heatherfeather Posted May 30, 2012 Posted May 30, 2012 I want to break my 2 week no contact to get my stuff. No I won't just let him have my stuff...and I don't want his either. Not sure if it is wise or not right now..fighting the urge right now.
geegirl Posted May 30, 2012 Posted May 30, 2012 I want to break my 2 week no contact to get my stuff. No I won't just let him have my stuff...and I don't want his either. Not sure if it is wise or not right now..fighting the urge right now. Why didn't you get your stuff after the break-up?
Author heatherfeather Posted May 30, 2012 Author Posted May 30, 2012 It was over the phone and he was in the middle of a move and my stuff was all with his stuff.
mephisto Posted May 30, 2012 Posted May 30, 2012 BAD MOVE!!!!!! Ask a friend,sister,brother...anyone but you. You will so regret it...let him deal with somebody else but not you. Keep him at distant,not worthy. He chose to leave then dont share a second with him. Sending somebody else is soooo...ignoring him ? Up to you. I want to break my 2 week no contact to get my stuff. No I won't just let him have my stuff...and I don't want his either. Not sure if it is wise or not right now..fighting the urge right now.
geegirl Posted May 30, 2012 Posted May 30, 2012 It was over the phone and he was in the middle of a move and my stuff was all with his stuff. Can you ask a friend to go and pick it up? Is it stuff that is of significant value because sometimes it's best to just let it go and move on.
Author heatherfeather Posted May 30, 2012 Author Posted May 30, 2012 Ahh he now lives farther away so I am not going to ask for them to go get it. Besides he has a kennel I need back for my former dog...and none of my friends have trucks. He has one though. No I can't just leave the stuff....and I want him to have his stuff and his son's stuff back. Actually haven't seen him in over a month...just no contact for 2 weeks.
geegirl Posted May 30, 2012 Posted May 30, 2012 Ahh he now lives farther away so I am not going to ask for them to go get it. Besides he has a kennel I need back for my former dog...and none of my friends have trucks. He has one though. No I can't just leave the stuff....and I want him to have his stuff and his son's stuff back. Actually haven't seen him in over a month...just no contact for 2 weeks. I believe that "stuff" is most times used as a doorway to revisit an opportunity for contact. In 5 years, is the kennel really going to mean anything to you? Or the clothes, shoes, etc? If he hasn't asked for his stuff back, then box it all up and send it to him or shove it away somewhere. I don't think you should be derailing your emotional sanity and health over material things. You can always get it back when you're a little more settled in your emotions or when he reaches out wanting to return them.
Nohbody Posted May 30, 2012 Posted May 30, 2012 Breaking NC is probably going to suck a lot. If the stuff is that important to you, do so. If it isn't... leave it be for now.
Author heatherfeather Posted May 30, 2012 Author Posted May 30, 2012 Yes since it isn't my kennel I must get it back to the person who borrowed it to me. Yes the rest of my stuff does mean alot to me. Also his son needs his car seat etc...
Rorschach64 Posted May 30, 2012 Posted May 30, 2012 Let it go...listen to geegirl. I've decided to let go a very expensive piece of electronic equipment in spite of not begging and pleading for a possible return of my stuff. Let alone looking pathetic for finding a way to keep contact, just let it go. Guess I posted too late...explain the situation to the person you borrowed it from (the kennel) and see what they have to say about it...maybe they don't even want it back
Author heatherfeather Posted May 30, 2012 Author Posted May 30, 2012 They recently asked for it back...I was going to do NC for a month before I contacted the ex for my stuff. I figured it would give him time for the move etc...and for us both to settle our emotions.
geegirl Posted May 30, 2012 Posted May 30, 2012 Yes since it isn't my kennel I must get it back to the person who borrowed it to me. Yes the rest of my stuff does mean alot to me. Also his son needs his car seat etc... Let him decide whether his son needs the car seat. He is a father and will most likely get a new one or ask you for it. As for the kennel, your friend may say that he/she does not need it or can let it go. As for your other stuff, I will say this again. It's material. Nothing is more important than you sanity, dignity and emotional health.
Author heatherfeather Posted May 30, 2012 Author Posted May 30, 2012 Let alone looking pathetic for finding a way to keep contact, just let it go. Who is to say you look pathetic? Aren't they alittle for keeping it?
geegirl Posted May 30, 2012 Posted May 30, 2012 If you are adamant about getting your stuff, then send him an email and arrange for a day and a pick up time. No matter what we say, you want your stuff back. Keep it brief and concise and no talk about the R or the break-up. Just establish a good day and time, exchange and move on.
Author heatherfeather Posted May 30, 2012 Author Posted May 30, 2012 Well Geegee I understand where you are coming from but I also know what I need to do. I took responsibility for the kennel etc when borrowing it from my friend. My ex was supposed to fix it as my dog bent the crap out of it. Now my friend wants it back, they know the situation with the ex right now. I have given him space and time...however I need to the clouser of getting my things back and my friends. I have toys, clothes etc... of his son's here that although they prob isn't as important. I figured give them back to him (they are in my garage) when I get my stuff back.
geegirl Posted May 30, 2012 Posted May 30, 2012 Well Geegee I understand where you are coming from but I also know what I need to do. I took responsibility for the kennel etc when borrowing it from my friend. My ex was supposed to fix it as my dog bent the crap out of it. Now my friend wants it back, they know the situation with the ex right now. I have given him space and time...however I need to the clouser of getting my things back and my friends. I have toys, clothes etc... of his son's here that although they prob isn't as important. I figured give them back to him (they are in my garage) when I get my stuff back. If you have to have your things now, then send him an email, be concise and brief about establishing a day and time for pick up. No talk about the break-up or the relationship. Exchange and move on.
Gulf-Delta Posted May 30, 2012 Posted May 30, 2012 Get someone to help you with it, or do it for you. The day I moved my exes stuff out, and saw her for the last time was one of the most emotional days of my life. I cried like a baby. My eyes were destroyed, heavy and inflamed, but I couldn't sleep. I met her at noon to drop off everything of hers I could fit in the car. Her furniture, her clothes, everything. But I couldn't make it all fit. I cried when I dropped it off, but knew I had more pain coming when she got off work and came to get the rest. The day ended with both of us crying our eyes out. Those memories hurt soo bad.
Author heatherfeather Posted May 30, 2012 Author Posted May 30, 2012 Honestly don't think I will be that bad. I was pretty angry when we split...more so over how he treated me. I think I literally shed 3 tears after the break up. WIll my heart flutter and will I be nervous? Yeah... but I will get over it.
Rorschach64 Posted May 30, 2012 Posted May 30, 2012 I was implying with my pathetic statement, if they were going to return it they would constantly pestering at them and begging for it back won't change it. That's just my opinion.
Author heatherfeather Posted May 31, 2012 Author Posted May 31, 2012 I agree Not begging I just know that he should have moved by now and had the opportunity to go through his things and my things to separate them
Sugarkane Posted May 31, 2012 Posted May 31, 2012 I really think it's pathetic that they won't give the dumpee their things. Especially when they don't need them. I wonder if these people like keeping our stuff like some sort of trophy or something? Do they keep all exes things in a box? 1
Sugarkane Posted May 31, 2012 Posted May 31, 2012 I'm sure that they get off on it- exes asking/ begging for their belongings back.
69ways Posted May 31, 2012 Posted May 31, 2012 I want to break my 2 week no contact to get my stuff. No I won't just let him have my stuff...and I don't want his either. Not sure if it is wise or not right now..fighting the urge right now. Left her my stuff, realised she was using it as a way to keep contact 1
LostInLimbo Posted May 31, 2012 Posted May 31, 2012 Can you ask a friend to go and pick it up? Is it stuff that is of significant value because sometimes it's best to just let it go and move on. I think thats th best option as well, so no confrontations LiL
Recommended Posts