polish26 Posted May 14, 2012 Posted May 14, 2012 In order to give you as much detail as possible here is my story 3+ year relationship ended hard time letting go The past two weeks, my ex has been coming around with the dog I helped raise, and train, who I love very much. Now, we have been mainly NC because I can't stand the site of her and what she has become in my eyes mainly due to how she has been acting since the break up and parading around with a new guy who I have to work with every day. But back to the main topic, we are NC, except for some unknown reason she texts me to let me know when she is two doors down at my neighbors house with her (formerly our) dog. While I do love seeing the dog, that means I will have to see her, which I guess is ok but I know it isn't good for me because it reminds me of how I don't get to see this big puppy of mine everyday and how she broke my heart just to go off with another man.... or at the very least this is my understanding... I'm honestly just at a loss for words right now, and positive thoughts because I don't understand why she thinks I would really want to be reminded of past memories. I do love the dog very much, but I don't understand why she bothers to text me. I have erased her number but I have eidetic memory so I can instantly recall that it is her number I am receiving the message from and that there is only one dog I would want to see. I just need some advice because this bothers me, because I try to stay out of her life and have really been working on myself as much as possible. For some reason though this has just been bothering me since I received the message and ended up running into the both of them when taking out the garbage. To fill you in a bit more, I have had one civil conversation with her before, and I did cave and see the dog because I missed him and that was one week ago. While seeing the dog made me happy, it also made me realize that I am very disconnected with my emotions towards him, he's just another dog at this point. While I try to treat her as just some other person at this point, she is still a source of pain and a constant reminder of how much she destroyed my ability to be single because of the incurable STD she gave me. I guess the question I am asking is, how do I deal with this properly? Do I remain NC when it comes to the dog? (that is what I am doing now) Why is she telling me when she is around with the dog? Is she trying to somehow use the dog to be able to see me? Does she like reminding me that we aren't what we were? Any type of feedback would be greatly appreciated, as I just want to keep things as they are. We aren't meant for each other, and I will never get back together with her after all that she has put me through. I just hate having these questions on my mind! As always thank you to all in advance!
TaraMaiden Posted May 14, 2012 Posted May 14, 2012 I guess the question I am asking is, how do I deal with this properly? delete all her details and contact number form your phone, or block her number. Do I remain NC when it comes to the dog? (that is what I am doing now) no, get your own dog. Why is she telling me when she is around with the dog? why really, are you asking such (excuse me) dumb questions? Is she trying to somehow use the dog to be able to see me? No, she's using the dog to get under your skin and keep goading you and provoking you. Does she like reminding me that we aren't what we were? why do you care? you shouldn't even care! you really shouldn't even be asking these questions, you should just be implementing No Contact and all that entails - read my signature guide, for the 100% effective way to do that, btw..... Any type of feedback would be greatly appreciated, as I just want to keep things as they are. We aren't meant for each other, and I will never get back together with her after all that she has put me through. I just hate having these questions on my mind! The more you fall at her feet and prostrate yourself before her, the less you'll get over it. Just stop responding. Because you have a choice, and you don't have to. it really is that simple. If you don't bite the bait, you won't land in her boat, hooked flailing and helpless, will you? 1
CC12 Posted May 14, 2012 Posted May 14, 2012 Is she trying to somehow use the dog to be able to see me? Does she like reminding me that we aren't what we were? I don't know. Maybe. Is she generally a manipulative person? Whatever, though, it seems like she's just giving you opportunities to see the dog you love (or are indifferent to, I guess? Which is it?) It seems like a nice gesture. If you don't care about seeing the dog, then there's no reason to keep talking to her.
Author polish26 Posted May 14, 2012 Author Posted May 14, 2012 I guess I should elaborate a bit more. I have erased all information of her in my phone, I just have eidetic memory so I can recognize it when it comes through. I did miss the dog up until I saw it the previous time, which provided me with a bit more closure because I realized that even though I spent so much time with him, I no longer needed him which in turn lead to me realizing I no longer need her. However, I made it perfectly clear as to why I don't want to see her at that point since I wanted and needed my time and space to heal. I guess I just had a lot on my mind last night that resurfaced because even though I tried to avoid the situation I ran into it outside my front door, which I wasn't very appreciative of. However, I did follow Caliguy's guide to NC and the rule about LC. For the most part, I have done NC even though we work together and have mutual friends, LC is no good for me because she is a waste of time in my opinion, because all she does is lie. So, I put a smile on my face and went about the rest of my evening with friends, but towards the end of the night the thoughts started rolling in and I needed some outside opinions. Thank you for being blunt and to the point, I always have appreciated direct answers
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