First time posting but a BIG Thank you

[AussieDad]

Hi Everyone , I have been lurking on these forums for a while now and decided it was time to post. First up a BIG thank you to the regular posters on this forum , you made my ordeal alot easier to handle.

 

My Bio :

 

Married 13 years , been togther 17. I am 40 and STXW is 36 , 3 Kids All girls 13, 12 and 9 .

 

I will give you the abridged version as it would take me forever to fill in all the details

 

Wife left 3 months ago and we have a agreement on 50/50 share of the kids. Currently getting the house ready for sale to finalise the money situation which also will be 50/50 share.

 

History:

 

STXW had a affair 9 years ago when we lived in Victoria, Australia. I took some responsablity for this occurring as I was addicted to a online game and neglecting my duties as a father and husband. When this was bought to my attention I promptly stopped playing and worked on rebuilding what I had damaged. My wife only informed me of the affair after moving from Victoria to North Queensland and after having a D&M with my brother. I forgave her for the affair and everything seemed better in the marriage ( well thats what I thought )

 

 

For the next 6 years we had normal up and downs with bringing up kids and financial commitments. I should mention here that my STXW has been a dope smoker from early teenage years to present. ( I am no angel either but have never lost a job , committed a crime etc ). What i do realise now is that the dope usage had masked my wife's depression ( Bi Polar ) which had gotten worse over the last 6 - 12 months. It was this decline in her mental health that caused me to make her make a descision about what she wanted from our family life , she chose to leave. It was during this time that I found Loveshack and learnt a great many things which helped me cope.

 

Since the separation begun , her web of lies has slowly untangled and I now have learnt that the women I once loved has been decieving me , family and friends for many years. I have now found out she has had 5 affairs over the last 9 years.

 

I have kept it amicable for the kids sake and also until all the logistics are dealt with but I am in a great place after taking the advice of plenty of LS posters. I have lost 23 kgs and feeling amazing. Family and friends have rallied around me for support including a great deal of my wife friends ( which I have known for 17 years ) . Spending plenty of time with the kids which has been great for me and them.

 

I am a true believer of don't burn your bridges and it is times like this is when that proves true . My boss has been great in letting me change my hours to suit picking the kids up from school and even clients of mine supporting me.

 

There is alot more to the story ( there always is ) but at the end of the day , after 3 months now I have learnt that Myself and kids will be far better off emotionally and finiancially with out her. I will say that she has always been a great Mother but like many other stories on here now that she is single , she is partying and hooking up but the kids have already mentioned that they see the changes in Mum , I'm sure that will sort it self out in due course.

 

Anyway once again a big thank you to everyone for the advice you have given to other posters . I hear regularly that people can't believe how well I took everything due this time and I always mention this forum if anyone need advices.

 

I will continue to come here but hopefully I can now help others .

 

All the Best

 

Regards

 

AussieDad

[AussieDad]

I forgot to mention

 

Special Thanks to :

2sunny

Steadfast

robf1971

Owl

Gunny

dreamoftigers

and Standtall

 

 

There are plenty more but I think i read too many posts over the last 6 months to rememeber you all

[standtall]

Wow aussie....sorry to hear about the pain in your marriage. I am sure you are right, and that you and your daughters will end of better in the long run being on your own. On a lighter note, it sounds like you have taken control and done well since. I liked your words of wisdom

 

 

I am a true believer of don't burn your bridges and it is times like this is when that proves true

 

which is so very true in all facets of life. I have never read it here, and I try to utilize it all the time when it comes to sports teams with my children. I'm glad it is paying off for you.

[AussieDad]

Thanks Standtall , Yes it has done me well over the years.

 

I'm surprised how well the advice here worked so effectively but I suppose a lot of the stories here, check a lot of the same boxes when the stories come out.

[2.50 a gallon]

Trust me it will get better

 

Age 40. You still have a lot of living and loving to do, when you find somebody new

[robf1971]

Thanks for the thanks, if that makes sense:)

 

Good to see you take control of your life!!