mauws Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 I like this guy who was helping me out on a project I got a vibe that he was interested in me, some casual flirting, he would say that he should take me out for a drink but would then never follow though. Since i am pretty shy around guys, i had trouble flirting back but we really clicked. It has been a week since our project ended so i have not seen him. I got the courage today to ask him meet up for a drink, but he said that he was going to be out of town so his week was short with not much free time, i said to let me know if he wanted to meet another time. Guys,girls does this mean anything, was he really just busy cause he went into detail about his week, should i think that he will be in contact or just a polite diss???
bamp78 Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 Not sure how this is guy speak but general rule of thumb if someone is interested in you and can't meet at the suggested time they will offer an alternative to meet. And if they don't than their loss move on.
mortensorchid Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 I'm afraid this is a polite diss. I've been with people in situations who say "let's get together again" for dinner or drinks or something, and that date never comes to fruition. You might argue "he's shy", which you did say in the story, but if it was something that he truly wanted and wished for, he would ask you and set a date for it and stick to it. Sometimes when I have taken the initiative and asked that person "Are you free on (date)? Maybe we can get together then." They find some excuse why they can't or forget about it whether it's business or personal. Remember that the world is full of people who will not show up, will be chronically late, not follow through, etc. in all aspects of their lives. These people are LOSERS who will never get ANYTHING they want in life because they are not willing to work for it. 1
musemaj11 Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 You already initiated and put the ball in his court. Dont do anymore. If the interest is mutual, he will reciprocate.
insertnamehere Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 I think this sounds like two awkward penguins not quite connecting. I think he enjoys the flirting but is a bit tepid about actually going out. I'd be curious to know his dating history. Could be a socially awkward. Could be some self-doubt there. If you can avoid being overly invested, I'd give it another try before ruling it. I'd make a point of saying something like, "You know your idea about going out sometime? We're gonna do that." Sometimes keeping the idea on someone else works well. Plus, a more direct, clear statement of positive action -- "we're gonna do that" -- works better than asking. Just put it out there that it's going down. Socially awkward people sometimes are afraid of their own feelings and end up backing off once they get a positive response. I've been that guy. And sometimes we're leaching off the positive feedback while not risking anything. In my experience, with socially awkward people, it's better to just spell it out and see where it goes. He may frighten off completely. But, there's not much else you can do.
Author mauws Posted May 28, 2012 Author Posted May 28, 2012 Yeah, i figured it was a polite diss, he put a confused face at the end of the msg so i was hoping against hope that maybe this was the truth. I guess that i should act normal the next time i see him, but why even bother flirting, leading me on....just hurts when u like them.
Author mauws Posted May 28, 2012 Author Posted May 28, 2012 Thanks insertyourname, he is younger so maybe that plays a part. I left it up to him with my reply and i dont have the guts to follow up again,took me a whole week to get the courage to ask him out. I do know that he was not lying about his trip. If a guy wouldnt want to see you , would they use that for the excuse or just plain reject the girl? Does the fact that he didnt suggest another time for the drink telling? I am confused but guess that there is nothing more i can do.
USMCHokie Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 I agree with the masses. Your invitation was "fire and forget"...and unfortunately, I think it'll be leaning towards forget...
USMCHokie Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 If a guy wouldnt want to see you , would they use that for the excuse or just plain reject the girl? It's a technique called avoidance. He gets away without the awkwardness that he'd feel rejecting a girl the "right" way... Does the fact that he didnt suggest another time for the drink telling? Yes. He's either a giant p*ssy or not interested.
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