irc333 Posted May 23, 2012 Posted May 23, 2012 ....never had been married, NOR had a boyfriend, but yet has plenty of male friends. Comes from a conservative South American culture. Would it make you question things. Would it be a good thing or a bad thing? Would there be an advantage or disadvantage to EACH....AND.....would you be able to deal with the disadvantages? Also, what would you judge about her right off the bat when you've heard about this. Remember, she's not ugly , she's actually attractive.
dasein Posted May 23, 2012 Posted May 23, 2012 Not even a BF ever and in her 40s? I'm usually the one saying never been married is not a red flag, but this needs some splaining. Was she a nun? On the space shuttle? In prison? Caretaking a bunch of really sick family? Is there a possibility of a language barrier where the term "BF" is concerned? 1
FitChick Posted May 23, 2012 Posted May 23, 2012 Why don't you go out with her and find out? Or were you planning to marry her first?
manup Posted May 23, 2012 Posted May 23, 2012 ....never had been married, NOR had a boyfriend, but yet has plenty of male friends. Comes from a conservative South American culture. Would it make you question things. Would it be a good thing or a bad thing? Would there be an advantage or disadvantage to EACH....AND.....would you be able to deal with the disadvantages? Also, what would you judge about her right off the bat when you've heard about this. Remember, she's not ugly , she's actually attractive. As women age their options shorten, therefore if she was to get married it's less likely she would leave or cheat. However, if she has a lot of guy friends and has never done the long term stuff it is likely she's either a career woman or she gets around.
Radu Posted May 23, 2012 Posted May 23, 2012 ....never had been married, NOR had a boyfriend, but yet has plenty of male friends. Comes from a conservative South American culture. Would it make you question things. Would it be a good thing or a bad thing? Would there be an advantage or disadvantage to EACH....AND.....would you be able to deal with the disadvantages? Also, what would you judge about her right off the bat when you've heard about this. Remember, she's not ugly , she's actually attractive. It might be a huge turnoff for me, but i would love to hear her story. It might be : - red flag - lesbian - she was in a convent ? 1
Author irc333 Posted May 24, 2012 Author Posted May 24, 2012 Well, sounds like she has a story, but nothing had been revealed, apparently her friend told me she has no real idea why she's been without a boyfriend for SO long......that she's happy that way....she told me she has certain family members like 1 sister, a couple of brothers, and a lot of nieces and nephews....(guess that means she's the only one that hasn't been married off). And of course, a bunch of friends.... She does find it VERY weird she's never had a boyfriend, but it's HER life and hasn't asked her about her decision or questioned the "Why"....felt since she is happy, she wouldn't pry further. And she respects her decision, as it doesn't hurt anyone. It might be a huge turnoff for me, but i would love to hear her story. It might be : - red flag - lesbian - she was in a convent ?
gaius Posted May 24, 2012 Posted May 24, 2012 Some women just aren't into sex. Most like that find a way to disguise it, constant LDR's, etc, etc. Good for her for being honest. Brave enough to put up with people's weird looks! 1
oaks Posted May 24, 2012 Posted May 24, 2012 Never had a boyfriend? Not sure that it's a red flag until I hear more of the story - eg the way she replies to "Why not?" and how she answers "Are you looking for one now?" 1
FitChick Posted May 24, 2012 Posted May 24, 2012 Some women just aren't into sex. Or maybe she's swinger and doesn't want to give up that lifestyle.
fortyninethousand322 Posted May 24, 2012 Posted May 24, 2012 I'd be very suspicious of her and be very reluctant to ask her out or date her.
matte123 Posted May 24, 2012 Posted May 24, 2012 If I heard this, I would wonder if she's a lesbian or an asexual or just had bad luck with finding love. I wouldn't think of anything pass that until I get to know her better. 1
Forever Learning Posted May 24, 2012 Posted May 24, 2012 (edited) ....never had been married, NOR had a boyfriend, but yet has plenty of male friends. Comes from a conservative South American culture. Would it make you question things. Would it be a good thing or a bad thing? Would there be an advantage or disadvantage to EACH....AND.....would you be able to deal with the disadvantages? Also, what would you judge about her right off the bat when you've heard about this. Remember, she's not ugly , she's actually attractive. We have a family friend from a South American country, that is in a similar situation. She has lived in the USA since her early 20's. She never sought out a boyfriend or married because her father molested her and her sisters. For that reason, she didn't want anything to do with men after that. There was a child born out of the incest (perhaps more than one, it was a very large Catholic family). If she were to decide to seek out a relationship with a man now in life, I would assume it would be because she has healed enough regarding that part of her life, and is now ready to seek out male companionship, (along with not wanting the financial burden of growing old alone, could be another reason). Edited May 24, 2012 by Forever Learning
Author irc333 Posted May 24, 2012 Author Posted May 24, 2012 Hm yeah, that could be something..... I just found it odd, coming from a traditional Latin family , where marriages is common. We have a family friend from a South American country, that is in a similar situation. She has lived in the USA since her early 20's. She never sought out a boyfriend or married because her father molested her and her sisters. For that reason, she didn't want anything to do with men after that. There was a child born out of the incest (perhaps more than one, it was a very large Catholic family). If she were to decide to seek out a relationship with a man now in life, I would assume it would be because she has healed enough regarding that part of her life, and is now ready to seek out male companionship, (along with not wanting the financial burden of growing old alone, could be another reason).
Forever Learning Posted May 24, 2012 Posted May 24, 2012 I know of another woman who made it to her late 40's and never had a boyfriend. Her deal was she was gay, but could never admit it to anyone, due to her very strict religious upbringing. Her father was a minister. So rather than live a gay lifestyle, she remained celebate. No one knew she was gay until she finally had enough hiding it, as I said, in her late 40's.
Author irc333 Posted May 24, 2012 Author Posted May 24, 2012 I know of another woman who made it to her late 40's and never had a boyfriend. Her deal was she was gay, but could never admit it to anyone, due to her very strict religious upbringing. Her father was a minister. So rather than live a gay lifestyle, she remained celebate. No one knew she was gay until she finally had enough hiding it, as I said, in her late 40's. I have known some people to join the clergy for kind of similar reasons. I think. THere are people who won't "come out" due to shame so they just have no relations with ANY gender, thus kind of throwing the baby out with the bathwater I suppose.
Recommended Posts