Girls purposely doing gross things and smelling bad

May 28, 2012

Do girls purposely start behaving in a gross way when they are unhappy in a relationship and/or romantic daliance in order to push guys away? I'm wondering about this because, even as a guy, I would never do this. No matter what, I always like to be clean and smell good for my girl, and even if we were going to break up I would still want her to remember me that way. However, in a couple of cases I have had girls become smelly, and engage in gross behavior, when the relationship wasn't going well. Here are my examples:

In one instance, I had a summer fling with a girl that eventually started to cool off. At that point, she started picking her toenails in front of me, and started leaving her hair unkempt and slightly smelly when we hang out, etc.

In another instance, I was dating this girl for about a year, and we were boyfriend and girlfriend and the relationship was going great for most of that time. Towards the end of the year, we started having problems... As we both started discussing what we would like differently in the relationship, and struggling to find common ground, she started letting herself go. For example, she would stop showering before I come over, even after she'd gone to the gym and gotten all sticky. She would also start farting in bed when we are together and thinking nothing of it. Her room would smell bad when I would come over, sometimes of farts and some other times of other stuff that I can't really place. And so on.

Needless to say, in both cases this behavior made it much harder for me to salvage the relationship, or want to. So, girls, how would you interpret/explain this behavior?

Edited May 28, 2012 by boytoy

May 28, 2012

Are you being serious or is this some kind of troll?

Girls poop too. Did you know that?

May 28, 2012

Are you being serious or is this some kind of troll?

Girls poop too. Did you know that?

I am being completely serious, and I have no idea why you are interpreting my question as a troll. Everyone poops, but not everyone makes their partner smell it. Personally, I avoid farting in front of a significant other whenever possible, and always make sure they don't catch me smelling bad. Most girls I've been with do this as well, at least while the relationship is going well.

May 28, 2012

I like my girls a little dirty sometimes...

May 28, 2012

I am being completely serious, and I have no idea why you are interpreting my question as a troll. Everyone poops, but not everyone makes their partner smell it. Personally, I avoid farting in front of a significant other whenever possible, and always make sure they don't catch me smelling bad. Most girls I've been with do this as well, at least while the relationship is going well.

How old are you?

she started picking her toenails in front of me, and started leaving her hair unkempt and slightly smelly when we hang out

That seriously bothered you? I don't know how you expect to ever live with someone. What happens when you have sex and she starts sweating? Do you make her take a shower?

I don't think the problem is with the women. I think the question you should be asking is why normal human functions bother you so much.

May 28, 2012

How old are you?

That seriously bothered you? I don't know how you expect to ever live with someone. What happens when you have sex and she starts sweating? Do you make her take a shower?

I don't think the problem is with the women. I think the question you should be asking is why normal human functions bother you so much.

Look, I believe in being clean and sexy for my partner. Its a sign of devotion. At least until we live together, in which case I will surely relax about it.

In any case, you miss the point of the question. In both cases I mentioned, there was a sudden change when the women started farting, not showering, and smelling questionable. I'm just trying to understand why this sudden change occurred, and what it means about their motivations.

May 28, 2012

Look, I believe in being clean and sexy for my partner. Its a sign of devotion. At least until we live together, in which case I will surely relax about it.

In any case, you miss the point of the question. In both cases I mentioned, there was a sudden change when the women started farting, not showering, and smelling questionable. I'm just trying to understand why this sudden change occurred, and what it means about their motivations.

Sounds like you already know the answer...when they no longer adhere to your standards, does it matter their motivations any more? You don't like it, so forfeit the relationship.

May 28, 2012

Do girls purposely start behaving in a gross way when they are unhappy in a relationship and/or romantic daliance in order to push guys away? I'm wondering about this because, even as a guy, I would never do this. No matter what, I always like to be clean and smell good for my girl, and even if we were going to break up I would still want her to remember me that way. However, in a couple of cases I have had girls become smelly, and engage in gross behavior, when the relationship wasn't going well. Here are my examples:

In one instance, I had a summer fling with a girl that eventually started to cool off. At that point, she started picking her toenails in front of me, and started leaving her hair unkempt and slightly smelly when we hang out, etc.

In another instance, I was dating this girl for about a year, and we were boyfriend and girlfriend and the relationship was going great for most of that time. Towards the end of the year, we started having problems... As we both started discussing what we would like differently in the relationship, and struggling to find common ground, she started letting herself go. For example, she would stop showering before I come over, even after she'd gone to the gym and gotten all sticky. She would also start farting in bed when we are together and thinking nothing of it. Her room would smell bad when I would come over, sometimes of farts and some other times of other stuff that I can't really place. And so on.

Needless to say, in both cases this behavior made it much harder for me to salvage the relationship, or want to. So, girls, how would you interpret/explain this behavior?

More like the girl(s) got more comfortable with you and felt like they didn't need to primp themselves up for you each time, especially the long term relationship one.. People shouldn't always have to be 'on' just for another person.

Trust me, there are other ways a girl will let you know if she isn't into you anymore, being a bit lazy in showering or farting isn't one of them. Infact, some guys actually think their gf's farting is funny and join in with them.

May 28, 2012

Look, I believe in being clean and sexy for my partner. Its a sign of devotion. At least until we live together, in which case I will surely relax about it.

In any case, you miss the point of the question. In both cases I mentioned, there was a sudden change when the women started farting, not showering, and smelling questionable. I'm just trying to understand why this sudden change occurred, and what it means about their motivations.

you could just ask her not to fart around you. You could ask to her please shower after going to the gym, make more effort. Communicate your desires to her and also be open for her to tell you what she needs/expects from you.

May 28, 2012

So, girls, how would you interpret/explain this behavior?

I would interpret it as just plain freaking nasty.

No, I would never do that stuff even if I were no longer happy in a relationship.

I like to be clean. I make sure I'm freshly-showered and freshly-teeth-brushed even when I'm just going to be arounds acquaintances and friends; certainly I'm ultra mindful about it with a person I actually kiss and cuddle with.

I don't know why those girls were doing that. Some people just do get that comfortable and have the philosophy that love and emotions should transcend all things physical and all aspects of physicality. I don't think so, myself.

A friend of mine, who's overweight but still fairly pretty, used to say she didn't want a guy to want her to lose any weight because she wanted a guy to l like her for her. I get that. And I understand it. And I even sort of agree with it. But one has to be realistic...physical appearance is a part of attraction for most people. You do have rare folks who are almost 100% about what's on the inside. But I think 90% of people are more split between what's on the inside and what's on the outside (which includes upkeep of the self / hygiene / grooming). I would never be looking for that rare guy who doesn't give a darn about anything outside-oriented, but is 100% about me being a warm, nice person.

As a matter of fact, I prefer a guy who likes me at least 30-40% for my looks because I can't guarantee my inner self is always going to please.

May 28, 2012

More like the girl(s) got more comfortable with you and felt like they didn't need to primp themselves up for you each time, especially the long term relationship one.. People shouldn't always have to be 'on' just for another person.

Trust me, there are other ways a girl will let you know if she isn't into you anymore, being a bit lazy in showering or farting isn't one of them. Infact, some guys actually think their gf's farting is funny and join in with them.

Yup, allathis.

May 28, 2012

You folks are hilarious. I hope you never go camping with your significant other. Heartbreak all around! "OMG SHE SMELLED SO BADDDDDDDDDDDDDDD" :laugh:

If you think your partner's natural body odor smells bad... I've got some news. You're in love with a fake. That's the real her. Not the perfume or shampoo or lotion she uses, or the make up or clothes she wears.

Edited May 28, 2012 by wordrock

May 28, 2012

You folks are hilarious. I hope you never go camping with your significant other. Heartbreak all around! "OMG SHE SMELLED SO BADDDDDDDDDDDDDDD" :laugh:

If you think your partner's natural body odor smells bad... I've got some news. You're in love with a fake. That's the real her. Not the perfume or shampoo or lotion she uses, or the make up or clothes she wears.

Look, you are missing the point. If we go camping and she smells sweaty, that's fine because she can't help that. If, however, she starts farting in your face and picking her toes and/or nose in your face then it starts sending a signal, along the lines of "I take you for granted, and I'm not going to try to be the least bit sexy for you when we hang out." If a girl starts doing that a few months into a relationship, what wonders am I in for if I get married to this person? Will she get fat, stop cleaning her vagina, stop washing her hair, and grow a mustache?

Another possibility, which is what I alluded to before, is that this behavior when done to excess is passive aggressive signalling that she wants out of the relationship. I still suspect this is the case, though none of the female posters here have seconded this hypothesis...

May 28, 2012

If you can't deal with being in a relationship with a person and all the natural smells/body functions of a person before marriage, I don't know why you think you will be okay with them after marriage.

May 28, 2012

Funny how the women who do not do this are then harshly labeled as prissy and high maintenance.

May 28, 2012

Look, you are missing the point.

If a girl starts doing that a few months into a relationship, what wonders am I in for if I get married to this person? Will she get fat, stop cleaning her vagina, stop washing her hair, and grow a mustache?

I am not missing your "point". You want an answer? Yes she will do all of those things. Every woman will. The truth is that you are very immature and it shows. Have you ever had a relationship last longer than year? That's a rhetorical question.

Again, instead of playing pop psychologist, I think the question you should be asking is why normal human functions bother you so much. I think with deep introspection, you will find that you are being superficial. I hope you discover this now and not when you're 45, single, and no longer attractive and have to resort to attracting gold diggers to get any kind of attention.

May 28, 2012

I am not missing your "point". You want an answer? Yes she will do all of those things. Every woman will. The truth is that you are very immature and it shows. Have you ever had a relationship last longer than year? That's a rhetorical question.

Again, instead of playing pop psychologist, I think the question you should be asking is why normal human functions bother you so much. I think with deep introspection, you will find that you are being superficial. I hope you discover this now and not when you're 45, single, and no longer attractive and have to resort to attracting gold diggers to get any kind of attention.

Not all women do this.

May 28, 2012

You folks are hilarious. I hope you never go camping with your significant other. Heartbreak all around! "OMG SHE SMELLED SO BADDDDDDDDDDDDDDD" :laugh:

If you think your partner's natural body odor smells bad... I've got some news. You're in love with a fake. That's the real her. Not the perfume or shampoo or lotion she uses, or the make up or clothes she wears.

I think it's pretty natural for people to find stale sweat, bad breath, etc to be unpleasant.

Also, I never knew people fell in love with others because of their clean smell or what perfume they wear.

May 28, 2012

I am not missing your "point". You want an answer? Yes she will do all of those things. Every woman will. The truth is that you are very immature and it shows. Have you ever had a relationship last longer than year? That's a rhetorical question.

Again, instead of playing pop psychologist, I think the question you should be asking is why normal human functions bother you so much. I think with deep introspection, you will find that you are being superficial. I hope you discover this now and not when you're 45, single, and no longer attractive and have to resort to attracting gold diggers to get any kind of attention.

Thank you for setting me straight. I naievely thought that I could hope to one day find a girl who will take care of her appearance and smell for me, and I for her. But maybe you are right, and that is asking too much. Maybe the only choice a man has is either to spend his life with someone who looks like supermario and smells like old farts, or die alone. If those truly are the choices, I'm not sure which is better.

May 28, 2012

Did she pull the ol' "Dutch Oven" in bed with you, meaning she'd fart, and pull the sheets over your heads so you'd be in a contained area for a period of time, or until you busted out of the sheets? lol

May 28, 2012

Thank you for setting me straight. I naievely thought that I could hope to one day find a girl who will take care of her appearance and smell for me, and I for her. But maybe you are right, and that is asking too much. Maybe the only choice a man has is either to spend his life with someone who looks like supermario and smells like old farts, or die alone. If those truly are the choices, I'm not sure which is better.

I think what people are saying is this.

Of course your Wife or long term GF is going to take care of her personal appearance smell and odor, BUT expecting them to smell nice and look good all the time is unrealistic. In particular, no human being can be as "on" as they are at the start of a relationship.

Family life is a symphony of odors, sights and smells that is just like it was when you were a kid. Did your family always smell fresh and look beautiful from the second they woke up? No. Mama had to shave her armpits and daddy had to shave his back. Everyone poops, especially the eventual babies.

This is one image where TV showed us all what real married life is like.

http://www.malcolminthemiddle.co.uk/gallery/data/502/Malcolm_In_The_Middle001.jpg

To most people the search for a SO is, in the end, a search for someone they are attracted to and who will love them enough to do that kind of thing without judgement or loving them less.

May 31, 2012

OP, women stink just as much as men. Fact. So you need to get used to it.

However, don't ever get with a chick that is not big on proper hygiene. Women carry around more bacteria than men: yeast infections, vaginal bleeding, vaginal crust, bacteria underneath their tits, etc. They also have more chemicals on them that needs to be scrubbed off: makeup and hairspray. A woman should shower twice a day. A good shower in the morning. And a quick shower at night. This is especially necessary during the summertime or when it's rainy.

So many people have terrible hygiene. I shower twice a day and think nothing of it. But so many people have something against it it's disgusting. Some of my exes were against bathing twice a day and sometimes acted like it was no big deal if they didn't shower for one or two days. Big no-no. I'm with my current chick who showers twice a day like me. This is especially necessary in Texas, where it can be over 100 degrees for 3 months straight.

May 31, 2012

Purposely doing gross things? Probably not, however, familiarity breeds contempt.

May 31, 2012

I would interpret it as just plain freaking nasty.

No, I would never do that stuff even if I were no longer happy in a relationship.

I like to be clean. I make sure I'm freshly-showered and freshly-teeth-brushed even when I'm just going to be arounds acquaintances and friends; certainly I'm ultra mindful about it with a person I actually kiss and cuddle with.

I agree with this post. If I work out and come home to an empty house knowing I will not see anyone for the entire night, I still shower. I can't stand being sweaty or smelling bad.

And I have never used grossness to get out of a relationship, or even gotten comfortable enough around SOs to be gross. I do see some other women comfortable enough to do things like clip toenails or pee in front of their husbands, but not me. There are some things I like to keep to myself so I can try to keep the illusion of sexiness alive.

May 31, 2012

I get what the OP is saying. She took a lot of care in grooming and cleanliness, then suddenly changed her regular behavior.

It is possible that it is just what everyone else said - she feels comfortable around you now, so feels that she can fart and pick her toenails without worrying about what you think about it.

OR...

Sure. It could be "If I smell bad, he won't want to sleep with me. If I pick my toes, he'll stay on the other end of the couch and leave me alone." I admit that sure, that could happen.

How do you know? Well - how is she acting toward you other than smelling badly? Is she still kissing you? Wanting sex? Cuddling? Smiling at you? Saying "I love you"? In other words, other than the hygiene change, do you notice anything else different about the way she is acting toward you?

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Girls purposely doing gross things and smelling bad

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