Motherof3 Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 I'm a single mom with 3 kids. My two other sibs and my Mom are helping me to raise them. I know my past was pretty messed up but that does not entitle anyone to treat me like a trash. I'm 26 year old, I consider myself myself beyond attractive, I'm fun, funny, outgoing, desirable and sweet. I've been online dating for about a year now. I've met different kind of men, nice, jerks, educated, jobless, fun, boring, sweet, careless. I never had a commitment to anyone of them though. I've been dating around. But over the past 2 months I've only been seeing these two men, one that I just dumped yesterday after I've found out that he got his ex pregnant. There was this guy, who was a sweet little nerdy dork. I was falling for him because I thought he was different and genuine. Turns out he had sex with his ex while he was talking to me, got her pregnant, dumped her, took me out on dates... and when I found out about it I asked him "Did you get her pregnant?" And he goes "A little bit :S lol" WTH? We ended up arguing and he expected me to understand that it was "not a big deal." And then just earlier today after talking to the 2nd guy, I really felt devastated and being used after he told that he needs to find other women to spend time with cause he feels lonely and he's not suppose to just sit on his apartment every night especially when I'm busy. I said okay, hope he'll be able to find that one who he can have fun and I even wished him luck and I told him, I'll move on also and will go look for other guys. But just few minutes ago, he sent me an email saying it's hard for him to find someone who is as fun as me, and that he still wants to hang out with me and see where it goes. And he still wants to get to know to me and see if it will lead to relationship. I mean what the heck is this? What does this guy want from me? Note: I live in Angola, english is not my first language... Sorry for some grammar errors.
MadSworthy Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 get a babysitter I don't think that's her problem.
Mrlonelyone Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 Any man who approaches a woman with a child or three has to think very hard and very seriously about what he wants out of a relationship. They want to have a woman they can as you say have fun with, at least early on. They also have to think about their long term life goals and needs. Chief among those life goals and needs is children that are biologically theirs. Thinking long term they have to think to themselves do I want to marry a woman and have to spend my resources to support someone else's children? For many men the answer is no. IF you go the distance, to living together or marriage, he will be paying part of rent or a mortgage on a house big enough to accommodate all of you. Then he wants children of his own...perhaps two. He has to think will you be able to deliver that for him? Will they be healthy? Those are questions that occur to men on some level when face with dating a single mother. The answer for you is to find a man who at the least has children of his own out there. If the man has satisfied that Darwinian drive psychologically it will be easier to deal with your situation for him. Men who are in their 50's might be who you should look for. Men who have been married before. Or you could do this if you find a man with three kids. 1
2sunny Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 I wouldn't keep seeing any man that admits to seeing their ex - and having sex with them. How can you focus on a new R if you dont let go of the last one - you can't. And I wouldn't be with a man because he's afraid to be alone! That would suck! I'd always be wondering if he's seeing someone else when I'm busy. Men should be capable of being self sufficient and occupy themselves productively if/when I'm not with them. If they're not - then hey are just too needy and emotionally stunted for me to keep seeing them. Think about it - neither guy is ideal. Don't date because you're bored - just go out with friends and have fun with hobbies and interests. No need to be obligated at this point to any man - you have 3 kids to keep you occupied more than anything. Sign up for classes and start having fun being productive! What do they want from you? Sex. But they are willing to get it from any gal - not JUST YOU. Never settle!
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