Educated Women/Working women = less interest in men/less interest in dating.

[zengirl]

Precisely - it's all about compatibility. It never fails to amuse me how some people feel the need to call certain preferences, as a whole, 'absurd', 'silly', or 'entitled', while other preferences are perfectly fine and reasonable. IMO, if a person absolutely wants to date a professional athlete with a PhD who earns $1m/year and looks like a demigod(dess), good for him/her. Just don't complain if it proves to be difficult to find one.

 

Right. The only time when I criticize what a person wants is when they seem to feel entitled to it even though it's hard to find or feel entitled to it but criticize others for not wanting them (especially for shallow reasons). In any case, it's not the preferences I'm criticizing. It's the entitlement. Being entitled isn't having X preference; it's thinking your preference entitles you to someone who matches it. None of us are entitled to anything in dating, beyond perhaps basic human decency. Even that's a hard sell to some people, I guess.

 

I can't help but feel that all this raging on and on about who's the shallow-est sex and who'll have it worse in their 40s and 50s is in-built resentment based on over-arching generalizations. Stop paying attention that what you don't want and start focusing on what you do want, know what I mean ?

 

Absolutely. That's how I lived my dating life. Plenty of what most people DO want is out there if they want to go look for it.

[soserious1]

It seems to me that this is true.

 

Even if the women try to date, they often fail because they don't really want to give up anything in their career life.

 

They also always feel like competing with men so they don't want to be feminine or anytihing and they always feel like if they start dating that that is going backwards and giving up their power.

 

And many of these career/education women often end up; in their 40's or 50's going to dating sites cause theyspent all .their youth in their careers.

 

Well you're wrong in my case. I spent my youth on getting an education, being married & rearing children. One can manage to do more than one thing at a time after all

 

I use OLD sites to find willing like minded partners for casual dating & sex. OLD sites are useful in that you can quickly filter out a lot of people who's relationship goals aren't compatible. I'm not looking to get married or be in any sort of long term committed relationship, I've been there, done that & I'm not interested in being tied down again.

[soserious1]

As far as "luxury items" go I suspect a lot of the desire for material goods is a function of age rather than gender, particularly when it applies to really big ticket items like houses & cars.

 

I've worked hard all of my adult life so that "someday" I could enjoy some of the finer things life has to offer. Well, I'm over 50 now, "someday" is here. I'll spend my money on experiences that please me. And No, spending my money to support a man really doesn't please me, been there, done that and have no desire to repeat the experience.

[soserious1]

Hmmm. This reminds me of all the 50+ year old men on dating sites that decided at 45 that they'd selfishly lived for themselves their whole lives and now suddenly they want to marry and have kids.

 

Most of their marriages to their younger 30-something year old wives didn't work out, so now the dating sites are peppered with 50-57 year old men who have two or three kids under the age of 10. And they're bitter as hell because most women in their age group want nothing to DO with that type of situation as they're already raised their kids and are now enjoying their freedom and don't want to go back to PTA meetings and soccer games and every other weekend and all the drama that comes with "daddy's little princess."

 

I've seen men do this my whole life, I wasn't aware women did this, too.

 

 

I've met a LOT of men on OLD sites who are in this exact situation! Being interested only in casual dating helps me to weed out a lot of divorced guys who still have responsibility for minor children but I have had more than one situation where I had to tell a guy that I'm not interested in raising another set of kids. Those conversations can get rather ugly.

 

Btw, I'm sure single men have their own horror stories of dealing with divorced women with minor kids

[mesmerized]

ok, I'm coming to the conclusion that a lot of LS men are weirdos or are just really old, truly. Why? I have never ever met a guy in my generation in real who has problem with a woman having education and career. I'm really trying to use my brain for this and I just can't come up with anyone who has said something remotely like this. In fact, my education has always been considered a turn on and something that made men more interested in me. And if anything, I've had men telling me I should make better career moves rather than the opposite. I even feel like my value in the dating market is somewhat related to what I do and what I make. Perhaps it's the kind of people I meet or hang out with or maybe because I'm not really a "career woman" yet, but this has been my experience. I've also never had a guy shying away from me because he has a lower degree, not that I know of anyway.

[Woggle]

ok, I'm coming to the conclusion that a lot of LS men are weirdos or are just really old, truly. Why? I have never ever met a guy in my generation in real who has problem with a woman having education and career. I'm really trying to use my brain for this and I just can't come up with anyone who has said something remotely like this. In fact, my education has always been considered a turn on and something that made men more interested in me. And if anything, I've had men telling me I should make better career moves rather than the opposite. I even feel like my value in the dating market is somewhat related to what I do and what I make. Perhaps it's the kind of people I meet or hang out with or maybe because I'm not really a "career woman" yet, but this has been my experience. I've also never had a guy shying away from me because he has a lower degree, not that I know of anyway.

 

With the exception of a few chauvinists the majority of men 40 and under don't consider education and success to be a bad thing in a woman. The ones who say that usually have an awful personality and use that as an excuse for why they drive away any decent guy.

[prune juice]

With the exception of a few chauvinists the majority of men 40 and under don't consider education and success to be a bad thing in a woman. The ones who say that usually have an awful personality and use that as an excuse for why they drive away any decent guy.

 

what he said

[grkBoy]

i work with doctors and don't understand what the big deal is about them. i can confidently say that the majority of doctors are the most self-centered, arrogant, narcissistic, autistic and sociopathic people i've ever met.

 

I think for those PARTICULAR women, they're in love with his paycheck and the bragging rights they believe they get. There are plenty of those women who even went after degrees and began careers...solely on the hope they meet a "good earner" and thus can quit working.

 

on a side note, i belong in group a).

 

I could tell by your reply. I know not all educated women are "bad" in some way.

 

Brainy chicks are still very hot in my book.

[ScreamingTrees]

Why do you quote my post? Seriously, is what you write here a reaction to my post? It seems to have little to do with it.

I am not rejecting anyone. But I also don't want to be rejected or be on the receiving end of negative/hostile behaviour because of my eduction/profession.

 

Did you read what I said? I was agreeing that it's silly for a man to try to prove himself simply because he finds out that a woman has a degree or is established in her career. I also agreed that a man OR woman shouldn't feel the need to "put someone in their place" because they have some sort of complex about their intelligence - something that can't even accurately be measured for comparison.. It just reeks of insecurity and immaturity.

 

OK, my elaboration might've ventured slightly off topic. (That a degree doesn't really prove anything anyway, and if someone isn't worried about how much $$ you're making, it makes no sense to feel threatened if one is secure..)

 

I mean, someone could work doing something that didn't require as thorough an education and even make less but still be intelligent enough to handle someone who is "educated".. And if they chose to follow their passions, who cares? (This wasn't directed at you, just explaining why I agree with you that someone shouldn't feel threatened and act like an ******* because of their own insecure assumptions about someone else.)

 

Do you really feel my post was unrelated to yours? Maybe you interpreted it differently than I intended for it to be. I also don't believe I talked about you rejecting anyone. (I'd rather not go back and read it) Even if I did, it was an afterthought to the main point, so who cares?

 

For a self-proclaimed "intelligent woman", you sure know how to read and infer.

[Tripod]

I don't think this is true. More career focused women simply tend to date similar minded men. I think, however, career focused women tend to not want a traditional family life. My boyfriend and I are both in medical school and spend a lot of time on school. We both do not want children and are not sure if we want to get married. We do not want a large suburban house and prefer a more minimalist living.

[louise_23]

It seems to me that this is true.

 

Even if the women try to date, they often fail because they don't really want to give up anything in their career life.

 

They also always feel like competing with men so they don't want to be feminine or anytihing and they always feel like if they start dating that that is going backwards and giving up their power.

 

And many of these career/education women often end up; in their 40's or 50's going to dating sites cause theyspent all their youth in their careers.

 

 

i dont think its about giving up. but my career or education wont cheat on me or leave me for someone else. id never put my plans on hold for anyone ever again. im happy enough not dating at the moment and enjoying my life. nothing to do with power, i just dont need the b.s. that comes with men.

[El Brujo]

It seems to me that this is true.

 

Even if the women try to date, they often fail because they don't really want to give up anything in their career life.

 

They also always feel like competing with men so they don't want to be feminine or anytihing and they always feel like if they start dating that that is going backwards and giving up their power.

 

And many of these career/education women often end up; in their 40's or 50's going to dating sites cause theyspent all their youth in their careers.

 

Add to that something Harry Shearer said on his talkshow on KCRW... "people with higher cognitive abilities have been proven to have lower birthrates".

 

In other words, dumber = hornier.