Hereiam007 Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 It is ok to love him, but to be in love with him. I don't know it is there. Just pickup a new hobby. Face your emptiness and u will change. Just don't think u are the one to save him and change him. My ex was exactly like you. She would not give up. She had to many children for me. I knew I could not be first in her life. There were red flags. He may see some red flags in the relationship that makes it hard for him to bring up. He loves u but it just won't work because of unresolved issues.
Author dsw31 Posted May 26, 2012 Author Posted May 26, 2012 I really want to go watch this fight with him tonight. I'm so tempted to tell him I'm coming over.Talk me out of this guys! Please!
Art_Critic Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 I'm so tempted to tell him I'm coming over.Talk me out of this guys! Please! Oh come on.. stop it... stop the contact... You are the one that mentioned he has BPD and mania and cheats.. why would you want to be with someone who cheats.. Show some self respect.
Author dsw31 Posted May 27, 2012 Author Posted May 27, 2012 Oh come on.. stop it... stop the contact... You are the one that mentioned he has BPD and mania and cheats.. why would you want to be with someone who cheats.. Show some self respect. I know...I know I have issues too-that's why we mesh so well.It's hard!
Hereiam007 Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 Just go over there and see what happens. U deserve it.
Art_Critic Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 Just go over there and see what happens. U deserve it. Why does she deserve it ? She is going to get hurt more..
Author dsw31 Posted May 27, 2012 Author Posted May 27, 2012 Just go over there and see what happens. U deserve it. Oh sh*t! Don't encourage me! I have no self control! Art Critic is right...it's only going to hurt me more. Plus-I haven't had sex in a long time...going to turn out bad Thanks Art Critic. I hope I can control myself.Fight starts in an hour & a half 1
Hereiam007 Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 She would suffer more if she doesn't. She will just come out stronger. She can grow from this. I would say don't go if I have knowledge she is endanger of physical violence. I also like happy endings.
Author dsw31 Posted May 27, 2012 Author Posted May 27, 2012 She would suffer more if she doesn't. She will just come out stronger. She can grow from this. I would say don't go if I have knowledge she is endanger of physical violence. I also like happy endings. I would rather get beat than endure this emotional pain. I know I can go see him anyday.I'm just yearning for him so much tonight!
Hereiam007 Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 Is he an abuser? Go there then leave after a few rounds. U can call him instead of texting him. Words and meaning gets losts in translation. Anyway, why r interested in this person?
Author dsw31 Posted May 27, 2012 Author Posted May 27, 2012 Is he an abuser? Go there then leave after a few rounds. U can call him instead of texting him. Words and meaning gets losts in translation. Anyway, why r interested in this person? He has never layed a hand on me but he is very emotionally abusive.I am interested in him because he is my soul mate. I won't go tonight because I know it's not a good idea.I just hope I can keep myself away from him next time that I feel this way.I dreamed about him last night for the first time since we broke up.I dreamt that we held hands & ran away from a pink tornado.I think that's why I'm really missing him bad today
confused2385 Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 I'm in a very bad place right now, but reading all of this sounds like an extremely volatile relationship that is not good for either of you. It's hard right now, your heart and mind want one thing. I don't know you, but I do know that no one deserves that kind of stress and pain. Make your own decision, but own it. Go see him (don't recommend) go out with girlfriends or stay in and talk to your dog, but do what you want and do something to empower yourself right now. You have the answer inside of you, but you are pushing it around to either ignore it, be oblivious or are just wanting companionship. Believe in yourself! 1
Hereiam007 Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 (edited) Well, this is your decision. I still believe u two need to talk it through. Call a girl friend and talk it out. Edited May 27, 2012 by Hereiam007
Author dsw31 Posted May 27, 2012 Author Posted May 27, 2012 I'm in a very bad place right now, but reading all of this sounds like an extremely volatile relationship that is not good for either of you. It's hard right now, your heart and mind want one thing. I don't know you, but I do know that no one deserves that kind of stress and pain. Make your own decision, but own it. Go see him (don't recommend) go out with girlfriends or stay in and talk to your dog, but do what you want and do something to empower yourself right now. You have the answer inside of you, but you are pushing it around to either ignore it, be oblivious or are just wanting companionship. Believe in yourself! You're right Confused...it is a very volatile relationship! My ex & I both know that.He was just stronger than I am.He knew it was unhealthy & that's why he's sticking to his guns.I just miss him soooooooo much!
Hereiam007 Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 My girlfriend wouldn't move on. So, I helped her. I changed my number. She found me. I changed it again. She got hurt again during this time, she found another person who she was sexting with. She is free from me, and I am free to move on. I just feel guilty because I don't feel hurt as she did.
Author dsw31 Posted May 27, 2012 Author Posted May 27, 2012 Well, this is your decision. I still believe u two need to talk it through. Call a girl friend and talk it out. It's not really my decision...I just know it's the only way. There's not much for my ex & I to discuss (we've pretty much talked about everything & I don't think he's willing to do what needs to be done to get back together) I would call my girl friends but they are all tired of it.That's why I'm so glad I found this place!
Author dsw31 Posted May 27, 2012 Author Posted May 27, 2012 My girlfriend wouldn't move on. So, I helped her. I changed my number. She found me. I changed it again. She got hurt again during this time, she found another person who she was sexting with. She is free from me, and I am free to move on. I just feel guilty because I don't feel hurt as she did. I think my ex feels guilty too (that I'm taking it much harder than he is)
Hereiam007 Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 Well, this what happened to my ex. Her friends got tired of it, and got in the way of our relationship. It sounds like your friends did the same thing. Well, u need to ask him, if he is willing to do some small things that needs to be done. You guys just need to deal with some issues an bring out the things u real haven't addressed. Ask I'm if he is willing to talk after the fight tonight.
confused2385 Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 It's not really my decision...I just know it's the only way. There's not much for my ex & I to discuss (we've pretty much talked about everything & I don't think he's willing to do what needs to be done to get back together) I would call my girl friends but they are all tired of it.That's why I'm so glad I found this place! THE EXACT REASON IM HERE! People can only give the same advice for so long before the give up on you and let you wallow, but sometimes the heart wants what the hear want. **** i'm so depressed right now drinking on the couch ignoring my friends and bbqs and pool parties just hoping she might finally realize, but in actuality shes probably at a party with him having the time of her life....unfortunately we are all different and some people can shut feelings off and some wear it on there sleeve
Hereiam007 Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 Confused: Getting a girlfriend back is different from getting a boyfriend back. This will pass, or care to share. Can u post your thread here of your story. I will visit it.
confused2385 Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/327731-just-broke-up-devastated
Author dsw31 Posted May 27, 2012 Author Posted May 27, 2012 Just got done watching the fight (by myself) Before the fight though-I couldn't resist...I texted my ex & told him that I had my very first dream about him since the breakup. (the whole pink tornado thing) He just called me back & left a voicemail.He sounds like a different person.He was talking very slow(probably because he's sober) He said-I don't know if you wanted to watch the fight or not but, I recorded it incase you do.Then he said it's funny that I dreamed about him last night because he had a dream last night, that a huge fireball, the size of the moon, came shooting down out of the sky about to hit the earth & he wanted to jump into a car with some people to escape but they wouldn't let him in. BTW-I'm good at interpreting dreams-that means that he feels like he is not liked & feels rejected by people. Anyway...That was 10 minutes ago that he called. He just texted me "did you get my voicemail?" I guess this is my chance to not answer him.I hope I can stay nc now.
Hereiam007 Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 now your just playing with him. He is offering a olive leaf branch. this will hurt him. and I against hurting anybody.
Author dsw31 Posted May 27, 2012 Author Posted May 27, 2012 now your just playing with him. He is offering a olive leaf branch. this will hurt him. and I against hurting anybody. Trust me Hereiam...he doesn't care whether I respond or not.He is over me.
Hereiam007 Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 From my experience this is an olive leaf branch. Just text him and say then u line to talk with him then. You two have a lot to work out. U are just hurt from past experience and can't see clearly. This is why we are coaching u here. All u have to do is say yes. U saw it, and Say good night to him. and if u have the upper hand then use it to talk about changes u like to work on and any new hobbies to pick up.
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