woots31 Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 I have tried to date a friend, it did not work well for me. I have tried to date a stranger, it did not work out well for me. I have tried the FWB thing, I have tried internet dating, I am ready to give up. I am so tired of being lied to, treated like a piece of trash, and messing up friendships with romance. But I really do not want to end up alone. I am in my thirties and have never been married. I hear people with horror stories about there marriages but I am not afraid of horror stories I am not afraid of problems I am afraid of being alone. It may be silly, but I sit up nights thinking about how nice it would be to have someone to care about that cares about me. I want a marriage. I don't want to end up alone.
baguette Posted May 18, 2012 Posted May 18, 2012 Keep at it and they will come. I noticed you said "a" friend, "a" stranger, "a".. It will take a lot of dates with a lot of different people to find the right one. Don't get discouraged.
olivec Posted May 18, 2012 Posted May 18, 2012 I have tried to date a friend, it did not work well for me. I have tried to date a stranger, it did not work out well for me. I have tried the FWB thing, I have tried internet dating, I am ready to give up. I am so tired of being lied to, treated like a piece of trash, and messing up friendships with romance. But I really do not want to end up alone. I am in my thirties and have never been married. I hear people with horror stories about there marriages but I am not afraid of horror stories I am not afraid of problems I am afraid of being alone. It may be silly, but I sit up nights thinking about how nice it would be to have someone to care about that cares about me. I want a marriage. I don't want to end up alone. I understand what your saying. However you cannot focus on it soo much. It will come when your not looking for it. Also you have to lose that fear of being alone because its probably the reason you have not found anybody yet or turn any potential relationships sour very quickly. You must learn that its not the end of the world if you dont find someone and be happy with what you have. Good luck
baguette Posted May 18, 2012 Posted May 18, 2012 I understand what your saying. However you cannot focus on it soo much. It will come when your not looking for it. Also you have to lose that fear of being alone because its probably the reason you have not found anybody yet or turn any potential relationships sour very quickly. You must learn that its not the end of the world if you dont find someone and be happy with what you have. Good luck Yes. People can pick up on it easily. I used to be like that but I decided to "fake it until I made it." Of course I still fear being alone a little inside, but people I date never ever see that.
gaius Posted May 19, 2012 Posted May 19, 2012 I remember you woots. Don't worry, it will happen eventually.
trippi1432 Posted May 19, 2012 Posted May 19, 2012 Hi Woots, I did a track back from where you liked a previous post of mine some time back and caught your threads. I know that a lot of people feel just like you, worry about being alone. Some rush right out and get involved with the wrong person due to that sometimes. I know that the worst possible thing is to be alone in a 15 year relationship, not good for kids either. I remember trying to figure out what "normal" was in my marriage because it was fraught with so much emotional and verbal abuse. Marriage is about love and caring, but also about mutual fulfillment, mutual support and sharing a deep commitment as well. It's about sharing two lives as one. These are all elements that have to be set in both minds before an actual deeper commitment. Good things come with patience, when you least expect it and aren't working so hard towards it....it comes when you find your own inner fulfillment and peace within yourself and you find someone with that same healthy attitude. Marriage isn't built to fulfill something you need that you feel is missing, it's an enhancement of a relationship that already has the elements of sustainability.
KathyM Posted May 19, 2012 Posted May 19, 2012 I'd say there might be a reason why you have not had any success in obtaining the relationship you hope for. While it may be that you just haven't found the right person yet to have that relationship with, there also might be something that is getting in the way of a successful relationship. It wouldn't hurt to talk to a counselor or a trusted friend to get some honest feedback on how you are coming across to people, so you might get some insight into what things might be changed or improved upon to enhance your chances of finding a successful relationship. That's the route I would suggest. If there are some issues, then patience is not going to improve your chances. I'd suggest getting some feedback from people who know you well, and/or from a counselor.
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