Wey Posted May 30, 2012 Posted May 30, 2012 Okay, I'll give some more detail. I've been seeing someone for about two months. Since the relationship became physical and we began staying at each others place some evenings she has been very big on cuddling. This is not a problem for me, I like to cuddle, she just always wants to hold me. I assumed this is a sign that she likes me. However, she has never really been one to initiate contact through text or phone. It has never really bothered me, I assume some girls are just like that. Lately I have been testing to see if she will contact me if I don't contact her. I didn't contact her when she was on vacation and I never heard from her. When she got back I set up a time to see her but she had to cancel and then I didn't contact her for 5 days. Never heard from her. I just contacted her yesterday and she responded. We had a good conversation and she told me that she is free this weekend but we haven't made plans yet. My questions are as follows. 1. Are some girls just "cuddlers" that will always be holding onto you and practically sleep on top of you but at the same time not have strong feelings for you? 2. I didn't take the canceled date personally because life gets in the way of things, I understand that completely. Should I be worried that she willingly talks to me and tells me she is available but never initiates contact? p.s. We have had sex several times.
pteromom Posted May 30, 2012 Posted May 30, 2012 1. Are some girls just "cuddlers" that will always be holding onto you and practically sleep on top of you but at the same time not have strong feelings for you? Yes. I have known girls who are really into hugging and cuddling guys because they like the physical contact, but have no interest in those guys. 2. I didn't take the canceled date personally because life gets in the way of things, I understand that completely. Should I be worried that she willingly talks to me and tells me she is available but never initiates contact? Not necessarily. Some people are very passive about initiating contact. It could be that she's one of those people, or it could be she just doesn't really care about talking to you. Only she knows! p.s. We have had sex several times. If she is still sleeping with you, this increases the chance that she does actually like you. Honestly, if you've been seeing each other for two months, I think it is ok to have a conversation about how you feel for each other. 1
GG3 Posted May 30, 2012 Posted May 30, 2012 (edited) Okay, I'll give some more detail. I've been seeing someone for about two months. Since the relationship became physical and we began staying at each others place some evenings she has been very big on cuddling. This is not a problem for me, I like to cuddle, she just always wants to hold me. I assumed this is a sign that she likes me. However, she has never really been one to initiate contact through text or phone. It has never really bothered me, I assume some girls are just like that. Lately I have been testing to see if she will contact me if I don't contact her. I didn't contact her when she was on vacation and I never heard from her. When she got back I set up a time to see her but she had to cancel and then I didn't contact her for 5 days. Never heard from her. I just contacted her yesterday and she responded. We had a good conversation and she told me that she is free this weekend but we haven't made plans yet. My questions are as follows. 1. Are some girls just "cuddlers" that will always be holding onto you and practically sleep on top of you but at the same time not have strong feelings for you? 2. I didn't take the canceled date personally because life gets in the way of things, I understand that completely. Should I be worried that she willingly talks to me and tells me she is available but never initiates contact? p.s. We have had sex several times. This could be me and you could almost be my boyfriend. He is the one who went on vacation, not me. I'm a huge cuddler. I am used to dating alpha-males who like to lead and be "in control" of the relationship. I'm so passive when it comes to contacting someone or initiating things because I've been burned in the past by these guys who want to be in charge or take the lead at all times. My current boyfriend is not like this and I don't know what to do with myself. Ever since my boyfriend came back from his trip, I hardly hear from him anymore and it hurts. I intitiate a little but it's really hard for me. (of course he could be losing interest although he insists he doesn't think anything is different). When we are together in person he is the same but I hardly get calls from him anymore. I would say don't assume that she isn't into just because she isn't contacting you. She could be like me. I would tend to try to get the guy to ask me out and am too passive for my own good. By the way...i really miss talking to my boyfriend and am now afraid he just doesn't want to talk to me as much. If that makes you feel any better about your own situation. Edited May 30, 2012 by GG3
Author Wey Posted May 31, 2012 Author Posted May 31, 2012 Thats kind of odd GG3, that is exactly what I'm going through. It is so weird because she told me the day before she left for her trip that she was actually going to change her work schedule so that she could hang out with me more. When she got back it was like there was a huge shift. I have accepted that the only person that knows why she doesn't seem that into me is her, I may never know. If she didn't want to see me then I would like to think that she would tell me. That is at least what I always do. It is possible I am just a filler until she finds someone who she wants to have a relationship with. I'm going to try and set it up this weekend so that I see her, if it doesn't work out then I will know my answer. GG3 keep your head up.
GG3 Posted May 31, 2012 Posted May 31, 2012 Thats kind of odd GG3, that is exactly what I'm going through. It is so weird because she told me the day before she left for her trip that she was actually going to change her work schedule so that she could hang out with me more. GG3 keep your head up. Strange again. Before my ex left for his trip, he told me he thought I could stay over in the middle of the week now and see each other more. He had finally cleaned up his house some before he left and was more comfortable with me coming around more. So here I thought things were progressing and going well. And it's like something happened on this trip or he had some bad thoughts or something. I've asked twice and he insists nothing is bothering him and he can't tell the difference. So I feel like there isn't much else I can really do.
surferchic Posted May 31, 2012 Posted May 31, 2012 Now this is all quite interesting yet typical of relationships now days. Not sure why both parties are always afraid to express how they feel. That's why we have so much game playing, ad nauseam. I know its risky to be transparent but someone has to or you'll get nowhere. I say have a discussion with her but make it light hearted. Pay attention to her response and take it as as her true response. She may be wondering about how you feel as well. If you don't sense she's playing games then just try to meet each other in the middle where's its comfortable for both of you in terms of verbal and physical affection.
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