chphan Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 So basically its been full week now. I made contact with someone on POF. Profiles say they only looking for friends and nothing more. No problem since I, myself, could use one since its summer and looking to get out and do something. Don't even know what they look like but its no biggy since I only expect friendship at best so they can be unattractive for all I care. And base on profile we have stuff in common. So far even though its been 1 week, communication seem to be a bit slow to a point. Person seem to be on each day about 1-2 times on POF. I have them on fav so it shows when they were last on. Could be they only on for a bit to check on new messages which seem to be the case if I had to make a guess. So far she made a reply back every 2 days as if on cue. Its a bit annoying to me because it tells me that they have time to check on new messages each day but not enough to put effort in replying back. Now the replies back seem like they are interested in getting together to do some outside stuff or at the least agreeing that we should get together and do stuff in the sun for fun as friends. The problem for me is that its kind of hard to set up time and day if the reply backs seem to take forever. By time we set something up, summer be over. I'm starting to get the feeling that action speak louder than words here and in this case, the lack of a quick response seem to show a bit of an actual disinterest here in getting together. For me if you really want to get together and do something in a sport activity for fun, wouldn't you want to reply back as soon as you can to set things up? Maybe they are busy or doing stuff with other friends or going on dates. If they are than its fine with me but at sametime I'll just move along and look for someone else to do stuff with during the summer or look for an actual dating partner. I don't want to waste my time trying to put an effort in setting a date and time to do something if they aren't really interested but just being polite to me. I don't want to be rude and try and rush them but at the sametime I want to bring this subject up to see if she really is interested in doing something. Not sure how to go about doing it. Should I give more time since 1 week may not be enough?
CarrieT Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 I went on 50 coffee/meet-and-greet dates in two-and-a-half years before finding "the one." In some cases, I would chat with a guy for a week or two before meeting. Other times, we met within a day or so of starting to chat. The biggest advice to online dating: Patience, patience, patience....
Author chphan Posted May 29, 2012 Author Posted May 29, 2012 Going to try. Just feels like she's not really interested or busying with other guys that I'm wasting my time even as a friend.
dasein Posted May 30, 2012 Posted May 30, 2012 Press for phone number early, in the second email after her first reply if possible. Ask for hers and give yours "if you are more comfortable calling me." If you have a professional web page, or are listed on a work web page, give her that in a matter of fact way, but don't offer lines like "In case you think I might be an axe murderer," just say "here's my webpage." Never FB, but webpage if you have on. I haven't used it, but linkedin would be acceptable here as well. Ask out during the first phone call to grab a drink in her area. If they decline, one more call. If she answers or returns it, ask out again. If she declines, move on. Have in your profile that you are interested in meeting and dating, not long email, IM or text exchanges. The good ones will like this, and by including it have always gotten the number fast. Good luck.
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