jwi71 Posted May 30, 2012 Posted May 30, 2012 Thought I would gather official unofficial stats on OW/OM who M their AP. This is open to posters who are currently in A's as well. 1) Please give your side of the triangle you played or are currently playing: BS, WS, AP, or N/A 2) Can you reasonably determine the reason the WS filed for D? If so, would you say the MM left specifically "for the AP"? If there are multiple possible/plausible reasons please only provide an estimated weight ( as a %) for the answer of "for the AP". Please answer "N/A" if this cannot be reasonably determined. 3) If known, how long was the A (measured in years and months)? 4) Are the AP's currently M to each other? 5) If the AP's are not currently M to each other, were they ever M to one another? 1
Author jwi71 Posted May 30, 2012 Author Posted May 30, 2012 I'll go first. 1) I was the BS (BH) 2) The WS did not file for D. 3) The A was roughly 1.5 Months 4) No 5) No
Owl Posted May 30, 2012 Posted May 30, 2012 1. BS 2. No divorce. 3. A lasted < 3 months. 4. Contact between AP and WW ended within a month after d-day. 5. No...BS and WS have reconciled and remained married.
UpwardForward Posted May 30, 2012 Posted May 30, 2012 1. BS 2. H filed. (for AP), N/A 3. Less than 1 yr 4. No 5. Yes
eleanorrigby Posted May 30, 2012 Posted May 30, 2012 1. BS and WS 2. No divorce. 3. His affair- 6 months mine-two dates 4. Affairs were ended. 5. Marriage reconciled.
MissBee Posted May 30, 2012 Posted May 30, 2012 1. AP 2. There was no D, he also wasn't married, LTR with a child. I think he is currently still with the same woman but I'm not sure. 3. A little over 2 years 4.No 5.No
beachbabe82 Posted May 31, 2012 Posted May 31, 2012 Thought I would gather official unofficial stats on OW/OM who M their AP. This is open to posters who are currently in A's as well. 1) Please give your side of the triangle you played or are currently playing: BS, WS, AP, or N/A I am the girlfriend of a separated man named Billy. He is currently married, but separated. 2) Can you reasonably determine the reason the WS filed for D? If so, would you say the MM left specifically "for the AP"? If there are multiple possible/plausible reasons please only provide an estimated weight ( as a %) for the answer of "for the AP". Please answer "N/A" if this cannot be reasonably determined. Are you asking if I am the reason they are separated or if our relationship played a role in their decision to separated? I guess I would say 50% is cause we are in love. 3) If known, how long was the A (measured in years and months)? Been together since Labor Day 2011. 4) Are the AP's currently M to each other? Technically yes the are married but he moved out of their home Janusry 29 of this year. 5) If the AP's are not currently M to each other, were they ever M to one another? I put my answers in bold above!
SidLyon Posted May 31, 2012 Posted May 31, 2012 Thought I would gather official unofficial stats on OW/OM who M their AP. This is open to posters who are currently in A's as well. 1) Please give your side of the triangle you played or are currently playing: BS, WS, AP, or N/A 2) Can you reasonably determine the reason the WS filed for D? If so, would you say the MM left specifically "for the AP"? If there are multiple possible/plausible reasons please only provide an estimated weight ( as a %) for the answer of "for the AP". Please answer "N/A" if this cannot be reasonably determined. 3) If known, how long was the A (measured in years and months)? 4) Are the AP's currently M to each other? 5) If the AP's are not currently M to each other, were they ever M to one another? I'll answer for myself first: 1. I'm the BW. 2.We are still married and now reconciled 3.5 years after d-day. 3. The affair proper lasted for 3 years and 5 months. However it was another 3 years and 3 months before d-day and there was intermittent contact in that time as well as a serious effort to resurrect the affair starting about 8 months before d-day. 4 & 5. No my H and I are still married. Now I'll answer for the other affair the OW was having during the months before our d-day. 1. I'm not directly part of that triangle but I have become friends with the other BW. 2. The other MM left his BW for the OW shortly after their d-day which was only 3 or 4 weeks before my d-day. 3. Form talking to the other BW the affair went for about 6 months before their d-day (ie the same period when my fWH was trying to resurrect the affair). 4 & 5. They are not married to each other but are now living together as a family with her kids. I have recently heard that the OW is now chasing yet another MM who is so far, resisting.
4321sn Posted May 31, 2012 Posted May 31, 2012 1. AP 2. For the AP 3. 1 year and 10 months 4. No 5. No
woinlove Posted May 31, 2012 Posted May 31, 2012 1. OW 2. for AP 3. 3 months to separation, filing; over a year to actual divorce 4. No 5. No
bentnotbroken Posted May 31, 2012 Posted May 31, 2012 Thought I would gather official unofficial stats on OW/OM who M their AP. This is open to posters who are currently in A's as well. 1) Please give your side of the triangle you played or are currently playing: BS, WS, AP, or N/A 2) Can you reasonably determine the reason the WS filed for D? If so, would you say the MM left specifically "for the AP"? If there are multiple possible/plausible reasons please only provide an estimated weight ( as a %) for the answer of "for the AP". Please answer "N/A" if this cannot be reasonably determined. 3) If known, how long was the A (measured in years and months)? 4) Are the AP's currently M to each other? 5) If the AP's are not currently M to each other, were they ever M to one another? 1) fBS 2)both BS filed 3)Mr. Messy had several unknown affairs..not sure of the duration of most of them. The last one about 2 years. 4)No 5)No
Radagast Posted May 31, 2012 Posted May 31, 2012 Thought I would gather official unofficial stats on OW/OM who M their AP. This is open to posters who are currently in A's as well. 1) Please give your side of the triangle you played or are currently playing: BS, WS, AP, or N/A 2) Can you reasonably determine the reason the WS filed for D? If so, would you say the MM left specifically "for the AP"? If there are multiple possible/plausible reasons please only provide an estimated weight ( as a %) for the answer of "for the AP". Please answer "N/A" if this cannot be reasonably determined. 3) If known, how long was the A (measured in years and months)? 4) Are the AP's currently M to each other? 5) If the AP's are not currently M to each other, were they ever M to one another? 1) 1st case I was the "Other Man" 2nd case I was the "unfaithful spouse." 2) 1st case no the "betrayed spouse" kicked her out and she came to live with me (the "other man") at that point, and he filed for divorce on the grounds of her infidelity. 2nd case yes I filed for divorce, yes it was to be with my affair partner, I filed on the basis of my ex-wife's "unreasonable behaviour" (UK divorce law does not allow the unfaithful spouse to sue for divorce on the grounds of their own infidelity.) 3) 1st case it was on and off over months for more than a year, say 15 months? It was a very long time ago and I can't recall exactly at which point she moved in and stayed, rather than moving in and moving back. 2nd case was about three years, or just over. 4) 1st case no, I divorced her to marry my current wife. 2nd case yes, very much so, and very happily. 5) 1st case yes, the marriage lasted many years. 2nd case yes.
Got it Posted May 31, 2012 Posted May 31, 2012 1) Please give your side of the triangle you played or are currently playing: BS, WS, AP, or N/A WS and AP 2) Can you reasonably determine the reason the WS filed for D? If so, would you say the MM left specifically "for the AP"? If there are multiple possible/plausible reasons please only provide an estimated weight ( as a %) for the answer of "for the AP". Please answer "N/A" if this cannot be reasonably determined. As WS - I left, my ex filed. As AP - he left, his ex filed. (I had no need or immediate desire to push through the divorce after the state mandated waiting period. My ex was preparing to marry again and wanted it wrapped up. Since it was just paperwork and no major financial decisions needed we hadn't pushed it until that point.) 3) If known, how long was the A (measured in years and months)? 1 year 4) Are the AP's currently M to each other? Engaged 5) If the AP's are not currently M to each other, were they ever M to one another?
beenburned Posted May 31, 2012 Posted May 31, 2012 1. FBS 2. No divorce 3. 3 brief flings(FB's) in early years of marriage 4. No 5. No
silktricks Posted May 31, 2012 Posted May 31, 2012 Thought I would gather official unofficial stats on OW/OM who M their AP. This is open to posters who are currently in A's as well. 1) Please give your side of the triangle you played or are currently playing: BS, WS, AP, or N/A 2) Can you reasonably determine the reason the WS filed for D? If so, would you say the MM left specifically "for the AP"? If there are multiple possible/plausible reasons please only provide an estimated weight ( as a %) for the answer of "for the AP". Please answer "N/A" if this cannot be reasonably determined. 3) If known, how long was the A (measured in years and months)? 4) Are the AP's currently M to each other? 5) If the AP's are not currently M to each other, were they ever M to one another? 1. BS 2. WS did not file for divorce - we reconciled 3. affair was about a year - lead up to it was another year plus 4. No 5. No
carhill Posted May 31, 2012 Posted May 31, 2012 1) Please give your side of the triangle you played or are currently playing: BS, WS, AP, or N/AfOM, fMM 2) Can you reasonably determine the reason the WS filed for D? If so, would you say the MM left specifically "for the AP"? If there are multiple possible/plausible reasons please only provide an estimated weight ( as a %) for the answer of "for the AP". Please answer "N/A" if this cannot be reasonably determined.Irreconcilable differences. I observed interaction between the divorced spouses much later, as MM. Anything further would be speculation. Of course, I 'heard' a lot. 3) If known, how long was the A (measured in years and months)? As fOM, roughly 8 years. As MM, roughly 2 years. A 14 year span interceded, during which the fAP got divorced. 4) Are the AP's currently M to each other? No 5) If the AP's are not currently M to each other, were they ever M to one another?No
Spark1111 Posted May 31, 2012 Posted May 31, 2012 Thought I would gather official unofficial stats on OW/OM who M their AP. This is open to posters who are currently in A's as well. 1) Please give your side of the triangle you played or are currently playing: BS, WS, AP, or N/A 2) Can you reasonably determine the reason the WS filed for D? If so, would you say the MM left specifically "for the AP"? If there are multiple possible/plausible reasons please only provide an estimated weight ( as a %) for the answer of "for the AP". Please answer "N/A" if this cannot be reasonably determined. 3) If known, how long was the A (measured in years and months)? 4) Are the AP's currently M to each other? 5) If the AP's are not currently M to each other, were they ever M to one another? 1) fBS 2)Reconciled 3) 1.5 years 4) No 5) No
VivienViolet Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 1. fWS 2. No divorce. Wasn't a consideration. 3. Very brief. 4. No. 5. No. I confessed A and we are reconciling.
serial muse Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 1) I was the BS. 2) I filed for divorce. 3) Not sure, but at least 6 months, probably longer. 4) No. 5) Yes, for less than a year.
daisy love Posted June 3, 2012 Posted June 3, 2012 I was the OW. I think he left for me. Not really sure now. I told him it was her or me and he's filed, so I guess it was me. We're living together and in Couples Counseling. The counselor thinks he should be in IC too, but he refuses. He thinks I'm just having a hard time adjusting to our new life. I think that answered all your questions.
Benedictatu Posted June 7, 2012 Posted June 7, 2012 Thought I would gather official unofficial stats on OW/OM who M their AP. This is open to posters who are currently in A's as well. 1) Please give your side of the triangle you played or are currently playing: BS, WS, AP, or N/A 2) Can you reasonably determine the reason the WS filed for D? If so, would you say the MM left specifically "for the AP"? If there are multiple possible/plausible reasons please only provide an estimated weight ( as a %) for the answer of "for the AP". Please answer "N/A" if this cannot be reasonably determined. 3) If known, how long was the A (measured in years and months)? 4) Are the AP's currently M to each other? 5) If the AP's are not currently M to each other, were they ever M to one another? 1) I was the WS 2) He filed on the grounds of my infidelity. If I filed we would have had to be separated for a minimum of two years (5 if he contested) before I could file. So he filed. Yes I left to be with my AP. 3) It was about a year, on and off. 4) No we are no longer married. He left me (see below). 5) Yes we were married for more than thirty years.
Benedictatu Posted June 7, 2012 Posted June 7, 2012 Thought I would gather official unofficial stats on OW/OM who M their AP. This is open to posters who are currently in A's as well. 1) Please give your side of the triangle you played or are currently playing: BS, WS, AP, or N/A 2) Can you reasonably determine the reason the WS filed for D? If so, would you say the MM left specifically "for the AP"? If there are multiple possible/plausible reasons please only provide an estimated weight ( as a %) for the answer of "for the AP". Please answer "N/A" if this cannot be reasonably determined. 3) If known, how long was the A (measured in years and months)? 4) Are the AP's currently M to each other? 5) If the AP's are not currently M to each other, were they ever M to one another? 1) I was the BS. 2) Yes he filed. Yes he left for her. If it was not for her he would still be with me. 3) several years. I don't know how many. 3? 5? 4) yes he could not wait to marry her. It makes me sick!
Owl Posted June 11, 2012 Posted June 11, 2012 Since this dropped to the 3rd page, I figured I'd call it a "closed poll", and take a shot at posting what I thought I saw. CAVEATS: 1. I am not a statician nor mathmetician. 2. If someone posted two 'roles'...I counted the roles as seperate entitities. 3. I swagged at the number of months when someone said "short term", etc... So, here you go: Roles in an affair: BS- 42% WS- 23% AP- 34% Percentage where the WS left for the AP: 34%, with 65% not leaving for the AP Average length of the affair was 18 months, but there were a few huge outliers that skewed this stat. It appeared that 23% of the posters situations led to the marriage of the affiar partners (with 77% not marrying at all), and of those, 11% have remained married thru today (with the remaining 89% not married today). There's the "unofficial, official LS stats" from this thread...unless of course I need to go to remedial math, which is always possible. Thoughts?
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