Sugarkane Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 From a previous relationship? I was always told that it's a disadvantage in the dating world. Maybe thats just my conservative patents view? I guess it also depends on age too. The older you are, the more people with kids. But if you were in your 20s how Many would?
Cracker Jack Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 I would. I don't think I'd want to date a woman with 3 or more kids, tho, since she'd probably not want anymore by that point, which wouldn't be cool if there's a real future there. I'd have no issue with 1 or 2 kids.
Art_Critic Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 When I was single.. I would and did many times, mostly in my 30's but some were in my 20's.. even dated women with as many as 4 kids, My first wife had a child from a previous marriage that I became her Step Father while we were married. Kids to me were never something to be considered as a deal breaker...
ivalm Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 I wouldn't... I guess it depends on age, late 20s I think you'll have more luck, early/mid 20s I think it's hard.
somedude81 Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 Not a chance. I have no desire to be around kids. The only exception is if future wife really wants them.
carhill Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 I did, but the most kids was two. A lot of young ladies in my area, back when I was that age, began having children in their late teens so it was pretty common. Very few of my 20's dates were childless, as were very few of my female friends of that era. I imagine that has changed markedly in the interceding generation. In my 20's, kids were a curiosity but I really came to enjoy them and the potential of fatherhood after 30.
bamp78 Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 I have never dated a woman with kids and I doubt I ever would. Instant dad, instant family, babysitters, dealing with the dad, visitation, etc. and something I am willing to consider / do. Since I don't have kids, since there are plenty of woman that don't either... It has never been a problem. Having said that, I have had several friends that did it and didn't mind / care. Ugg dealing with this right now and gibson is spot on. Instant dad, instant responsibilities, instant etc. Like the girl and we have fun but the kid is a central theme as expected and it gets tiring at times. The responsibility would be completely different if the child was mine but she isn't so this probably won't work out but that said I wouldn't shy away from trying again. The child is young so needs more attention...maybe someone with an older kid(s).
Author Sugarkane Posted May 29, 2012 Author Posted May 29, 2012 (edited) It's strange as I was always told it was a disadvantage. Now I feel like the odd one out as I don't have kids. Maybe my parents were wrong. Edited May 29, 2012 by Sugarkane iPhone error
somedude81 Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 It's strange as I was always told it was a disadvantage. Now I feel like the odd one out as I don't have kids. Maybe my parents were wrong. It may not be that big of a disadvantage, but it is certainly no advantage. I can't remember ever hearing about how some man wants to date a woman because she has kids.
Eddie Edirol Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 I wouldnt, but its because I hate kids. I dont know what my opinion of this would be if I actually wantd kids.
Citizen Erased Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 Most of the girls I went to school with that were knocked up before graduation do not seem to have a problem with getting guys. Holding onto them seems to be an issue. We are all pretty young though, 24. Hopefully that doesn't continue for them.
wwwjd Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 I would not. Too much baggage to form a relationship with, for me. I'm aware others readily make it work, but it's not for me. The ones that were interested wanted a father/provider MORE than they wanted >ME<, if you take my meaning. 1
Augustine Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 It's not something that I am particularly looking for, but I would consider it. I think that she would just have to be the right girl.
Author Sugarkane Posted May 29, 2012 Author Posted May 29, 2012 Most of the girls I went to school with that were knocked up before graduation do not seem to have a problem with getting guys. Holding onto them seems to be an issue. We are all pretty young though, 24. Hopefully that doesn't continue for them. Why was everyone pregnant before graduation? Didnt they want to party a bit?! My Parents are the complete opposite and always told me to put off having kids as long as possible.
ivalm Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 (edited) Why was everyone pregnant before graduation? Didnt they want to party a bit?! My Parents are the complete opposite and always told me to put off having kids as long as possible. I think if you want to be a professional in the US you should put off getting kids until 30s... think about it, you want to finish schooling (which may include grad/professional school) AND establish some foothold in your career... Not to mention it's important to make sure that the couple is bonded well enough to survive all the ups and downs so you don't end up with a single parent household. I think getting pregnant in teens/early 20s is irresponsible. Edited May 29, 2012 by ivalm
Author Sugarkane Posted May 29, 2012 Author Posted May 29, 2012 Yeah and then you get women complaining that they've left it too late, men only want younger women, can't get pregnant etc etc.
ScreamingTrees Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 To be honest, this would be one of the few things that I don't know if I'd be OK with if I was presented with such a scenario. It depends, I guess. 1
Professor X Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 I wouldn't. To much baggage that's not mine to carry.
ScreamingTrees Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 I wouldn't. To much baggage that's not mine to carry. I might be inclined to agree. And if I were to have kids with this person, it might make it harder for us to afford to have a fairly large family if she already has two kids from a previous marriage along with two or three kids with me.. I have virtually no family, so I'd personally love to ultimately have more than two kids someday, and wouldn't have a problem with working my ass off to support them..
Eclypse Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 21 years old here, and the answer is a firm no. All the usual reasons: too much baggage, not enough time for us due to kids being needy etc. There is niente in this world that would change my opinion until I was at least in my late 30s.
d'Arthez Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 Too many variables to give a clear answer. The most obvious: 1. Age of the woman involved 2. Number of kid(s), and their ages 3. Involvement of the father of the kids. Multiple fathers would definitely be a bridge too far for me I am open for it, but I think the reality is that a woman having no kids makes it a lot easier on the both of us.
Crusoe Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 I did when I was younger and through my 30's ended up basically raising a boy as my own, even though I wasn't with his mother for more than a few dates. She was a drinker, he never knew his father and I found I couldn't walk away from him. Turned out to be one of the best things I ever did. He's now 19 and off making his way in the world. Have absolutely no interest in dating a single mother again, though. 1
irc333 Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 Considering I'm 40, I have no other options, except to date women with kids....usually if they'r OLDER kids, like nearing adult hood or already at adulthood. I have met some women in their early 40's where they have kids that are legal adults, and I'm cool with that. Young kids, not so much probably. If I ever MEET a woman that's 40 something and has no kids, that'd definitely be a bonus.
kaylan Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 (edited) OP id say it depends on a guys age and his options. Most men will want to start their own family and not raise some other guys kids. At my age of 25, heres why I wouldnt date a woman with kids: a) Woman who are my age and have kids tend to have ended up with kids based on bad decisions they made in the past. Thats unattractive to me. This isnt all young women, but a great deal of them based on my experience. b) At my age I have options. If I was 35 id expect that most women my age already had kids, but im in my 20s, so theres plenty of single women without kids to date. c) I dont want to deal with ex drama. And because a woman has a child, the ex will always be in the picture unless hes deceased or a dead beat. I prefer to date women who dont speak with their exes. Ive seen the drama that causes..kids or no kids. d) Its easier to have a young and fun relationship with a childless woman. She doesnt have a serious responsibility to another human being. We can hang out more and do things on a whim...like go away for the weekend at a moments notice. e) I have to admit I havent been attracted to many women with kids because of what it does to their bodies. Pregnancy puts the female body through a lot and many women dont try to get their old figure back. So Ill be honest and say the idea of dating someones whos body went through the rigors of pregnancy is not an attractive prospect when I have other options. Again OP. This is from a 25 year olds perspective. So take it with a grain of salt. Itll be different with older guys or guys who arent as much concerned with the things I mentioned. Good luck. Edited May 29, 2012 by kaylan
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