dt1975 Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 Hi there, i'm in my late 30's and i've been engaged for 3 months with a 55 yo guy who said that he really wanted to have children. We had (what seemed to me at least!) a passionate and affectionate relationship for a total of 6 months. We were actively trying to get pregnant and had a miscarriage. We arranged to get married in late June and visit a fertility clinic in July. A few weeks ago, i started noticing gradual changes in his behavior. He was not particularly energetic and affectionate. I thought that he had stress because he was going through a career transition and was preparing for job interviews. Then he started asking me a lot of questions about my job and my career. I felt that I was being interrogated. Then, he had an important job interview scheduled last thursday. He didn't want to spend the night with me the night before. I texted him thursday morning wishing him good luck and reassuring him that if he has any issues about my job and financial status, I will discuss everything with him. He went silent that entire day. Then on Friday, he came to my place and broke up with me. He looked angry and practically implied that I am not good enough for him!! I was shocked and speechless. He emailed me a couple of days later, that he was sorry that he left my place like that, and that he was willing to give me explanations and we could still be friends. I replied practically saying that it is not realistic to be friends at this point, may be at a much later time, and that I need to move on. I am still thinking about him, but he didn't give me any hope that he would return! Anything that i could have done differently? Anything I can do now? Thanks!!
Radu Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 Done differently ... it was not your doing [unless you don't want to give more details on yours and his financial situations]. What you can do now ... move on, he sounds like a guy with baggage. I don't think your finances was what made him bolt, he just used that as an excuse and it's pretty pathetic for a 55yr old man to need such an excuse to 'man up'. I hope you find a better guy. PS: If you want kids, why not collect and freeze some eggs for a later date if you feel time is pressing you ?
Author dt1975 Posted May 28, 2012 Author Posted May 28, 2012 Radu, thanks for your advice, it makes great sense.
blotter Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 Is it just me or is six months a little fast to be trying to get pregnant. I've been dating my present girlfriend for 8 months and I still feel like I don't know her enough to want to talk about marriage much less about kids. To each their own I guess.
Balzac Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 Aging eggs is all I can conclude. Seems very soon in my mind.
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