MissBrunette84 Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/325209-off-long-term-relationship My back story if anyone is interested. I ended up sending an E-mail. I just felt awful because when we broke up, although it was only 9 days ago . I did end up sending a big email saying how badly he's treated me and basically everything I'd kept to myself about things I'd let out. My friend unknown to me also sent him a text saying he treated me really bad and that I deserve so much better. I did get a reply to that via Email that said ' I'm sorry, I know I;ve treated you so unfairly, but I don't want to mess you around and want you to find someone who really deserves you' So I kinda left it until today, I just told him that I was sorry for being harsh, that I was sorry things didnt work out. I didn't want him to feel guilty and I would be happy for him if he has or when he does move on. I wished him well and said good bye. I have changed my number, blocked his emails so he cant reply. I just feel sad. Really sad and I know its over its just awful .
Zabs Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 Hey Miss, It is sad to realise that the end of something that once made you so happy is over. It sounds like you have done the best thing 1) for your self esteem and 2) ending the relationship on an accepting note. Those that are in denial suffer much longer and deeper in the end. Life is for living though babygirl and the best thing to do is to keep busy. Many people find that when in a relationship, they kinda forget who they are..find out who you are, learn and explore different things...you will find much satisfaction in the end..but above all, accept that it is ok to feel how you do..never berate yourself for not having seen things sooner, recovered quicker etc..things happen for a reason. Much love, Zabs xx
Author MissBrunette84 Posted May 8, 2012 Author Posted May 8, 2012 Hey Zabs Thank you for your reply, I do accept it because we've broke up and gotten back together a ridiculous amount of times, all done by him though. I just think if I go around thinking we'll be back together I'll just give myself bad anxiety and hold out for a big disappointment. So yeah, it is hard, but I try to accept it. Even if he came back, it wouldn't work out again because its all over the place. I know I have to let it go. It hurts, but like you say I have to try and re focus on myself. I'm a musician and in a band so I try to keep that up as much as I can. Its just hard to think somebody that has been in your life for 4 years almost is gone and just like that. Maybe in the future in a few years we could be friends who knows, maybe then we'd have grown as people too.
geegirl Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 Hey Zabs Thank you for your reply, I do accept it because we've broke up and gotten back together a ridiculous amount of times, all done by him though. I just think if I go around thinking we'll be back together I'll just give myself bad anxiety and hold out for a big disappointment. So yeah, it is hard, but I try to accept it. Even if he came back, it wouldn't work out again because its all over the place. I know I have to let it go. It hurts, but like you say I have to try and re focus on myself. I'm a musician and in a band so I try to keep that up as much as I can. Its just hard to think somebody that has been in your life for 4 years almost is gone and just like that. Maybe in the future in a few years we could be friends who knows, maybe then we'd have grown as people too. He did a kind thing for you. He let you go gently and wished for you to find what you deserve. That isn't what most would do. It's good that you both ended amicably and that in itself will make detaching much easier for you. It's very sad, a break up is close to grieving the death of a loved one. It's a process. While it is normal to still be hopeful it will most likely fade away in time as you start coming to terms with the reality. Yes, maybe when the emotional attachment has faded and both of you have truly moved on with your lives, you can reconnect again and have him in your life in some capacity. For now, be good to yourself. Try to distract and keep your mind occupied. Seek the comfort of your friends and family. Post her to vent or purge your feelings. I hope you heal and recover soon.
Author MissBrunette84 Posted May 9, 2012 Author Posted May 9, 2012 He is always nice about things and respects me that way. Although I've had an absolutely awful day today. I have not stopped crying
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