Mr Scorpio Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 First off, I am the typical low-confidence, late-blooming, nice-guy type. I was also toyed with by my ex at the end of my last, and only, relationship. So, there are many reasons I don't even bother trying to date. One of those reasons is that I'm 32 and I make about $800 per month. I'm college educated, but in an area that is difficult to get into w/o contacts or 3-5 years of experience. I can't/won't just take "any" full-time job because I'm in law-school, so I need a lot of time for studying. I know that some women (supposedly) look for guys they can "fix", that some women go for the "starving artist" type. Maybe some of them will give me a pass because I'm pursuing a career? Maybe I'll find a nice-gal who is a graduate student in a position similar to mine. In the case of my ex, she claimed she didn't care how much money I made so long as I wasn't a "dead-beat". But given how many posts I've read from guys who have great careers, their own houses, and disposable money to travel, I'm telling myself that the deck is highly stacked against me. So my question is: how big of an impediment do you believe this going to be if I ever man up and put myself out there?
thatoneguy1988 Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 in my experience girls really do not care at all how much you make, most the girls I know that are in relationships are in relationships with men that dont even have jobs or any source of income
Alexanda Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 Well its understandable that youre in law school so of course you cant have a full time career anyways. I think you will be fine if you put yourself out there. A woman should like you for you, not how much money you have. A good woman will be there for her man when he has money and especially when he doesnt.
kaylan Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 in my experience girls really do not care at all how much you make, most the girls I know that are in relationships are in relationships with men that dont even have jobs or any source of income Considering you are college aged, I dont think you can speak about what most women want. Men and Women in college dont really expect their partners to have jobs all the time or to have a lot of cash. Once you are older that changes.
fortyninethousand322 Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 I think you have to just not worry about it. If you're truly putting your all into making your life better then somebody will be attracted to that.
bean1 Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 $800/month for a full-time law student's income is actually doing pretty good, most people can't cope with any working during that time. Law school is 2-3 years, I think the right woman is willing to understand. Granted, many women in your age bracket will expect an established career at 32, some might not, so yes you are probably looking at odds against you for that (because you probably don't have much time either). I say just keep concentrating on school and keep looking, I don't think many women will complain about you at 33-35 when you have finished law school.
bean1 Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 I know that some women (supposedly) look for guys they can "fix", that some women go for the "starving artist" type. You don't want those. You want a woman who is smart enough to understand that you are putting yourself through a short program with long-term benefits, not a woman who wants to fix you -> those kind of women are short-term manageable, long-term terrible. When they realize you are 'normal' and there's not much to fix, they'll get bored and run off to a loser who needs help...
FitChick Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 Let's not forget it will take you years to pay back your loans.
carhill Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 So my question is: how big of an impediment do you believe this going to be if I ever man up and put myself out there? Depends, mainly on what you make of it. Woman asks me what I 'do for a living'. I tell her 'right now I'm fixing up a house. Wanna see?' (I've actually done this). She has no clue what my career is, what my educational level is, how much money I make or anything other than what I choose to tell her. If she's smart, and knows my name, she might be able to find out more. I'd enjoy that, meaning meeting a smart woman. Or maybe just getting to know her, in general. If not, back to work. Stuff to do.
ascendotum Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 I know that some women (supposedly) look for guys they can "fix", that some women go for the "starving artist" type. Maybe some of them will give me a pass because I'm pursuing a career? Maybe I'll find a nice-gal who is a graduate student in a position similar to mine. In the case of my ex, she claimed she didn't care how much money I made so long as I wasn't a "dead-beat". But given how many posts I've read from guys who have great careers, their own houses, and disposable money to travel, I'm telling myself that the deck is highly stacked against me. Struggling uni student doesn't have the same hip cutural appeal as starving artist. I also think you best best is another, (maybe mature age) student who is in similar position to you. When it comes to not caring how much you make, I find that spirit is more so with women who don't have university qualifications, than those who do, off course depends on what else bring to the table that makes up for your lack of $. First off, I am the typical low-confidence, late-blooming, nice-guy type.IMO, this aspect of you is going to do more damage to your prospects than only making $800/mth. Try and upgrade your image along with your career.
freetolove Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 FInd someone at school. to be quite honest it would be a tough market out there for you. Not to say it isn't possible. attractiveness level matters too
freetolove Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 your confidence too. (not cocky) I like a guy who makes me feel safe although financial stability does matter to some extend (I'm currently looking for something more serious). however, since you are in grad school, I would like your for being "smart"
soserious1 Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 First off, I am the typical low-confidence, late-blooming, nice-guy type. I was also toyed with by my ex at the end of my last, and only, relationship. So, there are many reasons I don't even bother trying to date. One of those reasons is that I'm 32 and I make about $800 per month. I'm college educated, but in an area that is difficult to get into w/o contacts or 3-5 years of experience. I can't/won't just take "any" full-time job because I'm in law-school, so I need a lot of time for studying. I know that some women (supposedly) look for guys they can "fix", that some women go for the "starving artist" type. Maybe some of them will give me a pass because I'm pursuing a career? Maybe I'll find a nice-gal who is a graduate student in a position similar to mine. In the case of my ex, she claimed she didn't care how much money I made so long as I wasn't a "dead-beat". But given how many posts I've read from guys who have great careers, their own houses, and disposable money to travel, I'm telling myself that the deck is highly stacked against me. So my question is: how big of an impediment do you believe this going to be if I ever man up and put myself out there? The biggest problem I see is not that you aren't earning "big money" but rather that your income is so low that if I were a prospective date, I'd be worried about the possibility that if I were to get serious about you that I would end up having to in large part, support you. A monthly income of $800 a month equates to an almost welfare level of existence. I'd worry more about improving your fiscal situation than about dating at this point.
EasyHeart Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 So my question is: how big of an impediment do you believe this going to be if I ever man up and put myself out there?I think it's safet to say that this should be a ZERO impediment in the dating world. Most women looking for LTRs are more interested in your earning potential than your actual earnings. Being a poor law student isn't going to be much of a demerit, because any woman you'd want to date is smart enough to know that poor law students turn into rich lawyers. Go get 'em, tiger!!!
Thornton Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 Being a poor law student isn't going to be much of a demerit, because any woman you'd want to date is smart enough to know that poor law students turn into rich lawyers. This. If you were likely to continue earning at your current level, a lot of women would be turned off. But the fact that you're in law school and will soon be entering a lucrative career makes all the difference in the world.
Author Mr Scorpio Posted May 28, 2012 Author Posted May 28, 2012 Let's not forget it will take you years to pay back your loans. Yes it will, even with my scholarship. If I keep living the way I am at present, I could pay down my student loan debt in probably 4-5 years. More realistically? I'll be in debt for a long time. Perhaps a red flag for a woman as far as her credit is concerned in a potential long-term relationship.
Author Mr Scorpio Posted May 28, 2012 Author Posted May 28, 2012 The biggest problem I see is not that you aren't earning "big money" but rather that your income is so low that if I were a prospective date, I'd be worried about the possibility that if I were to get serious about you that I would end up having to in large part, support you. A monthly income of $800 a month equates to an almost welfare level of existence. I'd worry more about improving your fiscal situation than about dating at this point. There doesn't seem to be much I can do to improve my fiscal situation at this point in time. I make $23 an hour right now teaching guitar. If I were to take on a full-time job at $8.50 an hour, I would be sacrificing tons of time I could use to try to distinguish myself academically so that I can get a job when I graduate. Besides, having law school on my resume is a scarlet letter to any employer who isn't hiring me for legal purposes. They all figure -- correctly or not -- that I'd bolt as soon as I found something "better".
Emilia Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 So you are a mature student basically with casual work on the side. There are plenty of those around and they usually date, very often from their own college.
wordrock Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 In every relationship I've been in... I met the woman while I was between jobs or working a not so great job. They've always been able to look beyond that and see the potential. This comes with having pride in yourself... not the vain type, but the stable "I know what I want and I know how to get it" type. If you've got goals and you work at those goals, this will shine through. Avoid thinking of things in terms of 'attracting women', but rather focus on yourself. You won't even have to figure out how to do that, after all... that's on their end. You should be thinking of whether you are attracted to her!
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