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Women have changed considerably in the last 10-20 years. An older man's perspective

spinaroonie

By spinaroonie
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phineas Established Member

phineas

Posted
Posted
This I agree with. Women complain that men don't have the balls to approach women anymore but it is because there is nothing more soul crushing than being humiliated in public for simply breathing the same air as a woman.

 

Yep.

I've seen it before & experienced it.

 

However when it happens you just gotta laugh it off & let the woman know her poor attitude is a major turn-off. Then I consider her written off & doesn't exist to me.

 

But you know what?

I've had some of those same women at a later date come up & talk to me.

ascendotum Established Member

ascendotum

Posted
Posted
Cool. So now I know what IOIs are I can look for them. Seems easy enough so far. I throw a few negs at her then I look for IOIs, then what? Help me!!

Then you can do some Kino Pinging of other girls in front of her.

Radu Established Member

Radu

Posted
Posted (edited)
No, they deserve utter pity. What must have gone so wrong in their lives that they are frozen in time like overweight, overgrown teenagers? Why would they so willingly give away any sense of mature dignity in the desperate hope of assuaging an all consuming loneliness, if just for one night?

 

Where is their life partner, the person who knows them inside out? Where is their family?

 

And as for the OP, any 40+ guy who still refers to chasing "girls" with PUA terms (including girls who are clearly c. 20 years their junior given the Facebook reference) is just equally tragic.

 

How do you know what happened in their lives to do this when they are 40+ ?

Maybe they are losers, maybe their wives cheated on them, maybe they just divorced and they remember they did this when they were younger not realising that they won't be as successfull ?

Have you thought about these ?

 

You can't know what got them to this point in their lives. And even if you know, there is nothing more contemptable than someone having a laugh at someone else's public humiliation.

These ppl are the true animals, bloody pack hyena's.

 

I'm 30yrs old, i don't frequent clubs, and when i see a girl/guy enjoying this public humiliation without an ounce of respect for a fellow human being i know i don't want them as a friend of mine.

Edited by Radu
sid3 Established Member

sid3

Posted
Posted
Then you can do some Kino Pinging of other girls in front of her.

 

They don't allow gambling in bars here, so no kino.

irc333 Established Member

irc333

Posted
Posted

Also, women back in the day, really just let a guy know they aren't interested and not lead them on or try go manipulate a guy into doing things for her in hopes he can win a date from her either.

 

Women were pretty straight forward about their non-interest back in the day.

Radu Established Member

Radu

Posted
Posted
Also, women back in the day, really just let a guy know they aren't interested and not lead them on or try go manipulate a guy into doing things for her in hopes he can win a date from her either.

 

Women were pretty straight forward about their non-interest back in the day.

 

You can tie it to the sexual revolution and feminism tbh. 1st to even the 3rd wave were about equality, not about entitlement.

 

I still don't see why you should let these women dictate your life though.

If they start playing games, just cut them from your life.

  • Like 1
joystickd Established Member

joystickd

Posted
Posted
I think I am sick and tired of hearing guys call women names "digital attention whores" with a causualness while no one says boo to you for doing it and then expecting a serious dicussion on the topic of how women have changed due to technology.

 

Just because I think men have changed too, for the worse, doesn't mean I get to call men names because of it. I think men today are lost in technology as much as women. And while women might be posting pictures of themselves, men are lost in a haze of staring at all the pretty ladies on porn and masturbating themselves into a dull haze where they just turn to porn and stop looking to get to know real women.

There are women that deserve the name digital attention whore. You know the ones that show their a$$ online and when a man mentions sex its like "Why are you asking me for sex? I want a relationship." They deserve that name because they give off wrong message. Dull haze no! Please join all of us in the real world. Really not all men choose porn over meeting a real woman. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/318061-when-will-some-ls-users-finally-join-everyone-else-real-world

Radu Established Member

Radu

Posted
Posted
A man killed his ex in a jealous rage. Are you saying that didn't happen 20 years ago? (OJ Simpson, anyone?! :eek:)

 

A woman killed her 2 young kids because she was loosing custody in the court (her problems started being seen), her husband petitioned the court many times to get the kids because he feared for their safety.

She thought they were better off in heaven so she drowned them in the bathtub, and then jumped out of the 1st story window to 'commit suicide'.

The judge was literally crying about what an unfortunate women she was.

She also made fake (unsubstantiated) police reports about being abused by her husband.

The judge felt sorry that her husband was allowed to make a victim impact statement.

 

This was in a western country and it happened a few yrs ago.

 

Should this put me off having kids and getting married ?

  • Like 2
xxoo Established Member

xxoo

Posted
Posted
Also, women back in the day, really just let a guy know they aren't interested and not lead them on or try go manipulate a guy into doing things for her in hopes he can win a date from her either.

 

Women were pretty straight forward about their non-interest back in the day.

 

You really think so?

 

Looking way back, I had plenty of male friends in hs and college who wanted to date me. I thought I was pretty clear about my lack of romantic interest, but would hear later that so-and-so was still holding out hope.

 

I submit into evidence: Ducky from Pretty in Pink.

wwwjd Established Member

wwwjd

Posted
Posted
A man killed his ex in a jealous rage. Are you saying that didn't happen 20 years ago? (OJ Simpson, anyone?! :eek:)

 

I'm saying, all our new technology IS making things worse*. But it is so cool, we can't see it.

"Just because we can, doesn't mean we should."

 

There has been many relationships destroided as a direct result of the internet. Maybe it is better if we DIDN'T have these options and got back to being more human.

 

 

*As per noted in this topic

Radu Established Member

Radu

Posted
Posted

Post Office still delivers letters, and Shop Around the Corner is still a great movie. :)

dasein Established Member

dasein

Posted
Posted
What's an IOI?

 

It is an abbreviation for "indication of interest," a term that's been around a long time, and not as a PUA term. It's funny to see posters here making unwarranted assumptions about something simply because it has PUA connotations or use. IOI is a very common term in finance and investing, also in sales and marketing generally. It's a perfectly reasonable abbreviation for someone responding to or expressing interest, whether they are a woman in a bar, an investor, a customer or a prospective customer, not some dehumanizing term thought up by PUAs to objectify women.

 

Indication of Interest - IOI: Definition from Answers.com

Mme. Chaucer Established Member

Mme. Chaucer

Posted
Posted

Quote:

Originally Posted by irc333

Women were pretty straight forward about their non-interest back in the day.

 

Not really. "Back in the day," lots of women were taught that it was very impolite and even cruel to let a guy know they were not interested, and plenty of charitable dating went on. Of course, the guys weren't expecting the booty because they took a girl out for a coke, either. Nor was the nice, polite girl trying to get the coke buying guy to pay her car payment, either.

ScreamingTrees Established Member

ScreamingTrees

Posted
Posted
This I agree with. Women complain that men don't have the balls to approach women anymore but it is because there is nothing more soul crushing than being humiliated in public for simply breathing the same air as a woman.

 

Don't get me wrong, I certainly have balls, but I don't need some random woman to bust 'em because I was a tad flirty or overly friendly.

 

If she thinks she's hot ****, that's fine, s'long as the girl is humble in her rejection, I can be gracious and humble in facing the rejection.

 

No one appreciates a total stranger belittling them. I wouldn't stand for it. Which is why I MIGHT be better off not getting into a pointless argument with some bitch who thinks her **** doesn't stink. :laugh: Then again, an argument's looking better and better every day that I go without the company of another. :eek: lol

danny in van Established Member

danny in van

Posted
Posted
No, they deserve utter pity. What must have gone so wrong in their lives that they are frozen in time like overweight, overgrown teenagers? Why would they so willingly give away any sense of mature dignity in the desperate hope of assuaging an all consuming loneliness, if just for one night?

 

Where is their life partner, the person who knows them inside out? Where is their family?

 

And as for the OP, any 40+ guy who still refers to chasing "girls" with PUA terms (including girls who are clearly c. 20 years their junior given the Facebook reference) is just equally tragic.

 

Nice backpeddle- but the tone of your original post has no pity to it- just ridicule...and since you obviously are ageist I think you'll be in for a sad back half of your life unless you're in the lucky 2% (my observation) who's husband / of life partner still lusts after only you afters years being together. You resent older men being attracted to younger girls cuz you know you too will be a victim to that same universal male tendency eventually.

Radu Established Member

Radu

Posted
Posted

It's not her age that will make her a 'victim' of that, it's her hyena like attitude towards her fellow human being.

 

I wonder if that post that started this side discussion was made about 2 grey haired 40+ women with pot bellies how the reactions would have been.

dasein Established Member

dasein

Posted
Posted
No, they deserve utter pity. What must have gone so wrong...

 

Whatever, they are just men pursuing women, hardly the stuff of Greek tragedy and melodramatic hyperbole.

Dusk1983 Established Member

Dusk1983

Posted
Posted
Nice backpeddle- but the tone of your original post has no pity to it- just ridicule...and since you obviously are ageist I think you'll be in for a sad back half of your life unless you're in the lucky 2% (my observation) who's husband / of life partner still lusts after only you afters years being together. You resent older men being attracted to younger girls cuz you know you too will be a victim to that same universal male tendency eventually.

 

I'm a man, danny. Happily settled down I might add.

Radu Established Member

Radu

Posted
Posted

75% probability that it won't be for long, your wife will eventually see how you are underneath as times goes by.

 

I don't wish you end up in that statistic though.

Mme. Chaucer Established Member

Mme. Chaucer

Posted
Posted
Nice backpeddle- but the tone of your original post has no pity to it- just ridicule...and since you obviously are ageist I think you'll be in for a sad back half of your life unless you're in the lucky 2% (my observation) who's husband / of life partner still lusts after only you afters years being together. You resent older men being attracted to younger girls cuz you know you too will be a victim to that same universal male tendency eventually.

 

I'm not an ageist. I am aged, though.

 

I also think it is ridiculous, and sad, for older people to make parodies of themselves in efforts to connect with their missing youth, which includes men dressing up in PUA peacocking outfits to "run game" on young ladies in clubs.

 

When I myself was a young lady in clubs, guys like that (it was pre-PUA, but there were still plenty of the old fellows trying) were a source of much mirth.

 

I don't resent older men being attracted to younger women. I also don't feel like a "victim" of anything.

 

Relationships evolve and if they are good ones, they grow. A person who deeply appreciates what they have in a loving relationship as they grow older is highly capable of realizing that younger people might be beautiful and sexy - more so than their wrinkling spouse - and have zero intention or interest in trading out.

 

A lot of the "trading" occurs not because of the true allure of the young. It's because of the sad desperation of the older person who is trying to cling onto their lost youth - typical mid-life crisis behavior.

 

I'm not jealous of younger women, either. Honestly. I had my time. Everyone has their youth, and as long as they are still alive, everyone will have their time when their youth is behind them.

 

Enjoy the time of your life you are inhabiting NOW.

 

I am more capable of that at my age than I was when young, which is a little sad and why, I think, the saying "youth is wasted on the young" was coined.

  • Like 1
zengirl Established Member

zengirl

Posted
Posted

I don't miss the 90s, but I was a kid. I do love 90s music, but I hang out with a semi-hipster crowd that still listens to 90s music. I hear more 90s music out and about now than I did in the 90s, and they only play the good stuff -- not the crappy 90s music I didn't like. I frequent hipster beer bars where 90s fashion (for the ladies: a more feminine version of it that I can kind of stand, albeit) and music are still very much in. It's basically the people Portlandia was written for. I prefer re-vamped 90s to what I remember of the actual 90s. I really hated that style when I was a kid. 80s fashion too. Towards the end of the 90s when style changed (I was in middle and HS), I was relieved. The grunge look was never for me. At any rate, I mostly follow Japanese fashion now. I am not even sure what 2012 U.S. fashion actually is -- it seems so eclectic and broad. I mean, look at this. What do those trends possibly have in common? I felt like the old styles were more limiting -- maybe it was just being in school, but everyone had to have the same jeans and the same look (I guess this is ironically exactly what hipsters and semi-hipsters kinda do, but not really the semi-hipsters; they generally have a similar look to each other, but I've never felt forced into that look -- my look is kinda 'hipster meets Japan' -- so I don't feel the same way about decade styles). Very frustrating. Never my style.

 

I do get annoyed by SmartPhones sometimes, but it's not a big deal. Most people I know don't stick their noses in them 24/7. Hubby did just get some new, fancy phone and was driving me crazy with it all weekend, but that's uncharacteristic of him and the only person I can remember having his/her nose in a phone when I was trying to talk to him/her in recent days. And I doubt it'll be an ongoing issue.

 

At any rate, common courtesy certainly wasn't much different 10 years ago. 20 years ago I was 7, so I can't say, but I think people were pretty much always people. I imagine 20 years would make a player's game more erratic -- after all, what he looked like 20 years ago and what he was offering was far different. Generally the shelf life on players doesn't last that long.

  • Like 1
TheBigQuestion Established Member

TheBigQuestion

Posted
Posted
I'm not an ageist. I am aged, though.

 

I also think it is ridiculous, and sad, for older people to make parodies of themselves in efforts to connect with their missing youth, which includes men dressing up in PUA peacocking outfits to "run game" on young ladies in clubs.

 

When I myself was a young lady in clubs, guys like that (it was pre-PUA, but there were still plenty of the old fellows trying) were a source of much mirth.

 

I don't resent older men being attracted to younger women. I also don't feel like a "victim" of anything.

 

Relationships evolve and if they are good ones, they grow. A person who deeply appreciates what they have in a loving relationship as they grow older is highly capable of realizing that younger people might be beautiful and sexy - more so than their wrinkling spouse - and have zero intention or interest in trading out.

 

A lot of the "trading" occurs not because of the true allure of the young. It's because of the sad desperation of the older person who is trying to cling onto their lost youth - typical mid-life crisis behavior.

 

I'm not jealous of younger women, either. Honestly. I had my time. Everyone has their youth, and as long as they are still alive, everyone will have their time when their youth is behind them.

 

Enjoy the time of your life you are inhabiting NOW.

 

I am more capable of that at my age than I was when young, which is a little sad and why, I think, the saying "youth is wasted on the young" was coined.

 

As a guy who is still in his mid-20s, I still don't quite understand why it's "sad" to see an older guy trying. If a woman seems attractive no matter her age and the man is available and has the balls to try talking to her, what exactly makes it sad? I think in some cases it can be a "mid-life crisis" type deal. But tell me, if George Clooney starts dating a 25 year old model as a 50 year old man, is he going through a mid-life crisis? No, he's doing what he's always done: dating women that he finds attractive. And you don't need to be George Clooney to do that either.

 

Not only is it not sad, it also can work provided the guy is in good shape and decently good looking. You also discount the reality of women in their 20s being attracted to men in their 40s and chasing after them. It's not extremely common, but it happens. Just look at phineas on this board as proof.

 

Again, I don't doubt that it CAN be rooted in some sort of mid-life crisis, but I still don't understand the blanket hostility directed against older guys who try to go after/end up actually dating significantly younger women. If it works, it works, and I don't get the hostility directed towards it at all. If such hostility isn't motivated by envy of the young, what exactly drives it?

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