative - to my mind being unassertive is just as bad as being stupid, if not worse. I'd rather be dumb than an unassertive pussy. If you're going to say it's a fact that black people are "x", be it athletic, bigger penises, assertive, how are you going to say that on average they are worse at nothing else? Are black people the master race?
TaurusTerp Posted June 2, 2012 Posted June 2, 2012 Actually...Id say you just have the inability to grasp anything from her posts. Shes basically expounding upon what I said regarding media influence. Porn does have an influence of some of mens sexual tastes, but I dunno about women(doubt theyre influenced by porn as much as men). However, any woman with some years experience will tell you that porn contributed to how many men nowadays want anal...or want to cum on chicks in certain spots. This wasnt so widespread 15 or more years ago. Pillows post shouldnt be just about porn though. If you put attractive Asian men on billboards, tv shows, and movies...and made their role as the romantic interest of a few women...then women growing up would start seeing Asian men ina different light here in the West. So far Asian men and Indian men are just comic relief in movie and tv, or Asian guys are just doing martial arts when they happen to have a leading role (Jackie Chan, Jet li, Chow yun fat). That should change. A lot of the change in attitude toward dating Black and Latino men has to do with their increased numbers in media....especially in music. Im sure if more Asian men were involved in popular culture that women might start thinking more about them. But also, to touch on what mesmerized said earlier. I think a big reason why some folks dont date outside their race, is the same reason some people date a specific type of person. They do it to put on a show for others. Some women (men) care so much about how itll look if they date a specific type of person, that they just dont do it. I dont disagree with anything you say here, nor do I disagree with Pillow I suppose just the way she was presenting it.
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