robaday Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 This is the first time Ive ever asked an ex not to contact me anymore. Im not sure if its weak on my part, but I was getting immense mixed signals from her. She said she was confused. It was clear she missed me badly, and from her messages was still very much attracted to me (flirting, sexual references). But after talking for close to two months after the breakup, I asked her to meet and she freaked out. So Ive said I cant be just friends with her, and to stop contacting me so I can move on. Is this passive aggresive? She wont meet me in person so I figued thats a strong sign shes not able to see me yet and I cant really be there for her anymore. I figure theres nothing in this continual texting for me. My last text was that I care about her a lot, miss her and would love to have met to talk in person, but now I need to move on". Too soon? I figure 2 months of back and forward is enough.
Gulf-Delta Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 This is the first time Ive ever asked an ex not to contact me anymore. Im not sure if its weak on my part, but I was getting immense mixed signals from her. She said she was confused. It was clear she missed me badly, and from her messages was still very much attracted to me (flirting, sexual references). But after talking for close to two months after the breakup, I asked her to meet and she freaked out. So Ive said I cant be just friends with her, and to stop contacting me so I can move on. Is this passive aggresive? She wont meet me in person so I figued thats a strong sign shes not able to see me yet and I cant really be there for her anymore. I figure theres nothing in this continual texting for me. My last text was that I care about her a lot, miss her and would love to have met to talk in person, but now I need to move on". Too soon? I figure 2 months of back and forward is enough. Well dude, here's how I feel about your situation, as mine is somewhat similar. My ex also came around for quite sometime after the breakup. We were still pretty close. Eating meals together, going out with mutual friends together, even sharing a bed a couple times (no sex). Eventually I got fed up because I wanted more...so I went NC. The NC pushed her away big time, because by the time I broke NC, she was dating someone else, and pretty much wants nothing to do with me. She says I'm not being replaced, wants to be friends, etc. But her actions speak louder than her words. I invited her over just to catchup, and she said it'd be weird and it wouldn't be right to her new bf. What this says to me, is she still wants/misses me in some aspects...otherwise she'd have no problem with meeting a friend... I guess what I'm trying to say is, she may only be talking to you to ease her own pain until she can find some guy to be her tampon.
Author robaday Posted May 28, 2012 Author Posted May 28, 2012 That pretty much sums it up. She said she was scared if she met up with me we would have sex, when I didnt even indicate that thats what i wanted-i asked to go for a coffee. She says that she cant cut people out of her life. And I told her, her behavior was selfish - if shes not ready to be friends she shouldnt be contacting me for her sake. If she isnt willing to meet for a coffee then she shouldnt be bombarding me with texts and calls. I just said I have no idea what you want from me anymore but I need to start moving on properly and looking at other options. Strange thing is, I didnt really want her back - I was in mixed minds myself. I just thought if were both missing each other, both still love each other after two months - we should probably meet and talk face to face.
EgoJoe Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 Man up and tell her to kick rocks. She is not your problem anymore and that was her choice. There is no double-cake action to be had.
Gulf-Delta Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 That pretty much sums it up. She said she was scared if she met up with me we would have sex, when I didnt even indicate that thats what i wanted-i asked to go for a coffee. She says that she cant cut people out of her life. And I told her, her behavior was selfish - if shes not ready to be friends she shouldnt be contacting me for her sake. If she isnt willing to meet for a coffee then she shouldnt be bombarding me with texts and calls. I just said I have no idea what you want from me anymore but I need to start moving on properly and looking at other options. Strange thing is, I didnt really want her back - I was in mixed minds myself. I just thought if were both missing each other, both still love each other after two months - we should probably meet and talk face to face. My ex wasn't the one bombarding me with calls or texts. But after a few weeks of NC, I thought "ok, I'm over the hurt, I can accept JUST friendship again" So I began texting her throughout the week. Casual stuff about work, and her family (I miss her family a lot), and finally I told her she should come over and just hang out to catch up just as friends, and she said "With just me? That's be kinda weird." ME: I don't understand your hangup about hanging out casually. HER: I think it's really nice! I just wouldn't feel comfortable doing that because I'm dating someone ME: WTF? I didn't say I wanted a date, I was inviting you over as a friend She maintains it'd be weird...so we got into an argument and I haven't talked to her since. She never said it was because she was afraid we'd have sex, but as soon as she declined my invitation I could see right through her motivation for declining it.
Author robaday Posted May 29, 2012 Author Posted May 29, 2012 Strange thing is she invited me round for a booty call the previous week......I declined.........
Gulf-Delta Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 Strange thing is she invited me round for a booty call the previous week......I declined......... Well good for you...I'm not sure I'd have the strength to turn that down if my ex did that lol
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