NYC-BigKat Posted May 19, 2012 Posted May 19, 2012 I dont know but it seems that way . I wanna tell u guys the story ok? I was chatting up with this cute girl on facebook for a whole week & it felt so good 'cause I dont get alot of chances with girls right? Anyhow this girl told me that she wasnt alot about looks & said I was so genuine & nice & she wanted to give a nice guy a chance 'cause they becoming rare right? Anyway we set up a date to go to the movies. She says yes & I'm happy! We text each other all day then we set up the time to see the movie. She has work so I wait for her to finish right? She texts me that work is over & she's on her way to 42nd street. Then a second later while I'm there she texts me again & says she cant come now . She says she has to work a little late & lets meet another day. This feels so weird to me for 2 reasons & here's why: I wanted to call her on the phone to hear her voice but she wont do it & says she's not into talking on phones 'cause no ones does that anymore. I say ok maybe she's right or something so we keep texting the whole week & then when she supposed to meet me up she cancels just as she's on her way to 42nd street? How is that possible to do? Her boss just stops her while she walks to catch the train for her to come back to work? I'm just not getting this right. Is the texting throwing things around?? Anyway I let it go but told her I was upset about being stood up but she says I wasnt stood up it was her boss's fault for wanting to do OT. I dont know what to think . My 2 friends say she got cold feet. She wants to try again. Should I??
Disenchantedly Yours Posted May 19, 2012 Posted May 19, 2012 Anyhow this girl told me that she wasnt alot about looks & said I was so genuine & nice & she wanted to give a nice guy a chance 'cause they becoming rare right? NYC, red flag number one. She doesn't sound too genuine herself. Genuine girls don't talk about how she wants to give "nice guys" a chance. To me, this is kind of condesending on her part. Anyway we set up a date to go to the movies. She says yes & I'm happy! We text each other all day then we set up the time to see the movie. She has work so I wait for her to finish right? She texts me that work is over & she's on her way to 42nd street. Then a second later while I'm there she texts me again & says she cant come now . She says she has to work a little late & lets meet another day. This feels so weird to me for 2 reasons & here's why: Red flag number 2. It is weird. Even if she ended up having to work late, she could have apologized for the change of plans but suggested meeting up a little later at a spot nearby just to grab a drink or coffee or something. I wanted to call her on the phone to hear her voice but she wont do it & says she's not into talking on phones 'cause no ones does that anymore. Red flag number 3. People don't talk on the phone anymore? What people? I always talk to someone on the phone, especially if I never met them before. You get a better impression of who they are over the phone. I also find it weird that she said because "no one does that anymore", not simply because she isn't a phone person. This is very weird. I say ok maybe she's right or something so we keep texting the whole week & then when she supposed to meet me up she cancels just as she's on her way to 42nd street? How is that possible to do? Her boss just stops her while she walks to catch the train for her to come back to work? I'm just not getting this right. Is the texting throwing things around?? No. It's not the texting's fault. It's hers. She blew you off twice?? Anyway I let it go but told her I was upset about being stood up but she says I wasnt stood up it was her boss's fault for wanting to do OT. I dont know what to think . My 2 friends say she got cold feet. She wants to try again. Should I?? No! Please don't give this girl another chance. You already gave her two if I am reading your post correctly. I understand meeting women is hard. But don't let yourself be treated this way just because of that. You need to show people how to treat you. She is not treating you well at all. I say goodbye to her and move on. 2
ThaWholigan Posted May 19, 2012 Posted May 19, 2012 DY is right OP. Don't let your desperation dissolve your boundaries. Try and speak to other girls, and don't attach so much to the outcome of these interactions. Taking it too seriously will depress you. Just reframe every encounter in your head.
Author NYC-BigKat Posted May 19, 2012 Author Posted May 19, 2012 DY is right OP. Don't let your desperation dissolve your boundaries. Try and speak to other girls, and don't attach so much to the outcome of these interactions. Taking it too seriously will depress you. Just reframe every encounter in your head. She apologize for having to go back to work. I forgot to add that the spot we was supposed to meet was bryant park across from starbucks then we'd go to the empire movie theatre down the block. She says she wasn't very familiar with where the theatre was so I agreed to help her out. If she had no intention of meeting me she wont be so clear on our meeting spot right? Maybe the job thing was true or she got a little scared for our 1st meeting. I know I should just move on but I have this 3-strike rule so I think I should stick it out for 1 more shot but thanks anyway guys.
mark 40 Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 i don't know why but i've had more canceled dates than dates by far.
Nikki Sahagin Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 Is it possible you've come on too strong? I had a guy text me every day for about 3 weeks. I always text back because I didn't really know how to politely tell him he was suffocating me a bit. He asked us to meet at a distant point in the future and I said yes. When the date rolled round I completely forgot and made up an excuse for why I couldn't go. I didn't want to be mean, false or flakey, but I didn't know how to politely tell him he was coming on too strong so I did the passive-aggressive, weird thing that girls sometimes do. It may be you're being a bit full on, or a case of, 'she's just not that into you.' When a person really wants you, they aren't flakey.
mark 40 Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 Is it possible you've come on too strong? I had a guy text me every day for about 3 weeks. I always text back because I didn't really know how to politely tell him he was suffocating me a bit. He asked us to meet at a distant point in the future and I said yes. When the date rolled round I completely forgot and made up an excuse for why I couldn't go. I didn't want to be mean, false or flakey, but I didn't know how to politely tell him he was coming on too strong so I did the passive-aggressive, weird thing that girls sometimes do. It may be you're being a bit full on, or a case of, 'she's just not that into you.' When a person really wants you, they aren't flakey. another women who lies.
carhill Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 Any woman who uses 'give a <whatever> a chance' gets no chance from me. OP, look for a lady with a synergistic style. If 'flaky' is not synergistic, dismiss all who demonstrate it. One strike and they're erased. This claims more real estate in your heart and mind for those women who are synergistic. Just think, in the time you spent thinking about this and posting it, you could have met one of them.
Emilia Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 I was chatting up with this cute girl on facebook for a whole week & it felt so good 'cause I dont get alot of chances with girls right? Anyhow this girl told me that she wasnt alot about looks & said I was so genuine & nice & she wanted to give a nice guy a chance 'cause they becoming rare right? I'm assuming the bolded part means the two of you have never met before? If that's the case, a lot of people bail when it comes to meeting complete strangers, especially if their heart is not in it. It's a bit like online dating.
mark 40 Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 I'm assuming the bolded part means the two of you have never met before? If that's the case, a lot of people bail when it comes to meeting complete strangers, especially if their heart is not in it. It's a bit like online dating. a lot of people are liars. if she doesn't want to meet why the hell does she say yes to him? is it that much fun to waste others times by making false plans?
carhill Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 IME, it's not so much 'lying' as a self-indulgent fantasy, or so I've heard directly from women. I tasted a bit of it myself, when women who bought into my whisking them off to some far and away place in my travels balked at the reality of doing it. To them, it was a fun fantasy, though they didn't communicate that. It is what it is; all good information.
truth_seeker Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 I'm assuming the bolded part means the two of you have never met before? If that's the case, a lot of people bail when it comes to meeting complete strangers, especially if their heart is not in it. It's a bit like online dating. I agree with this. People get nervous when the actual date, meeting approaches, get scared and bail. It happens.
Recommended Posts