my confession

[xpaperxcutx]

Before anyone tells me agin they told me so, i think my wound has already frstered without the added insults.

He played me and I was an idiot. There were so many signs but when you think you you like someone you're always easily blinded. Yet he kept dispensing breadcrumbs and like a child wanting more I allowed those meager crumbs to sway my reasons and judgments.

I cried last night. After he continuosly texted me promise after promise yet when I called him he refused to pick up the phone. He told me he can't talk but he will fix this and and that eventually he ",promises" to explain everything. His promises hve no value.

So I cried because the worst that a man can do to a woman is to hurt her. So now that everytime i think about him I will remind myseld of the tears that I've shed. And those tears are precious because their worth reminds me that I deserve more better than this. And I know my tears will always have more value then his empty promises.

[january2011]

I'm sorry you're hurting xpaperxcutx. Hopefully, the lessons you learned with this one will be able to help you to stay away from guys like him in the future.

 

This song helped me when I felt like I'd had enough of crying:

 

[Mme. Chaucer]

I'm sorry you feel so bad. I am not saying "I told you so." I do hope that you will carry this experience with you (without beating yourself up) to remind you in the future to heed strong signs. The input of other people is helpful for you to sort out whether the signs are valid or products of your own insecurities.

 

I guess I think you kind of need to think that you told YOURSELF so. Because you did - or you would not have been posting here about all of your misgivings.

 

If you want to be in a real and positive relationship, I promise you it won't be starting out the way this one did. I'm quite positive of that.

[xpaperxcutx]

Thanks.

I forgot to mention that after crying myself to sleep I got a call from him at two. I didn't pick up because it hung up after two ring. I didn't think much about it because I tried to keep my mind off him by spending the day at the gym and being more productive with my time.

My best firend told me he's being a jerk and while I agree I also feel like there's a reason for why he's acting the way he is. If I obsessively think about this then I know I'm doing myself a disservice so I haven't. I'm not grieving anymore although I habve to admit I'm slightly confused by the way he's acting.

[Professor X]

The only one who makes you feel bad is you. As Einstein once said "Insanity - doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

 

Thankyou for the weekly thread (16 threads about him in 2 months! wow!).

[CopingGal]

Sorry you are hurting. Here's a hug {{{}}}

[threebyfate]

xpaper, this guy rang my warning bell since his little temper tantrum at not getting laid a long time ago so I've pretty much stayed out of your threads since.

 

Ditch the loser.

[whichwayisup]

Before anyone tells me agin they told me so, i think my wound has already frstered without the added insults.

He played me and I was an idiot. There were so many signs but when you think you you like someone you're always easily blinded. Yet he kept dispensing breadcrumbs and like a child wanting more I allowed those meager crumbs to sway my reasons and judgments.

I cried last night. After he continuosly texted me promise after promise yet when I called him he refused to pick up the phone. He told me he can't talk but he will fix this and and that eventually he ",promises" to explain everything. His promises hve no value.

So I cried because the worst that a man can do to a woman is to hurt her. So now that everytime i think about him I will remind myseld of the tears that I've shed. And those tears are precious because their worth reminds me that I deserve more better than this. And I know my tears will always have more value then his empty promises.

 

Sometimes people ignore their guts and let the heart and emotions take over. You got burned..Everybody does (or did in their past) at some point in their lives.

 

Sorry that you're hurting. And yes, you deserve better! Just you won't ever get that from him. What a fuc.khead he is...He isn't worth of your tears, but I do get that you love him, even if he is wrong for you.

[xpaperxcutx]

xpaper, this guy rang my warning bell since his little temper tantrum at not getting laid a long time ago so I've pretty much stayed out of your threads since.

 

Ditch the loser.

 

Temper tantrum? He didn't throw any temper tantrums.

[threebyfate]

Temper tantrum? He didn't throw any temper tantrums.

This thread.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/315510-what-does-say-about-him-2.html

[Star Gazer]

Temper tantrum? He didn't throw any temper tantrums.

 

Right. You did though, as a sort of defense mechanism - a test, if you will.

 

But you'll never really know why he failed that test (because he doesn't take well to emotional drama/manipulation, or because he's not cut out for a relationship, or something else).

 

I'm sorry you're hurting, and I do hope you learn from this. If I don't think he played you. You aren't a victim here.

[xpaperxcutx]

Sometimes people ignore their guts and let the heart and emotions take over. You got burned..Everybody does (or did in their past) at some point in their lives.

 

Sorry that you're hurting. And yes, you deserve better! Just you won't ever get that from him. What a fuc.khead he is...He isn't worth of your tears, but I do get that you love him, even if he is wrong for you.

 

It's funny,everytime I tell my friends I " loved him" they didn't believe me. They told me it was because I put him on a pedestal and focused so much energy on him, had I have other options at the time I wouldn't have grown so attached.

 

For a time too, I almost believed he felt the same way I did.

[Daniel Kaiser]

Hey,

 

Are you sure he really hurt you? Are you sure his promises are empty? Because my ex says the same about me, and I can tell you I didn't mean to hurt her at all.

 

Sometimes, all we want is to be understood. But are we as willing to understand others, as we are eager to be understood?

 

In her eyes, in her mind, it was obvious and clear that I should have ridden my life of a person for the sake of our relationship. In my eyes, it was clear she had to trust me and not ask for something like that, out of jealousy.

 

In the end, she felt betrayed, told me I was a lier, cried and felt like I hurt her, when in fact, she was the one causing drama on the relationship out of jealousy. Even so, I can understand how she felt, why it was so hard to deal with that situation, but at the same time, I couldn't do what she asked me to do, and it ended just like that

[xpaperxcutx]

Right. You did though, as a sort of defense mechanism - a test, if you will.

 

But you'll never really know why he failed that test (because he doesn't take well to emotional drama/manipulation, or because he's not cut out for a relationship, or something else).

 

I'm sorry you're hurting, and I do hope you learn from this. If I don't think he played you. You aren't a victim here.

 

The underlined.

 

I agree I did test him, I pushed him very hard and I guess him acting the way he did was the breaking point. I'm not a victim never said I was but I was stupid knowing that there was a well there and I still jumped in.

 

I didn't mean "played" in the sense he did any PUA on me. I meant he played me in the sense where when I was ready to be with him he took the cowardly way out.

[xpaperxcutx]

Hey,

 

Are you sure he really hurt you? Are you sure his promises are empty? Because my ex says the same about me, and I can tell you I didn't mean to hurt her at all.

 

Sometimes, all we want is to be understood. But are we as willing to understand others, as we are eager to be understood?

 

In her eyes, in her mind, it was obvious and clear that I should have ridden my life of a person for the sake of our relationship. In my eyes, it was clear she had to trust me and not ask for something like that, out of jealousy.

 

In the end, she felt betrayed, told me I was a lier, cried and felt like I hurt her, when in fact, she was the one causing drama on the relationship out of jealousy. Even so, I can understand how she felt, why it was so hard to deal with that situation, but at the same time, I couldn't do what she asked me to do, and it ended just like that

 

Hey daniel. I get what you're saying and I suppose our situation were the same. I admit I did cause alot of drama early on, I kept testing him because I was insecure. As for him hurting me, yes he did hurt me. His promises meant nothing because he chose to end things the way he did. If I remind myself how it ended then I would end up back at square one overthinking about his intentions.

 

Basically what happened was, I last saw him the previous Sunday night. We spent it together but in the morning we got into a little argument about going out for breakfast together. We haven't talked since that day. I didn't hear from him all week so I contacted him and every call went to voicemail. This past Sunday night, he texted me he was going to call me yet, I waited until midnight and didn't hear a peep from him. I called him and I still got his voicemail. He texted me back he couldn't talk but he was going to fix " this" and that eventually, he will explain everything to me.

I called him again, and again he didn't pick even though he was clearly by his phone. I texted him no more promises and i had enough. That was my last and final text to him. I went to bed crying and he woke me up calling me at 2 in the morning.

[kaylan]

And to think in the beginning you werent even attracted to the dude.

 

Meh, live and learn...youre young and all of this experience will make dating easier in the future.

 

Good luck.

[xpaperxcutx]

And to think in the beginning you werent even attracted to the dude.

 

Meh, live and learn...youre young and all of this experience will make dating easier in the future.

 

Good luck.

 

There's ba saying.. men go in looking for sex and finds love and women go in lookinf for love only to find sex.

[kaylan]

Yeah Ive heard that saying. While it does apply to some people I do think plenty of people dont fit into the saying.

 

There are a lot of guys out there looking for love. Just gotta find them and make the right selections is all.

 

For me, the two times Ive been in love I had went into those situations open to it and in the end found sex. Now I know which women to avoid and which women to seek out.

 

Its all good. If anything, everything with baseball guy will teach you to cut the cord when flags go up in the beginning. If someone doesnt meet your needs from now on, just bail.

[xpaperxcutx]

I

Yeah Ive heard that saying. While it does apply to some people I do think plenty of people dont fit into the saying.

 

There are a lot of guys out there looking for love. Just gotta find them and make the right selections is all.

 

For me, the two times Ive been in love I had went into those situations open to it and in the end found sex. Now I know which women to avoid and which women to seek out.

 

Its all good. If anything, everything with baseball guy will teach you to cut the cord when flags go up in the beginning. If someone doesnt meet your needs from now on, just bail.

 

I try to avoid stereotyping people and I don't believe that e

Mr. Baseball was a jerk... he just slowly ended becoming one. I have my own faults too and its not like I didn't make it worse.

[Mme. Chaucer]

What you described doesn't sound like somebody playing somebody. It sounds like people who are not compatible. At all.

 

Can you understand that the constant, incessant fighting and pushing was NOT GOOD?

 

It's possible that he finally just had enough of it.

 

That doesn't mean he played you. He may have - I don't know. He might even have another girl. No idea. But the stuff you have shared about your interactions sound to me like blasting blaring signals all over the place that the two of you don't get along at all and that your attempt at a relationship got off to a horrible start that was not redeemable.

 

So he checked out.

 

You know, paper, lots of people have said this many different ways on your threads about the guy, but that kind of fighting is not okay for most people. For some reason it seems to be okay for you. I understand that; I used to feel like volatile relationships were the only "real" ones. But that's not true. If you persist, you will either end up with only emotionally sick guys, or you will end up being left behind by other guys because they don't want that kind of fighting and drama every moment.

 

There are certainly things worth fighting over when people are in a committed relationship. In the early stages, fighting has NO place. If it's happening, its a big flashing sign that the people are not matching up well. That's what I believe, anyway.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Originally Posted by kaylan

 

There are a lot of guys out there looking for love. Just gotta find them and make the right selections is all.

 

For me, the two times Ive been in love I had went into those situations open to it and in the end found sex. Now I know which women to avoid and which women to seek out.

 

Its all good. If anything, everything with baseball guy will teach you to cut the cord when flags go up in the beginning. If someone doesnt meet your needs from now on, just bail.

OTE=xpaperxcutx;3962591]I

 

I try to avoid stereotyping people and I don't believe that e

Mr. Baseball was a jerk... he just slowly ended becoming one. I have my own faults too and its not like I didn't make it worse.

 

Kayan didn't suggest he was a jerk at all. He said that when a guy is not meeting your needs, move on! That says nothing about the guy's character.

[Eternal Sunshine]

I don't think that he played you based on what you describe here.

 

It just shows incompatible communication styles. The fact that he was by the phone and not picking up but was responding through text doesn't automatically point to games.

 

I was that person, before I lived with my ex. We would have fights like that and he would keep calling me 20 times in few hours and I would ignore the phone but would respond through text. I needed some time to think and compose myself so that I wouldn't act out of anger and frustration. He saw it as playing games and manipulation and was incredibly pissed that I just wouldn't communicate. When we lived together, we had similar type of fights. Only then he would scream at me while I sat on the couch completely silent. He just didn't get my need for space and time-out and in turn I didn't get his need for *constant* communication and the fact that he wasn't giving me the space that I requested.

 

These are just some basic incompatibilities and can't really be resolved easily, nor are worth it at this early stage.

[xxoo]

I meant he played me in the sense where when I was ready to be with him he took the cowardly way out.

 

You mean you think he was intentionally avoiding you, instead of breaking it off?

 

I don't think he would have engaged in all those arguments, and taken you back after major blowouts, if that were the case.

 

I do believe he lacks emotional maturity himself. No stable guy will keep going back to that drama, so early in a relationship. The two of you were the perfect storm of relationship issues

[xpaperxcutx]

You mean you think he was intentionally avoiding you, instead of breaking it off?

 

I don't think he would have engaged in all those arguments, and taken you back after major blowouts, if that were the case.

 

I do believe he lacks emotional maturity himself. No stable guy will keep going back to that drama, so early in a relationship. The two of you were the perfect storm of relationship issues

 

he didn't break it off he chose to avoid me. he never said lets break up. he made me make tht decision for us even when I didn't want to.

[xpaperxcutx]

I wish this thread didn't warrant an update but we talked last night. he kept trying to tell me he was avoidong me because he was scared of getting too attached to me and he considered me ab obstacle to his hos baseball career. yet the next day he hardly bothered to contact me at all. he keeps pulling at my heartstring and I dk what to do. I know for a fact now he's being a liar because if he did care he would make it work.