Teiah Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 guy i was with over 2 yrs have decided to end things.. let me just be upfront and tell you that, we have been up and down since oct, misunderstanding on his part. i am still married, to someone else, but we stay together for the kids. since we had a huge fight in oct, i decided that i will take this year and get financially ok and be with him by the end of this year. he had been having financial problems lately. i feel that it's only logical to be ready for this new life. i have to be practical since i'm bringing kids with me.. we had a weekend together in march that wasn't so great.. just the one day. i was bothered that he wasn't doing anything to make it special. we sat in front of the tv all day, he was really trying but i was bothered, it was really pms now to think of it but.... at night i went to bed and he didn't follow.. he fell asleep and i went to sit on the couch, feeling sorry. finally i left and when he called to ask what i was doing i said he didn't even know i wasn't next to him, i figured if he knew i was laying on the couch he would talk to me. i went home and said there, my kids know when i'm gone. after that.. when we met up again, i said apologized and i thought things were ok. he got more distant, so i got more needy.. asked what is going on and he said he felt he has to defend himself when we talk. so i apologize again told him i dont want him feeling that way so he decide what to do about us. nothing from him for 2 dys. finally went to him to ask if that was his decision. he said he needed more time. we were to meet up in a few days.. going through all this i got sick and was at the hosp the day we were to meet.. heard nothing from him. finally got better 2 wks later and went to him to see what is going on. he said i didnt show up so he figured it was done, so i retuned his key to him and left. went back 2 hrs later, wanted to figure things out but he was drunk. he stopped drinking when we got together.. so i was so sad that he's back to drinking.. couldnt really talk, said we would talk another time. i called the next day, never replied. 2 wks forward.. i texted 2x nothing! finally emailed him to see if he wanted the key back, since i had to take it to lock his door when he was drunk. he replied saying he will let me know or i can mail it. i went to him a few days later and he said we're just best friends. said i walk away too easily so he knows from his experiences with the exes that i will do the same thing. he's been div 3x. he's also 18 yrs older than i am. also that he's waited for me all this time and nothing has happened to progress the relationship. said he's made up his mind he's meant to be alone. he's been drinking already by the time i got there at 10am. and back to smoking too now. i was sooo sad. i panicked and that night i wanted to show him that i pick him. i stayed for 6 dys.. he was so cold. didn't talk to me unless i talked to him, i cooked he didn't eat. i was still seeing my kids but wasn't sleeping in the house. finally i left since it didn't seem like anything i do will get him back.. i left a note saying the key was under the mat.. ok so.. the key wasn't really the key, and i still have the key.. i went there the other day when he wasn't there.. and of course still drinking alot, he's taken pics down of me and kids, has put them in my drawer that he had for me. .. and he'd been looking at porn, and a site to hook up with locals for s*x. ughhh.. totally devestate me. not his character to be promiscious. .. what should i do?? pls help me..
mephisto Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 I was in his shoes and I also took off. Gets to a stage where you start fighting for your own self rather than for somebody who is still married and not moving forward. Chances ?? Yes, talk it out and when good then move in same day. Any other thing is just a waste of time in his mind. Let me know if you got more questions. guy i was with over 2 yrs have decided to end things.. let me just be upfront and tell you that, we have been up and down since oct, misunderstanding on his part. i am still married, to someone else, but we stay together for the kids. since we had a huge fight in oct, i decided that i will take this year and get financially ok and be with him by the end of this year. he had been having financial problems lately. i feel that it's only logical to be ready for this new life. i have to be practical since i'm bringing kids with me.. we had a weekend together in march that wasn't so great.. just the one day. i was bothered that he wasn't doing anything to make it special. we sat in front of the tv all day, he was really trying but i was bothered, it was really pms now to think of it but.... at night i went to bed and he didn't follow.. he fell asleep and i went to sit on the couch, feeling sorry. finally i left and when he called to ask what i was doing i said he didn't even know i wasn't next to him, i figured if he knew i was laying on the couch he would talk to me. i went home and said there, my kids know when i'm gone. after that.. when we met up again, i said apologized and i thought things were ok. he got more distant, so i got more needy.. asked what is going on and he said he felt he has to defend himself when we talk. so i apologize again told him i dont want him feeling that way so he decide what to do about us. nothing from him for 2 dys. finally went to him to ask if that was his decision. he said he needed more time. we were to meet up in a few days.. going through all this i got sick and was at the hosp the day we were to meet.. heard nothing from him. finally got better 2 wks later and went to him to see what is going on. he said i didnt show up so he figured it was done, so i retuned his key to him and left. went back 2 hrs later, wanted to figure things out but he was drunk. he stopped drinking when we got together.. so i was so sad that he's back to drinking.. couldnt really talk, said we would talk another time. i called the next day, never replied. 2 wks forward.. i texted 2x nothing! finally emailed him to see if he wanted the key back, since i had to take it to lock his door when he was drunk. he replied saying he will let me know or i can mail it. i went to him a few days later and he said we're just best friends. said i walk away too easily so he knows from his experiences with the exes that i will do the same thing. he's been div 3x. he's also 18 yrs older than i am. also that he's waited for me all this time and nothing has happened to progress the relationship. said he's made up his mind he's meant to be alone. he's been drinking already by the time i got there at 10am. and back to smoking too now. i was sooo sad. i panicked and that night i wanted to show him that i pick him. i stayed for 6 dys.. he was so cold. didn't talk to me unless i talked to him, i cooked he didn't eat. i was still seeing my kids but wasn't sleeping in the house. finally i left since it didn't seem like anything i do will get him back.. i left a note saying the key was under the mat.. ok so.. the key wasn't really the key, and i still have the key.. i went there the other day when he wasn't there.. and of course still drinking alot, he's taken pics down of me and kids, has put them in my drawer that he had for me. .. and he'd been looking at porn, and a site to hook up with locals for s*x. ughhh.. totally devestate me. not his character to be promiscious. .. what should i do?? pls help me..
Author Teiah Posted May 20, 2012 Author Posted May 20, 2012 That's why i stayed after he told me these things, so i can show him that i've chosen him and left everything behind, of course i would wake at 3am to get to the other house so that someone could be there with the kids. But that was the only time at the other house. I was there and he wouldn't really talk to me. I cooked he wouldn't eat it. I don't know how to reach out to him. So I left. When he said he made a decision to be alone.. so I take that as face value? I feel that I should respect that but at the same time, i want him in my life.
mephisto Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 He said that to test you. Come on!! you are a smart girl... I wish I would have been as lucky as he is with you That's why i stayed after he told me these things, so i can show him that i've chosen him and left everything behind, of course i would wake at 3am to get to the other house so that someone could be there with the kids. But that was the only time at the other house. I was there and he wouldn't really talk to me. I cooked he wouldn't eat it. I don't know how to reach out to him. So I left. When he said he made a decision to be alone.. so I take that as face value? I feel that I should respect that but at the same time, i want him in my life.
Author Teiah Posted May 20, 2012 Author Posted May 20, 2012 suggestion please.. i'm so emotionally distraught.. i'm stuck and don't know what else to do to show him I want him. I want to be the one to take care of him. Even my kids miss him. i'm so afraid.. he will keep rejecting my love, my friendship. . that i've lost him forever.
mephisto Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 Easy...dress hot, bring some dinner to his place, sit him down and tell him when is most convenient for him for you to move in. Take it from there. No calls, emails, texts, smoke signals, doves...face to face! suggestion please.. i'm so emotionally distraught.. i'm stuck and don't know what else to do to show him I want him. I want to be the one to take care of him. Even my kids miss him.
Author Teiah Posted May 20, 2012 Author Posted May 20, 2012 love the idea but he's rejected so many times.. he's very stubborn, when he's made up his mind he sticks to it, what i'm afraid of. when i was there he wouldn't even really talk to me, or look at me. his actions were so distant towards me, even the way he sits. should i give him space, it's been a week since i've left his place. will he ever think of coming back to me?? I asked if i filled for div, if that would make any difference.. he said no. ... your thought on that??
mephisto Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 You should be jumping of joy !!!!! You got yourself a decent man who respects himself. Time for you to work your magic. How old are you two ? This needs a long explanation and Im a lazy typer love the idea but he's rejected so many times.. he's very stubborn, when he's made up his mind he sticks to it, what i'm afraid of. when i was there he wouldn't even really talk to me, or look at me. his actions were so distant towards me, even the way he sits. should i give him space, it's been a week since i've left his place. will he ever think of coming back to me?? I asked if i filled for div, if that would make any difference.. he said no. ... your thought on that??
Author Teiah Posted May 20, 2012 Author Posted May 20, 2012 (edited) i'm 36. he's 55.. been div 3x. .. you mind me asking how old you are?? btw, thank you for your help. Edited May 20, 2012 by Teiah
mephisto Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 Im 40...and been there and done that. No thanks, we all here to help out each other to the best we can. He is burnt out of waiting for you and now is on the "whatever" mood, might have even checked out already but I dont think so. Cant see a PM function on this site otherwise I would send you a more private message. Or I cant see it... i'm 36. he's 55.. been div 3x. .. you mind me asking how old you are?? btw, thank you for your help.
Author Teiah Posted May 20, 2012 Author Posted May 20, 2012 (edited) i'm so new here too.. don't know where things are just yet... checked out.. why do you say you don't think he has?? by his coldness i would think he has.. and now looking at porn, and site to hook up with locals for s*x. seems like he doesn't want anything to do with me at all!! when he says it doesn't matter if i'm there or not, is pretty convincing now what?? i have yahoo.. if you'd rather talk there?? Edited May 20, 2012 by Teiah
mephisto Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 You can add me to skype if you like galigula99 Or give me your yahoo id. Same thing for me. i'm so new here too.. don't know where things are just yet... checked out.. why do you say you don't think he has?? by his coldness i would think he has.. and now looking at porn, and site to hook up with locals for s*x. seems like he doesn't want anything to do with me at all!! when he says it doesn't matter if i'm there or not, is pretty convincing now what?? i have yahoo.. if you'd rather talk there??
mephisto Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 Got it. Give me 1/1,5 hours, please. yahoo id is teiah143
Author Teiah Posted May 20, 2012 Author Posted May 20, 2012 will be on.. whats your id?? thank you for your time.. hope you don't forget
mephisto Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 galigula99 will be on.. whats your id?? thank you for your time.. hope you don't forget
Author Teiah Posted May 20, 2012 Author Posted May 20, 2012 for yahoo?? said not found.. find me pls.
mephisto Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 I did and already added you I am not much of a Yahoo person but sure I did it right. Check, please. for yahoo?? said not found.. find me pls.
Author Teiah Posted May 20, 2012 Author Posted May 20, 2012 saw you but no msgs.. maybe you're busy??
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