Phennyphen Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 With the sheer volume of messages I get (jokes, jokes, but you know women get more than men) if I'm not interested in someone I just didnt reply. I've just been called a rat (haha) by a guy because hes sent me 3 messages (all saying 'hi') since the beginning of the month, none of which I replied to, mainly because his profile does not contain ANY punctuation and his headline was 'slags galore on here'...I just wasnt feeling it. So I replied to his 'rat' message telling him all this. **** me, it felt good. Is this the norm? Do any of you guys get annoyed at women for not replying? Do any women really reply to every message you receive?
ThaWholigan Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 With the sheer volume of messages I get (jokes, jokes, but you know women get more than men) if I'm not interested in someone I just didnt reply. I've just been called a rat (haha) by a guy because hes sent me 3 messages (all saying 'hi') since the beginning of the month, none of which I replied to, mainly because his profile does not contain ANY punctuation and his headline was 'slags galore on here'...I just wasnt feeling it. So I replied to his 'rat' message telling him all this. **** me, it felt good. Is this the norm? Do any of you guys get annoyed at women for not replying? Do any women really reply to every message you receive? I usually send one message and forget about it, until someone replies. Guys don't really get a large volume of messages unless they have great looking profiles and pictures. I don't reply to most of my messages though because they're usually from girls I'm not attracted to (both in picture and profile).
Emilia Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 ? Do any women really reply to every message you receive? I used to but there would be a large number of weirdos and they made my skin crawl. When something is off about a message I delete it straight away. If a guy sends me a 3rd message after my not replying to his first 2, I block him. 1
SJC2008 Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 Don't reply if you don't want to. If they ask you a reason you don't owe them one. Block them, there should be an option. Just don't give your phone number and act like you wan't to go out on a date, say you have to rescheule the day before, then go cold at an attempt to reschedule lol. 1
d'Arthez Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 For a lot of men it tends to be a numbers game. Whatever drove him to call you names, I don't know. I am sure it is not anything you'd want to know. Seriously if people cannot be bothered to display a modicum of decency, why bother?
Author Phennyphen Posted May 16, 2012 Author Posted May 16, 2012 For a lot of men it tends to be a numbers game. Whatever drove him to call you names' date=' I don't know. I am sure it is not anything you'd want to know. Seriously if people cannot be bothered to display a modicum of decency, why bother?[/quote'] Exactly. One guy I blocked ages ago for continually messaging me, opened a new account SPECIFICALLY to message me saying that I was a 'dirty sket, and ignorant for ignoring him and that he hoped I got a cheater' just for ignoring him. Looks like I dodged a bullet there.
ThaWholigan Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 Exactly. One guy I blocked ages ago for continually messaging me, opened a new account SPECIFICALLY to message me saying that I was a 'dirty sket, and ignorant for ignoring him and that he hoped I got a cheater' just for ignoring him. Looks like I dodged a bullet there. these are the guys ****ing it up for the rest of us.
d'Arthez Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 It would be great if some people would realize a relationship is about more than sticking six inches (on average) somewhere. That they really would get further in life if they actually told about themselves, developed their character and personality etc.. One must dream.
chphan Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 At least you get messages while I get none. And none of replied back to me after 15 messages sent. I've pretty much given up. Not in the mood to play the number games and sent 100+ messages in hopes of getting a few response back. But I do understand why girls don't want to bother sending replies back even if they are uninterested. It start to get bothersome. But from a guy's perspective, afterawhile you aren't even going to put much thought into messages anymore if you aren't going to get any response back. 1
d'Arthez Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 these are the guys ****ing it up for the rest of us. That is why we end up occasionally posting in threads like the one Disenchantedly Yours has started. But from a guy's perspective, afterawhile you aren't even going to put much thought into messages anymore if you aren't going to get any response back. Agreed. I assume you are reaching out to people who have reason to be interested in you. I would think, that if you either worked on your messages or on your profile you will get more responses. Some people really struggle to convey what they want and what they have to offer on a screen. And no, that does not mean that they are 'undesirables'.
chphan Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 Agreed. I assume you are reaching out to people who have reason to be interested in you. I would think, that if you either worked on your messages or on your profile you will get more responses. Some people really struggle to convey what they want and what they have to offer on a screen. And no, that does not mean that they are 'undesirables'. Sure I'm reaching out to people that I have an interest in. And try to put effort into my message but at the end of the day its still going to be about looks even if there are similar interest and goals between myself and the lady I'm interested it. I'm not going to get upset over that as at the end of the day, the girls or ladies that I sent messages to are ones I consider attracted (6-8) to so I don't have any butt hurt feelings that they don't find me attractive to respond back. I just don't have the heart and energy to play games of sending out 100+ emails to different women in hopes of getting a small percentage to respond back. I'm not a womanizer or a player. Sending out 100 messages seem a bit crazy and over the top to me which seem to be the normal for online dating.
irc333 Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 (edited) Beleive me I have said more than just "Hi" in an introdutory email. I've sometimes put time and effort into that email, only to be ignored. So it's moot. They probably just go look at the pictures, go "ew" and delete my email without reading it. With the sheer volume of messages I get (jokes, jokes, but you know women get more than men) if I'm not interested in someone I just didnt reply. I've just been called a rat (haha) by a guy because hes sent me 3 messages (all saying 'hi') since the beginning of the month, none of which I replied to, mainly because his profile does not contain ANY punctuation and his headline was 'slags galore on here'...I just wasnt feeling it. So I replied to his 'rat' message telling him all this. **** me, it felt good. Is this the norm? Do any of you guys get annoyed at women for not replying? Do any women really reply to every message you receive? But I do understand why girls don't want to bother sending replies back even if they are uninterested. It start to get bothersome. Yeah, I'm now seeing a lot of women ENDING their dating profiles with, "If you send me a message, and I do not respond, please don't send me another message as if you've never sent me one before, if you forgot, that just justifies why I shouldn't get to know you anyways, and if you are just choosing to not take the hint....just leave me alone!!" Seems like some guys will keep sending emails though not constantly, a week or 2 later, pissing these women off, and then verbalize this in their profile, "Take the hint, if I didn't respond, quit sending me emails AGAIN!" So at least they dislaim thesmelves I suppose. But funny, I have heard sending repeat emails, spaced evenly apart, might grab a woman's attention, because you're just a needle in a haystack, too. Edited May 16, 2012 by irc333
d'Arthez Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 I'm not going to get upset over that as at the end of the day, the girls or ladies that I sent messages to are ones I consider attracted (6-8) to so I don't have any butt hurt feelings that they don't find me attractive to respond back. I am really sorry for you. You deserved at least the basic courtesy of getting a reply back.
Imajerk17 Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 (edited) With the sheer volume of messages I get (jokes, jokes, but you know women get more than men) if I'm not interested in someone I just didnt reply. I've just been called a rat (haha) by a guy because hes sent me 3 messages (all saying 'hi') since the beginning of the month, none of which I replied to, mainly because his profile does not contain ANY punctuation and his headline was 'slags galore on here'...I just wasnt feeling it. So I replied to his 'rat' message telling him all this. **** me, it felt good. Is this the norm? Do any of you guys get annoyed at women for not replying? Do any women really reply to every message you receive? You don't owe anyone a reply to an unsolicited email. I write women and never hear back from them all the time and I have no problem with it. If someone you're not into keeps writing you then just block them. I don't reply to unsolicited messages I get from a woman if I'm not feeling it. I'd like to be kind, but what good does it do anyone if I am honest and tell a girl that she isn't my physical type. And if I write someone, I don't need to hear that she isn't into me because she thinks I'm not tall enough or too old or whatever. After a meet though, it's different. If I am not feeling it I will get back to the other person--they went through the effort of meeting up with me so I feel they deserve that much. And I expect the same courtesy back. Edited May 16, 2012 by Imajerk17 1
oaks Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 You don't owe anyone a reply to an unsolicited email. They aren't unsolicited. Having a profile is basically an invitation for interested parties to send messages. (But the OP still doesn't have to reply just to say "no thanks".)
PhillyDude Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 I send either one of the messages below and two of them I don't expect a eply back-lol Can I have a kiss? I would love you to sit on my face do you have pretty feet? maybe you can walk on my back:)
WonderKid Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 I actually just closed out of every social dating site ever. (Personal opinions too) But it is funny to me. Me and my friend did an experiment. Me personally, if I was sent a message and I wasn't interested in them, I would tell them. I'm not gonna leave them hanging out there. But all I did was message a woman saying, "You have a very nice profile," Let's her know I read her profile which some guys don't. I would make comments about her interests and imply that I want to know her more. And I call them by their name or whatever screen name they use. I did this to about 6 women and got no reply. The 7th replied. But she was so lame at holding a conversation. She just cut me off. Phase 2. My friend sent messages saying, "Hey there Beautiful I would l like to know you more." "Cutie you look very sexy in those pics!" There were replies almost instantly. Most of them negative. They took time out to reply negatively to a negative message, but not even a reply to a positive one? Why not ignore it like the other ones? But you have to think. Dating/forum dating sites crazy. The guys outnumber the women. And women get like 20 messages a day. Yours probably won't get read. I just closed all my profiles. Because no matter how legit you are anyone can sound good behind a computer screen. So I will just meet women outside in public. Just my opinion though.
irc333 Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 Yeah, wonderkid, you can personalize your email to the ladies all you want, address her specific points of interests, and still never get a response "Ew, he's 5'8", *delete*" There's this one woman, who responded to me, we sent 2 or 3 emails back and forth, and she mentioned something about a festival or something couple of weekends ago that was coming up. She lives locally and all of a sudden just UP and stopped responding.....I see her sign in all the time "Online now", but just stopped responding to me. With those, I send a follow "So where'd ya disappear off to?" email. Kind of rude to leave ya hanging, esp, when you even FINALLY get a woman to respond....they pull THAT crap. I actually just closed out of every social dating site ever. (Personal opinions too) But it is funny to me. Me and my friend did an experiment. Me personally, if I was sent a message and I wasn't interested in them, I would tell them. I'm not gonna leave them hanging out there. But all I did was message a woman saying, "You have a very nice profile," Let's her know I read her profile which some guys don't. I would make comments about her interests and imply that I want to know her more. And I call them by their name or whatever screen name they use. I did this to about 6 women and got no reply. The 7th replied. But she was so lame at holding a conversation. She just cut me off. Phase 2. My friend sent messages saying, "Hey there Beautiful I would l like to know you more." "Cutie you look very sexy in those pics!" There were replies almost instantly. Most of them negative. They took time out to reply negatively to a negative message, but not even a reply to a positive one? Why not ignore it like the other ones? But you have to think. Dating/forum dating sites crazy. The guys outnumber the women. And women get like 20 messages a day. Yours probably won't get read. I just closed all my profiles. Because no matter how legit you are anyone can sound good behind a computer screen. So I will just meet women outside in public. Just my opinion though.
irc333 Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 They aren't unsolicited. Having a profile is basically an invitation for interested parties to send messages. (But the OP still doesn't have to reply just to say "no thanks".) Right, you're profile in unto itself is it's own solicitation.
Emilia Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 Phase 2. My friend sent messages saying, "Hey there Beautiful I would l like to know you more." "Cutie you look very sexy in those pics!" There were replies almost instantly. Most of them negative. They took time out to reply negatively to a negative message, but not even a reply to a positive one? Why not ignore it like the other ones? Emotional impulse. I did that in the beginning too when a guy annoyed me but stopped quickly and learnt to ignore them. 'cutie' is very bloody annoying though Most people are better off dating in the real world. Let's face it it's less depressing too.
tigressA Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 Out of all the messages I've received since joining OKC about a month ago I've responded to only two, and I've written a message to one person. I don't feel bad about not responding to the cop-out "Hey wuts up beautiful" messages, which is mostly what I get; I do feel a little bad when someone's exerted visible effort but I'm not interested in responding to them because I'm just not attracted. I'd rather ignore someone I'm not drawn to, no matter how nice their message is, rather than lead them on. It's just better for all parties involved. I show as 'replies very selectively' on OKC, so a lot of guys probably feel they'd be wasting their time trying to talk to me, and it's true. I'm pretty finicky, but this in turn does make me much more proactive in that I'm more likely to write an initial message to a guy.
LittlePrince Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 With the sheer volume of messages I get (jokes, jokes, but you know women get more than men) if I'm not interested in someone I just didnt reply. I've just been called a rat (haha) by a guy because hes sent me 3 messages (all saying 'hi') since the beginning of the month, none of which I replied to, mainly because his profile does not contain ANY punctuation and his headline was 'slags galore on here'...I just wasnt feeling it. So I replied to his 'rat' message telling him all this. **** me, it felt good. Is this the norm? Do any of you guys get annoyed at women for not replying? Do any women really reply to every message you receive? OLD has been quite the nice powertrip you weren't able to get irl.
zengirl Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 When I was on OLD, I always replied to any sincere message (messages that said less than a few sentences, like "hi", would not be included in this, nor were messages outside of my stated age range or area, or anything sexual or rude). Most of my replies were, "I'm not interested, but thank you for writing. Good luck on here!" (when I wasn't interested) Anyway, plenty of guys called me names and were totally rude, whether I answered or not. I wouldn't have answered the above guy's emails either, based on my criteria for sincere messages, if the first one only said "hi." But plenty of men who I sent the above, perfectly polite "no thanks" to got upset with me and called me names and cursed me out, etc. I guess that's just part of OLD.
LittlePrince Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 Exactly. One guy I blocked ages ago for continually messaging me, opened a new account SPECIFICALLY to message me saying that I was a 'dirty sket, and ignorant for ignoring him and that he hoped I got a cheater' just for ignoring him. Looks like I dodged a bullet there. This isn't the Matrix. You aren't Neo. Get over yourself.
PhillyDude Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 This isn't the Matrix. You aren't Neo. Get over yourself. I know, some of these stupid females think their vagina has magical powers
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