WildWildWest Posted May 22, 2012 Posted May 22, 2012 I have been seeing a guy on and off for the past 3 years and here lately my feelings for him have grown.. however I am kinda confused with the situation.. He wants to be exclusive but not have a real relationship because he enjoys his space.. I thought being exclusive meant you were in a relationship? He made a comment about him being single.. I told him being single meant he can do whatever he wants with whoever he wants.. he said he didnt mean that kinda single.. I"m seriously confused.. I told him if he was single then I was single to, so he can see who he wants and I can see who I want.. he said he doesnt want to.. so he's telling me that he doesnt want anybody else but he doesnt want a real relationship with me in fear of his life changing? can anybody shed some light on this situation please?
january2011 Posted May 22, 2012 Posted May 22, 2012 Sounds like he's trying to eat cake. I don't quite understand, "not have a real relationship because he enjoys his space." If it means what I think it means, then it sounds like a dealbreaker. I suggest that if you're not happy with the situation, you talk to him about him and ask for clarification. He may mean that being exclusive means sexually and/or emotionally. But if you want to be in a 'real' relationship, however you define it yourself, then you need to tell him that. If you can't come to a compromise that you're both happy with, then walk away - you can't meet each other's needs. Even though you've been on-and-off for three years, it's still three years - a long time to invest in one person and not be exclusive or in a 'real' relationship.
d'Arthez Posted May 22, 2012 Posted May 22, 2012 Sounds like a severe case of commitmentphobia. You can't really do anything to improve matters. January is right. Better steer clear.
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