Bucky Badger Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 First of all, I am back home from my first year of college at a public university. Since I have been back, I have been hanging with some of my old high school friends. Our group of friends are together constantly, and I have grown closer to them, and am the closest with them now than I ever was in HS. Within our group of friends, there is this girl (of course) and her name is, let's say, Sarah. Sarah just got back from school about a week and half ago and she has hung out with us in our group for a few nights now. Sarah's two best friends, Mary and Jackie, are part of this close group of friends I am constantly hanging out with. Since Sarah has returned home and has been with our group, my interest in her (as more than a friend) has increased. I liked Sarah through most of HS and really never had the guts to say anything because we were never really that close. When I went to college, I just put it out of my mind and did my own thing. However, we talk a little more now and I feel that I should at least say something to her before it really is too late. Everyone in my friend group sees the "funny" and "goofy" side of me, but few really get to see the serious, sentimental side. I feel that with a chance, I would really be able to take care of and make Sarah happy. My question; should I tell Sarah that I like her? I was also thinking of telling her best friend. I know that telling her best friend will spill out to Sarah, but I feel I can trust our mutual friends. Thanks!!
sweet_roxanne Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 Tell her or just ask her out on a date sometime. Nothing is worse than wondering "what if". Sure, you risk rejection, which stings a little, but it's nothing you can't bounce back from.
Balzac Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 Ask her for a solo date. Try that it's a decent start.
dasein Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 Never make such declarations at this stage. Keep things light, fun and flirty. Show by asking her out to do things alone that you like her. If she is attracted to you, and not otherwise involved, she will accept your date invitations enthusiastically without lots of noise or qualifiers. She will make things easy for you if she likes you. Then, once dating, she will be receptive to your polite physical advances, again without lots of noise and excuses. As long as she continues to accept dates and physical advances enthusiastically, and most importantly, as long as you feel she is worth your time, keep giving her attention in those two ways. 1. Asking out away from the other group. 2. Making respectful physical advances. Not lots of texting, phone talking, FBing, just ask out and show physical interest. Keep this up, and if she continues to be interested, she will let you know very clearly when she wants exclusivity. Always steer away from soulful, heavy, relationship and feelings type conversations with women you don't know well. Resist any desires to declare anything at all to her. And to reemphasize, get her away from this larger group when you spend time together. If she is hesitant to spend time with you one on one, she isn't interested and move on. Good luck.
Author Bucky Badger Posted May 28, 2012 Author Posted May 28, 2012 Diseia, Whenever we hang out, we are always in a group. I don't know how to get her alone so we could try to hang out. Any suggestions as to how to do this? I feel that it could arise to the group that I am interested . . .
dasein Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 Well, it's going to arise to the group that you are interested, get used to that (it's nbd really, only the wannabes will fault you or make fun for that), and then it becomes a matter of group dynamics as to whether there is flak or noise from the group. There's nothing you can do about this other than get her number, call her, and come up with ideas of fun that the rest of the group can't be pulled into. If she is interested in you, she will make this easy if she is quality. If she isn't interested, she will make excuses or out and out tell you so. So really, to get your answer, you have to put the question to her directly by asking her to go out with you alone. The longer you hang out in the group, the more noise you will have to overcome in splitting it off. I have been where you are many, many times, and looking back, have never regretted being assertive in getting a girl separated out of the pack, only regretted going with the flow and watching some more assertive guy come in and do what I dragged my heels about and lost out.
bamp78 Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 Flirt with the girl while out with friends if she flirts back you're in for at least a date if she doesn't flirt back you're out. Don't talk about feelings she will just find you weird.
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