missvball Posted May 19, 2012 Posted May 19, 2012 I have known my UPS delivery driver for 5.5 years on a friendly/small talk/quick phone call basis. We both never flirted with each other or anything because he was married and also had 2 children (even though I thought he was a hottie). I receive packages at least 2-4 times a week through my business. At the very beginning he gave me his cell phone number to call him whenever I needed to get packages dropped off early in town so I could get on with my business and not wait until the afternoon for the package. We never talked about our personal lives to each other. Well, at the 4 year mark I ask him if he is on Facebook and thats when he told me that he destroyed his computer because his wife recently left him for another man and he read their correspondence and destroyed the computer. Fast forward 10 months to this past Christmas. I gave him his Christmas present and he told me he was giving me a hug and we hugged for about 10 seconds. Since his touch I have been crushing on him big time. From this time forward he would regularly say "you know you can call me anytime if you need anything." I also started making sure I looked good for the ups man with make-up and nice fitting clothes, etc. However, I never started flirting because he didn't initiate the flirting. Fast forward to March and I asked him to help me unload a fridge since mine broke. He showed up with his 2 children who live with him full-time, and we got the fridge set up. The next week I made a casserole and brought it to him at the baseball fields as a thank you. We talked and we both said that each other could call each other and that we really meant it and its not just words and then at the end he said "call me if you ever want to come over and hang out at my house." The next week I called him to set up a time for me to come over and thats when he said that he is always flying by the seat of his pants with his long hours and children extra-curricular activities and that I would just need to call on the day that I would want to come over and if it works, it works, if it doesn't, I could try again a different day. Well, I felt a little bit miffed that he expects me to go through all of that to hang out with him. Ironically, I didn't have any packages arrive for about a month around this time, so we had virtually no contact. I called him once at night and we talked for 15 minutes, mostly about how busy we both are, no flirting or anything. I finally started getting packages again around 2 weeks ago and thats when he started flirting with me every day saying things like "you haven't been cheating on me have you?, when I missed meeting him for the delivery and then I told him I forgot to bring my package with me to my job site and he asked "what in the world was on your mind?" We have definitely been flirting for about 2 weeks straight now and I feel like that is the thing that has been missing in our interactions up to this point. So far, he has not asked me out again. How long should I keep up the flirting before I write him off as unavailable, not ready for anything like dating or a relationship and move on. Or maybe I should not stop flirting but I would feel uncomfortable with that if he does end up getting a girlfriend and I am continuing to flirt. I definitely feel an emotional connection to this man and don't want to do anything to turn him away. Any tips or insights would be quite helpful!
Author missvball Posted May 19, 2012 Author Posted May 19, 2012 what can I say, except that I am very busy. I have enjoyed lurking periodically throughout the years :-)
gaius Posted May 19, 2012 Posted May 19, 2012 I would write him off already, after he didn't flirt on the phone and that cold response about coming over. He's playing cold fish when you make the moves to actually date him, which tells you something. If you enjoy the in person flirting and think you won't get attached then keep it up! You can always stop later if he mentions a girlfriend. Or use her as a topic to flirt even more. 1
Airborne Posted May 19, 2012 Posted May 19, 2012 Maybe the FedEx man has more testosterone. I bet you ordered stuff you didn't need just so he would show up. 1
Rahstyles Posted May 19, 2012 Posted May 19, 2012 Just tell him you like him and you want to date him. Done...
truth_seeker Posted May 19, 2012 Posted May 19, 2012 He seems to like you but when it comes time to get closer he balks. It could be from his break up. He might be afraid to let someone in only to be hurt again. Since you're really into him, I would be direct with him so you know where he stands, and he knows how you feel.
Author missvball Posted May 20, 2012 Author Posted May 20, 2012 Thanks for the replies! I know that he enjoys talking to me since he always takes time out of his busy day to talk to me for 5 minutes when he brings me my packages. If he did that for every female customer he would be 1.5 hours late in returning to the hub. He is always asking general questions about me and we banter back and forth. Sometimes the conversations are light-hearted and sometimes serious depending on whats going on in our lives. It seems like if there was no interest he wouldn't pay attention to me and he surely would not have started flirting. I think I will keep things as they are for another couple of weeks and see if anything changes. If things stay as they are I will be more direct with him since I do have feelings for him. Thanks again.
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