kimberlyd Posted June 16, 2004 Share Posted June 16, 2004 [font=courier new][/font][color=blue][/color][color=indigo][/color] Help, help, help, help help! Mother of 3 teen girls needs HELP! Hello all... I am new here, as of this moment as I searched for a forum for help for people like me! I need advice, not an article! My daughters are 16-1/2 years (oldest) and twin daughters that are 14 years old. Hence my issue.... My oldest has always struggled a little with being the "single" child...but, she is a gifted, talented beautiful girl. She is a 4.0, plays bball, sings in the choir, volunteers, etc. She is a little high strung, but generally a lovely girl. The twins are fraternal and different as can be...one a little heavier than the other, one a musician the other an athlete, one a brunette, the other a blonde. The twins are mainly straight A students as well, with a couple of B's thrown in for good measure. Now that the twins have finished 8th grade at the Middle School and have moved up to high school activities at church and will be at the same high school with the eldest, the eldest is freaking out! She doesn't want to be at the same activities her sisters are at...she wants to do things "on her own." But, these girls are all beautiful and funny, and they all make friends with the same people...their friends don't seem to have an issue with it. Each girl has her own "best friends" and those aren't shared, which I think is healthy. Anyways, oldest girl is going on a mission trip with church youth...leaving on Sunday (yes, this Sunday.) The twins weren't going because we couldn't afford to send 3 girls at the same time (over $400 per child.) The issue? Today the youth pastor calls and says that 2 people just backed out...can the twins go? I tell him we don't have the money...he tells me it's already paid for...can they go? The twins are excited because all their friends are going....I tell the oldest because I knew she'd be sensitive....sensitive???? I don't know my firstborn anymore!!! She doesn't want them to go...they will hang around with her, embarass her...say stupid things and then people look at her....she will have a terrible time if they go. (which of course means her sisters will have a terrible time too because they are sensitive to how big sis is feeling about things...not to mention oldest might get downright mean if she feels it's warranted.) So, what do I do??? These girls aren't going to be together all day everyday because the policy is that kids from the same church are divided up so they get to know kids from other churches. They will be together only in the evenings, and for the ride (about 8 hours one way.) I tried to reason with oldest...she says she understands my point, but still doesn't want them to go. I tell them it isn't really up to her, but that I wanted to discuss with her.... Help???? Link to post Share on other sites
supermom Posted June 16, 2004 Share Posted June 16, 2004 Maybe it's just some sibling rivalry. Is it possible that maybe if the twins promise not to bother the oldest that she will be okay with it then? Do the twins know they can go now? How do they feel about it? I only have one daughter, and she's only 1 1/2, but I remember fighting with my sister and never wanting her to do the same stuff as me, but now that we're older we've grown up. Maybe this could be a way for the sisters to possibly bond? Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
lnichols Posted July 6, 2004 Share Posted July 6, 2004 What makes your older daughter think that her sisters will wan to hang around her? I guess since the trip is over, you already know how it went. Chances are, they won't want to hang with big sis since they see each other at home. I think you did the right thing by telling your oldest that she doesn't get to choose what her sisters do. When your daughter sees that she isn't always bugged by her sisters, then I think she'll calm down. Let me know how the trip went. I'm interested. My sister is 11 years older than me, so I never got to bug her that much. Although I do remember going swimming with my sis and her friends when they were in high school and I was about 6! Her friends always wanted me around, or maybe that is just my fond memory. Link to post Share on other sites
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