Should I talk to my ex, or just leave him alone?

[blutoj]

I've got a question pertaining to my ex boyfriend, and what exactly I should do.

 

Okay, here's my problem.

 

 

We're both in high school. Well, he just graduated. I still have a year to go. We dated for over a year and a half. When we met, we hit it off right away and fell deeply in love. However, a few months before he broke up with me, we started to drift apart, and the passion just sort of went away. This had everything to do with him being stressed about graduating, and me dealing with depression. A few months before, something had happened in my family, and the tension and anger that was going on at home started to drift into other aspects of my life a.k.a my relationship.

 

 

Anyway, he broke up with me because he said he felt as if he wasn't making me happy, and he was tired of trying because it wasn't getting any results. When he said his, we both cried, and walked away broken hearted. This was about two months ago. I asked him the next day if there was any chance for us, and he said that, yes, there was. But at the moment, he made the decision to be single, and he didn't want to flip flop. I respected this decision, and agreed that it would do us good to spend some time to get acquainted with friends we put aside for our relationship and just get used to being independent from one another again (All his friends are going out of state for college, and he probably won't see them again). I asked him when would be a good time to re-open the question of weather or not we should be in a relationship again, and he said after school starts, when summer vacation is over.

 

Since we broke up, we still remained in contact. Well, we sorta had to. We were taking a university class together, so it's not like we could avoid each other. And the weird thing is that we actually got along much better than when we were together. It was like the comfort of being in a relationship was gone, so we had to interact like friends, and being friendly was not at all hard. Anyway, a week ago Monday was the last day of our class, hence the last day I had a reason to see him. He was very affectionate, but not really in a romantic way. We laughed together and reminisced on the good days. He told me he was really going to miss me this summer, and that he had an incredible year with me, and he was so sorry it didn't work out in the end. Before we left, he embraced me in a hug and would not let go until I pulled away and ran off (I was sort of crying and didn't want him to see) Anyway, we haven't spoken since, and I'm at a loss of what to do.

 

I really want to ask him for another chance, because we got along so well after we broke up, and the chemistry we had was unmistakably great. Plus, I still am crazy about him. I just feel like I'd be diminishing my self respect asking the boy who broke up with me for another chance. He said we maybe could get together when school started again, but that's months away! I really don't want to wait that long on a “maybe.” He's going out of town for about a month in July, and I kinda want to ask him before. I'm not going to ask him to be my boyfriend, yet, but just to see if things can grow into something more. I know I was a hard person to be with, because I let my personal problems get in the way of our relationship, and I know I made him miserable for that. I'm doing much better now. All that was bothering me at home previously has been resolved, and I'm a 100% happier person for it. I just got comfortable in our relationship, took him for granted, and didn't really try to keep any spark alive. I know my downfalls and really want to know what's it's like being with him, with this whole new perspective and appreciation.

 

I've come to terms with the fact that we may never be together again, and I'm okay with that. I know there will be a million other chances to be happy, and I'm not naïve thinking this was it. But I still cant get over the time I lost being depressed and angry, and I just can't ignore how well we really get along. I just want to know what to do. (He said if anything were to happen, I should be the one to ask him, since he asked me the first time) Should I ask him? What do you think I should say? Is this something really worth perusing, or should I just let it go?

[Krytie TV]

Unless you specifically did something to hurt him, you should NEVER have to ask someone for a second chance. This is where your learning begins. You can choose to let others keep you emotionally stunted, or you can choose to learn what it takes to be self assured and "worthy".

 

First, he chose to make you the reason he broke up with you. That's right... HE broke up with YOU. What's worse is that he was such a coward that he tried to push the blame onto you. If he's unhappy that's one thing, but that's on him. He knew you were going through a tough time and chose to bail. Good for him I guess. But don't you dare let him make you think that you need to make it up to him or "earn" him back. He chose to put off wearing his big boy pants, and that's a totally fair decision on his part. A decision he should have to learn to face the consequences of.

 

You say: I just feel like I'd be diminishing my self respect asking the boy who broke up with me for another chance. Bingo baby. You are most correct. This is also an opportunity for you to learn the intricacies of human interaction. You got along so well this last year because you are not together. Do not assume for one second that would remain the same if you were to begin dating again.

 

You sound like a bright girl. Don't be afraid to take that brightness elsewhere. One thing you may or may not learn for yourself is that when something is meant to be with someone else, it feels absolutely effortless. When you spend a large portion of every day wondering how something can be made to work, it has already started failing.

 

Cheer up. Get a hobby. Enjoy your summer. You have sooooooooooooo much time to enjoy yourself. Don't let your failed high school relationship put a drag on the rest of your life. There is more, you know. And when you find yourself with someone that makes you think there couldn't possibly be more, then you have found the one.

[lynbetz]

If you still love him, try and get him back!!! Don't give up unless you know he is trully over you. My grandparents have been together 60 years they were highschool sweethearts. Do what it take if you still love him and he still loves you you have to try!