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Texting with married ex after almost two years

Searchin81

By Searchin81
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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alexandria35 Established Member

alexandria35

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Well I think the OP is headed for a full blown affair with this man. And she will regret it because he will not leave his wife for her. She will waste one, two, three or more years waiting on empty promises. She will feel incredible pain and there will be tons of drama but she will not come out of this a winner. When it ends she will be in horrible pain and she will rue the day that she embarked on this path and listened to the likes of dark who for some reason is hell bent on cheering her on to her self destruction. As someone else said, even if he were to leave his wife for the OP their relationship would most likely not survive. There would be too much pain and destruction left in their wake.

 

OP I'm not sure why you are sharing sexual texts with this guy. I have an ex whom I still love and we still talk from time to time and occasionally visit each other as he lives in a different city now. I don't do sex texting with him because even though we are both single that's not my style. I'm not a masturbation aid. But even if I did engage in that kind of behavior with my ex, the moment he got seriously involved or married to another there would be no more of that from me. Forget it! Nobody uses me that way. Thankfully my ex isn't the type to behave that way, which is why we can still be friends. He's got a lot of problems but being a cheater and user isn't among them.

 

Why are you not placing a higher value on yourself? He hasn't expressed any great words of regret or love to you. He hasn't said that letting you go and getting married to another was the biggest mistake he ever made and now he wants to set things right. Instead he throws out some sex texts to you and you eagerly lap that up like a starving animal. What happened to all the pride you had a couple of years ago? You refused to accept bad behaviour then, but now you're willing to lower yourself to sex texting and possibly an affair? Why? All you're doing when you respond to his cheap flirting and sexting is letting him know that your game to being used. That you don't care that he's married and he's going to make you his dirty secret. Right now you are teaching him that he doesn't have to respect you or value you because you come cheap and easy. You have said your bit to him, now walk away. He knows you still care about him and if he has genuine feelings for you he will know what he has to do.

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big bear Established Member

big bear

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I read your original post and the last post.. sorry I am not patient enough to follow 21 pages..

 

Let me tell you this sexting and affairs only lead to pain.. believe me I have not been in your shoes but something similar..

 

It will only lead to pin for all.. keeping life simple is the way out.. Black and White lead to closure.. You allow the colour grey to come in life you complicate and you end up losing everything..

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Alexanda Established Member

Alexanda

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I have not read this whole thread, but I just want to say that you should just let this guy go and move on. Nothing good ever comes out of people having affairs.

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Searchin81 Established Member

Searchin81

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well.. who knows what will happen.. I think i should move on.. but i don't think i should ignore him IF he text again and i probably wont! At this point i don't think thats going to occur lol i think i scared him!

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Searchin81 Established Member

Searchin81

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What if an ex text you a picture of someone and said it reminds me of u, and you look alike....

EgoJoe Established Member

EgoJoe

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This entire thread could have been avoided if the OP had just taken responsibility for her actions, realized that they had consequences and that her Ex is just as misguided and selfish as her and go to therapy.

 

But nope that would be too easy!

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Phanpooh Established Member

Phanpooh

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That is what did i mean at begin XD her first supporters believed that that was sth about GIGS and sth like "crawling back on knees". That is too good to be happen!

Im young and im sorry if im not polited now but that is what happen and some "mature" here still dun get it, this OP is exactly confused but that cause of wrong advise at begin. Now time to wake up, (again?) you just come here and check people reactions about your act, you dk what right or wrong but want to do some? If you love him, let him go. If you dont love him, let him go too.

PS: im sorry, i will respect "you" more next time

Dark Phoenix Established Member

Dark Phoenix

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This entire thread could have been avoided if the OP had just taken responsibility for her actions, realized that they had consequences and that her Ex is just as misguided and selfish as her and go to therapy.

 

But nope that would be too easy!

 

Pot calling kettle black? Your actions and behavior now mirror those of her and her ex a year ago. Are you in therapy?

Joaquin Established Member

Joaquin

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That is what did i mean at begin XD her first supporters believed that that was sth about GIGS and sth like "crawling back on knees". That is too good to be happen!

Im young and im sorry if im not polited now but that is what happen and some "mature" here still dun get it, this OP is exactly confused but that cause of wrong advise at begin. Now time to wake up, (again?) you just come here and check people reactions about your act, you dk what right or wrong but want to do some? time

 

I think this summarizes this thread perfectly.

Dark Phoenix Established Member

Dark Phoenix

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What if an ex text you a picture of someone and said it reminds me of u, and you look alike....

 

Everyone he dates, is interested in, falls in love with, etc he's going to compare to you. You are his measuring stick

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Searchin81 Established Member

Searchin81

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The picture was not of his wife but of someone else LOL

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Searchin81 Established Member

Searchin81

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I will answer him regardless of what anyone here says.. so that shouldn't even be a discussion. Anytime he text me he will get a response. I will never stop talking to him again by my own accord until the day i die.

 

Sorry but I know i have it up on his wife in every possible way. Looks, Smarts, Personality, Career, You name it.. From what i heard she hardly even talks to his family. Some in his own family told me they thought he "Settled" for her.

Dark Phoenix Established Member

Dark Phoenix

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There was never a doubt in my mind about either of those things.

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Searchin81 Established Member

Searchin81

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Its just a great feeling when you have his own family telling me they thought he settled and could have done better and that they would have chosen me easily.

Dark Phoenix Established Member

Dark Phoenix

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holding pattern... i was joking around with a coworker at work tonight and she understands the term holding pattern (shes in one right now waiting for her ex to clean up his act)... give yourself a couple months and you will understand its meaning as well. That marriage was over before it began

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Searchin81 Established Member

Searchin81

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explain holding pattern to me lol?

But ya he even sent a picture to me of some girl that reminds him of me that he knows.

BewitchedandBothered Established Member

BewitchedandBothered

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Its just a great feeling when you have his own family telling me they thought he settled and could have done better and that they would have chosen me easily.

How sweet of them to cushion the blow like that for you.

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Searchin81 Established Member

Searchin81

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lol no cushion blow! ha one of them was trying to hook up with me behind his back! LMAO..

alexandria35 Established Member

alexandria35

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lol no cushion blow! ha one of them was trying to hook up with me behind his back! LMAO..

 

WHOOOOSH........thats the sound of all the good advice you've been given flying right over your little head.

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Searchin81 Established Member

Searchin81

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if i keep flirting with my ex will he give in and want me to put out?

dsw31 Established Member

dsw31

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if i keep flirting with my ex will he give in and want me to put out?

 

Like I said before...that's all you're gonna get from him.

Considering how much you love him,wouldn't that just hurt you more?

  • 2 months later...
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Searchin81 Established Member

Searchin81

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Update.. We have not text since the end of may... I thought that was the end of it...I gave it my best, and decided to leave everything to fate.. Well this week, after almost three months he has reached out to me in small and In direct ways...

ginastar Established Member

ginastar

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explain more..............

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Searchin81 Established Member

Searchin81

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A few text that say nothing emotional or important but about things we used to like.. And a few things on Facebook through mutual friends and pokes ect

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