Author Ducklover Posted May 17, 2012 Author Posted May 17, 2012 I live with family who can pass him the stuff which doesn't bother me... So shall I ask him when he can get it then?
d'Arthez Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 Not ask him. Tell him to get it, within 48 hours. That is more than enough time to drop by. You don't even have to be home when he comes.
Author Ducklover Posted May 17, 2012 Author Posted May 17, 2012 Ok I told him he has to get is ASAP! This is gunna end in a mess I can tell...
d'Arthez Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 Yeah, but as you are discovering now, the sooner you get him out of your life, the sooner you will start healing. You will have a few rough days, but that will be nothing compared to the heartaches you'll suffer if you keep him in your life.
Author Ducklover Posted May 17, 2012 Author Posted May 17, 2012 Yep so damn true!! I need to get rid for this stuff!!! And him out of my life! Back to square one again!
d'Arthez Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 Back to square one again! You heavily invested in this relationship, and it did not work out. You may feel like you are back to square one again, but you are not. You keep on growing, developing, and (hopefully) learning from your experiences. It often takes a long time to do what we know is rationally the best thing for us to do - because of the emotional investment we have made in making decisions, in starting and maintaining relationships.
Author Ducklover Posted May 17, 2012 Author Posted May 17, 2012 You are so good at this stuff! I wish I was you! You seem so wise and strong!! I'm just fed up of it all now.. And seeing him meeting another girl has pushed me to my limits!
d'Arthez Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 Let's just put it at life experience. Almost everyone has their disappointments in relationships. We all live and learn. In a few years' time, when you have a friend who goes through a similar heartbreak you can be there for him / her, to make sense of themselves and help them cope with their heartache. You'll be fine.
Author Ducklover Posted May 17, 2012 Author Posted May 17, 2012 I hope so!!! I need to stay strong which at the moment I feel far from... He's now ignoring my messages to get his things which I told hm would be downstairs for him! Great!
d'Arthez Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 Then let him ignore them. It is not your problem anymore. If he wants to behave like an idiot (and he has), let him.
Author Ducklover Posted May 17, 2012 Author Posted May 17, 2012 Wish it was that easy! It annoys me when he ignores me! Grrrrr
d'Arthez Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 It annoys you now, but you'll be more and more indifferent with time. In a few weeks maybe you may simply shrug your shoulders if he (for one reason or another) sends you a text message. It is amazing what a little bit of time can do.
Author Ducklover Posted May 17, 2012 Author Posted May 17, 2012 I hope so... I've bagged it all up ready to get rid of! If he doesn't get it by Saturday I'm throwing it in the trash!! I've been too nice to him and he has walked all over me!!
Author Ducklover Posted May 17, 2012 Author Posted May 17, 2012 He replied saying he doesn't know what's happened but ok!...
d'Arthez Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 He is either deliberately acting clueless, or he is truly an idiot. Both of them are not exactly flattering to him.
d'Arthez Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 Just ignore him. It is also the best thing you can do.
Author Ducklover Posted May 17, 2012 Author Posted May 17, 2012 I know it is! But as soon as the stuff is gone I can move on... I have a feeling it's going to be here for a long time yet!! Grrrrr!!! Im so rubbish at all this!!!! Ahhhh
d'Arthez Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 Don't be too harsh on yourself. Your ex is acting like an idiot. That says nothing about you. You may as well put the stuff away in the basement or some other place where you won't see it. Take your time to grief the loss of the relationship, to heal. Try not to think too much about your ex, but look forward to the future, in which you undoubtedly will form new friendships and new relationship(s). Who knows what will happen? You can only focus on yourself, improve yourself, and try to get to that point in life that you aspire to. Who knows? You may be meeting Mr. Right soon enough. . Enjoy your life, and if you think of the future, try to think of a happy future, when life is what you want it to be.
Author Ducklover Posted May 17, 2012 Author Posted May 17, 2012 I just hope I don't take too long to heal! And he doesn't coming running messing things up for me!! I need to honestly leave things now which is going to be so hard. But I know it's totally for the best!!
d'Arthez Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 It will be hard, and as weak as you may feel at times, you'll come out if it, having discovered a lot of inner strength in yourself.
Author Ducklover Posted May 17, 2012 Author Posted May 17, 2012 I need to send him a message that will make him get the picture that this is really it... Coz I know he thinks I'm bluffing!!
d'Arthez Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 Don't do it. If he does not realize it is over now, he will never realize it.
Author Ducklover Posted May 17, 2012 Author Posted May 17, 2012 I've ruined everything for myself and all hope of getting him back I know I have! But I should even want a cheat and a lier! I wish I could just cut him out and never speak to him again but I know I can't do it.
d'Arthez Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 You can do it. Really. You think you can't, but you can. You'll find vast sources of strength within you, once you accept you deserve better than what he has given you and continues to give you. Stick to No Contact. Try things like keeping your phone away; I am guessing you are still anxiously aware of the phone and the fact that he might call or text you any second. The longer you live in anticipation, the more you are draining yourself. It is not worth it. Try invite a friend over (who can provide you with emotional support), or do something you really like tonight. Something to occupy your mind with. Whether that is gaming, reading, studying, or whatever interests you. Be strong.
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