jobaba Posted April 11, 2012 Posted April 11, 2012 (edited) I was reading a thread by a newbie... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/321425-met-girl-i-like-having-all-kinds-anxiety-now-about-next-steps And the question popped in my head... Feelings for another person. You can't stop thinking about them. You dream about them. Imagine being intimate with them and maybe even stare at them while they're with you. You're 'into them'. What causes that? It's like they are just another member of the opposite sex and then ... BAM, they're so special. EVERYONE here has had feelings for another person. Whether you've dated 60 people or have never had a relationship. I have had it for people I have dated, and people I have not. Some people are like me (mostly guys). Some only get it for people they've dated. There's not much similarity between the women I've had feelings for, so it's been a confusing question for me. - Is it just lust? An amplified horniness? Is it brought about by their looks? Or is it a personal connection that is felt (by one party at least)? All of the women I have had feelings for have been attractive (at least to some), but I'm not sure that's it. I only thought one of them was real attractive from the start. - Is it the opening? The possibility that they feel the same way? I've dated a woman who said she thought about me often, but I didn't have those strong feelings about her. So not sure that's it. - Is it the thought that you may have found somebody who is REALLY high on your list? Whether that be looks, education, personality, whatever combination? The thought that somebody who has 'a lot going on' and maybe 'better than you could have hoped to get' might or does like you back? This is a strong possibility. Ideas? I'm trying to get to the root, so I might be able to rationalize and avoid or mitigate these 'feelings' in the future. Edited April 11, 2012 by jobaba
january2011 Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 It could be their scent, the look in their eyes when they talk to you, their touch, their voice, the way they dress, their words, their manner, the way they treat others. It could be any number of things, most likely individual to you and to the person who is in your mind's eye. There is just 'something' about them that resonates with you. If you want to look for patterns, you need to look at your own history. However, while previous performance is useful for predicting the future, it's by no means a foolproof way to avoid or mitigate 'feelings'. Feelings are feelings and we can't help but feel how we feel no matter how much we try to rationalise. When someone touches the very core of you, sometimes you cannot help but follow your heart.
KR10N Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 It could be their scent, the look in their eyes when they talk to you, their touch, their voice, the way they dress, their words, their manner, the way they treat others. It could be any number of things, most likely individual to you and to the person who is in your mind's eye. There is just 'something' about them that resonates with you. If you want to look for patterns, you need to look at your own history. However, while previous performance is useful for predicting the future, it's by no means a foolproof way to avoid or mitigate 'feelings'. Feelings are feelings and we can't help but feel how we feel no matter how much we try to rationalise. When someone touches the very core of you, sometimes you cannot help but follow your heart.Ahh, pheromones... makes them dance w/ June.
joystickd Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 Lately I haven't felt anything but an erection for these women. I'm just not in the mindset for all that feelings and emotions stuff. When I was it was just a certain set of qualities that just reeled me in and that was in conjunction to physical attractiveness
dasein Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 Yeah, they pretty much stomped the "feelings" out of me over the years. Now it's just boners.
spiderowl Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 (edited) I don't know, it's truly mysterious. For some reason, some people just stand out as special - and it's not always the way at first. I've recently started to really notice a guy I've seen about at a social club for over five years! I've barely ever talked to the guy. He's always been at a distance across the room (so it can't be scent). I've admired his abilities as a musician, that's about it. He's always seemed a bit intimidating to me. Something has changed and I think it has for him too as he's making an effort to talk to me. It does feel like an unusual connection at some level. I think there's something to these mystical space/time theories and suddenly key things fall into place and it happens. Hormones seems a very simplistic explanation, especially if there are other prospective candidates around who are physically in some way more attractive. No, it's something about that person's uniqueness and vibes that triggers these feelings. Edited April 12, 2012 by spiderowl
wwwjd Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 It's called "SOULs MATING". For me, it has never been lust that triggers it. I've felt that, I know exactly what that is. But this.... this mysterious thing.... is just beyond scientific comprehenision. And for me, it will stay that way. I enjoy mystery, magic and madness all rolled up into one. There have only been a couple girls in my whole life I looked at and immediately KNEW I could spend forever with them. Didn't even know who they were, but after meeting officially, it was a great feeling. 4th grade, playing tag around the trees with Machelle.... High school, met Courtney from a small town, at a dance I was DJing and EVERYTHING clicked, but it wasn't lust. All the spiritual cogs were in exact sync for the both of us. I suspect we could have gotten married right then and truly lived happily ever after. Don't question magic. Just enjoy it.
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