Imajerk17 Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 (edited) Scheduled a first date with a woman for next weekend (not this coming weekend) as her best friend is coming into town. We are supposed to go hiking. Then I get an email from her today saying that her best friend wants to meet me to make sure that I am safe. (She prefaces and says that her best friend is a little over-protective). Hmmm..... This woman is 34 by the way, and doesn't *seem* to be a helpless waif.... The trail we are going on has lots of people too! Edited April 19, 2012 by Imajerk17
SmileFace Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 Have you met her before? I mean either way this isn't normal. A text to her friend on the date will suffice. Shrugs - weitd
Author Imajerk17 Posted April 19, 2012 Author Posted April 19, 2012 Have you met her before? I mean either way this isn't normal. A text to her friend on the date will suffice. Shrugs - weitd No--first date. Match. So you're saying weird on her end?
Lovely Girl Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 Umm... yeah that is weird! If she was a teenager or early 20s maybe ok, but I still wouldn't tell the guy that. I would have the guy meet me in a public place and have a friend waiting at a table somewhere, just in case the guy is loony. Please answer mine. I need a guys input: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/322348-he-asked-my-number-but-he-just-being-nice
SmileFace Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 No--first date. Match. So you're saying weird on her end? No it is weird on her end. I understand that she may be wary of a online date with a "stranger" but that doesn't mean her friends needs to meet you. Have you guys spoke on the phone/ webcam? That may help her feel a little more secure. Also it may help to suggest a less secluded location for a first meet.
Author Imajerk17 Posted April 19, 2012 Author Posted April 19, 2012 No it is weird on her end. I understand that she may be wary of a online date with a "stranger" but that doesn't mean her friends needs to meet you. Have you guys spoke on the phone/ webcam? That may help her feel a little more secure. Also it may help to suggest a less secluded location for a first meet. We spoke for a couple hours the other night. I'm not usually one for long phone conversations, but it was just going, so.... She does know that the trail has a lot of people, far as I know. It's in a well-populated suburban area. We're meeting at the trail.
SmileFace Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 Well it's up to you. I personally wouldn't bring along a friend or even suggest it. ****, if her friend has this much say now - can you imagine if you started dated? 1
Author Imajerk17 Posted April 19, 2012 Author Posted April 19, 2012 I think I'm going to say that I don't do group first dates, but if she would rather meet for coffee (or I'll think of something more low-key yet a little more original) for the first time, we can do this instead. 3
january2011 Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 Er no... While there's a certain logic in staying safe when meeting online dating prospects, I'd be concerned that she runs by every life decision (or at least every relationship decision) via her friend. However, if you think she has potential, you might have to go along with this. If her friend joins you, then you might even suggest making it a foursome. Otherwise, having a chaperone on a first date for a 34-year old woman does seem rather odd. Unless it's an issue of cultural upbrining. 3
Author Imajerk17 Posted April 19, 2012 Author Posted April 19, 2012 Umm... yeah that is weird! If she was a teenager or early 20s maybe ok, but I still wouldn't tell the guy that. I would have the guy meet me in a public place and have a friend waiting at a table somewhere, just in case the guy is loony. Please answer mine. I need a guys input: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/322348-he-asked-my-number-but-he-just-being-nice Done. Edited and Re-edited a few times since....
namenottaken Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 (edited) Definitely weird; I would never do that. What is her friend going to be able to tell about you (in the few minutes you might meet her) that this woman can’t judge for herself? Is her friend psychic? If she doesn’t feel safe going hiking, then she should simply just state that. Sounds like she is immature, and looking for her friend’s ‘validation’ of you. Edited April 19, 2012 by namenottaken 1
Author Imajerk17 Posted April 19, 2012 Author Posted April 19, 2012 (edited) I had given her my last name too. I mean, I have nothing to hide.... Edited April 19, 2012 by Imajerk17
snug.bunny Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 Maybe from her perspective, since she is going hiking with someone she is not at all familiar with (aside from online communication), that is why she is bringing a friend along. I think if you were meeting at a more "public" venue, she may feel more at ease. I don't think at this point, you should take it personally. Maybe she's watched one too many Investigative ID episodes and she's just being a wee bit paranoid. I watch that channel a lot sometimes, and it can bug me out at times, but, I realize that's when I need to stop watching it.
RedRobin Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 I don't think it is wierd at all. I agree with the other poster that something non-secluded would be better for a first meeting. I've had guys ask me to go on long hikes for a first date. They were all about getting in the sack ASAP and so were trying to create an atmosphere of instant intimacy. She might also want your first meeting to be more casual. She doesn't even know if she wants anything romantic. Call it a pseudo - Meetup event. No big deal.
dasein Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 Most likely yeah, too much stranger danger. Wouldn't be a dealbreaker for me, just annoying. However, are you sure she isn't prepping for a possible threesome with you and her friend? Stranger things have happened and it is OLD after all. Could be your shot at a champion Penthouse Forum story "Trail of Pleasure" 2
Author Imajerk17 Posted April 19, 2012 Author Posted April 19, 2012 I don't think it is wierd at all. I agree with the other poster that something non-secluded would be better for a first meeting. I've had guys ask me to go on long hikes for a first date. They were all about getting in the sack ASAP and so were trying to create an atmosphere of instant intimacy. She might also want your first meeting to be more casual. She doesn't even know if she wants anything romantic. Call it a pseudo - Meetup event. No big deal. Perhaps. --We did talk on the phone for a couple of hours before I proposed hiking. --I included in my first email to her--after the phone call--the email had the trail details--of a Plan B that involved something like dinner (if it rained next weekend). --I gave her my last name. --We were supposed to meet at the trail. --And her friend wanted to meet me this weekend (not next when we would go hiking) when she was in town.
veggirl Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 Well, so she's not cancelling your hiking date, she's offering a meet up sooner than you planned. I think it sounds okay when it's put like that--if meeting her friend and her was in LIEU of your date, I'd have a problem with it. But the scenario as presented (you go out with her and her friend this weekend, then hiking with her alone next) sounds okay to me.
iris219 Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 Maybe she's so excited to meet you that she can't wait until next weekend.
RedRobin Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 I have suggested bringing a friend to a first meeting before. Mostly as a way to slow things down. I had been on one too many first meetings where a nice conversation ended up with the guy trying to get too physical. Having someone else there gives her a chance to check out any possible 'chemistry' without feeling any pressure. I wouldn't exactly call it a chaperone. It is a first meeting. If you two hit it off in person, you can then go on a real 'date'.
threebyfate Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 Why would anyone agree to go hiking on a first date? This I find more odd than asking a friend to meet you first. The entire sitch is strange. 1
serial muse Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 Honestly...I like the concept of hiking on a date, but I think I too might hesitate to go out on a trail with someone I didn't know at all. I would want at least an hour or two in this person's company first, to get a sense of him. So I guess I get the hesitation. That said...I really doubt that her friend is going to determine whether you're a psycho killer, any better than she herself could. So that part doesn't make much sense. The question is whether this woman is really nervous, or whether she's just letting her friend get a look at ya. If the former, then I think it's reasonable to have a first date in a public place, and save the hiking for date #3, after she's had a chance to explore her "Blink" response to you. (and assuming there is a date #3) But the friend thing is just weird.
oaks Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 I assume the friend has a certificate in spotting axe murderers or something, so if you do meet this friend, be sure to raise your arms and invite him/her to frisk you for axes. When none are found, be sure to dismiss the friend ("you can go now") for doing a good job. Personally, I would object by saying that seems a bit unusual for a date and then suggest meeting somewhere else where she would be more comfortable meeting without her friend, but if she really needs her friend there then she can do the walk with her friend while I go and look for an adult to date. 1
threebyfate Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 Sure, I've been and enjoyed hiking on dates before but never on a first date, particularly with a guy you barely know even online. It's not as if these two have been interacting through cyberspace for months or years. Safer first dates with strangers would be somewhere public with a lot of witnesses people around you.
sid3 Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 Hiking does sound a bit creepy for the first meeting with someone from online. A second date it wouldn't seem as bad.
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