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Facebook is cruel, but Loveshack is a big, comfy security blanket.

fificremefarben

By fificremefarben
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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fificremefarben Established Member

fificremefarben

Posted
Posted

My breakup story: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/304090-my-breakup-story-tell-me-what-you-think

 

 

I was on facebook tonight and facebook "suggested" that I add the woman my ex left me for as a friend (we now have 2 friends in common apparently. The woman is becoming friends with the mutual friends of my ex and I now. Great!). To make matters worse, her profile picture is a picture of them looking really happy together at New Year. I cried my way into 2012 at New Year...

 

Now I'm 8 months out of my 4-year relationship and I am getting better (although he was my first everything and he totally broke my heart when he left me for her and lied about it, eventually telling me in a text message) for sure. However, seeing the picture and the "friend suggestion" definitely gave me a little "pang", and everything came flooding back, including the pain. My first port of call was Love Shack. I relied heavily on Loveshack at the start of the breakup and have slowly weaned myself off ever since as I've gotten better. However, whenever I have a setback, I love that I can come back on here to read some wise words of encouragement and understanding from the people who are going through it/ have recently gone through it all as well.

 

 

I'm really thankful to have found this community. I honestly don't think I could have made it as far as I have without it and without the wise words of everyone on it!

 

xxxx

  • Like 2
HollyBolly Established Member

HollyBolly

Posted
Posted
My breakup story: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/304090-my-breakup-story-tell-me-what-you-think

 

 

I was on facebook tonight and facebook "suggested" that I add the woman my ex left me for as a friend (we now have 2 friends in common apparently. The woman is becoming friends with the mutual friends of my ex and I now. Great!). To make matters worse, her profile picture is a picture of them looking really happy together at New Year. I cried my way into 2012 at New Year...

 

Now I'm 8 months out of my 4-year relationship and I am getting better (although he was my first everything and he totally broke my heart when he left me for her and lied about it, eventually telling me in a text message) for sure. However, seeing the picture and the "friend suggestion" definitely gave me a little "pang", and everything came flooding back, including the pain. My first port of call was Love Shack. I relied heavily on Loveshack at the start of the breakup and have slowly weaned myself off ever since as I've gotten better. However, whenever I have a setback, I love that I can come back on here to read some wise words of encouragement and understanding from the people who are going through it/ have recently gone through it all as well.

 

 

I'm really thankful to have found this community. I honestly don't think I could have made it as far as I have without it and without the wise words of everyone on it!

 

xxxx

 

First of all, unfriend your ex. Then, you have to block him. You can't control what other people do but you can control your own profile on FB. Once you block someone, you are invisible to each other. If mutual friends are involved and you can still see what's happening, please do yourself a favour and stay away or deactivate FB for the time being. FB is EVIL when you're going through a BU.

Alabama277 Member

Alabama277

Posted
Posted
First of all, unfriend your ex. Then, you have to block him. You can't control what other people do but you can control your own profile on FB. Once you block someone, you are invisible to each other. If mutual friends are involved and you can still see what's happening, please do yourself a favour and stay away or deactivate FB for the time being. FB is EVIL when you're going through a BU.

 

I think you misread this post, she saw her ex's girlfriend pop up in the suggested friends facebook like to pop up. She can't control that.

 

I feel like I am in the same boat as you. 4 year relationship down the drain when I was left for another girl about 8 months ago as well. It does hurt when you see this stuff, and facebook really sucked for a while. I unfriended him, but facebook showed me that I should "friend" her as a suggestion. Stupid technology. I clicked on the X by the suggestion and it hasn't came back, thank god.

 

Sorry it all came back. I go through that with some mutual friends on facebook who are still in contact with them. This small setback will fade though, probably sooner than you think.

HollyBolly Established Member

HollyBolly

Posted
Posted
I think you misread this post, she saw her ex's girlfriend pop up in the suggested friends facebook like to pop up. She can't control that.

 

I feel like I am in the same boat as you. 4 year relationship down the drain when I was left for another girl about 8 months ago as well. It does hurt when you see this stuff, and facebook really sucked for a while. I unfriended him, but facebook showed me that I should "friend" her as a suggestion. Stupid technology. I clicked on the X by the suggestion and it hasn't came back, thank god.

 

Sorry it all came back. I go through that with some mutual friends on facebook who are still in contact with them. This small setback will fade though, probably sooner than you think.

 

Well, I was under the impression that as long as you block someone, they are invisible, no matter what. Kind of like they don't exist? I guess I am wrong in assuming that. I would hate to have that happen to me! Thank God my ex and I have minimal mutual friends!

 

Having said that, I still maintain that anyone going through a BU should remove and block their exes. It is VITAL! :(

lilyblue Established Member

lilyblue

Posted
Posted
My breakup story: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/304090-my-breakup-story-tell-me-what-you-think

 

 

I was on facebook tonight and facebook "suggested" that I add the woman my ex left me for as a friend (we now have 2 friends in common apparently. The woman is becoming friends with the mutual friends of my ex and I now. Great!). To make matters worse, her profile picture is a picture of them looking really happy together at New Year. I cried my way into 2012 at New Year...

 

Now I'm 8 months out of my 4-year relationship and I am getting better (although he was my first everything and he totally broke my heart when he left me for her and lied about it, eventually telling me in a text message) for sure. However, seeing the picture and the "friend suggestion" definitely gave me a little "pang", and everything came flooding back, including the pain. My first port of call was Love Shack. I relied heavily on Loveshack at the start of the breakup and have slowly weaned myself off ever since as I've gotten better. However, whenever I have a setback, I love that I can come back on here to read some wise words of encouragement and understanding from the people who are going through it/ have recently gone through it all as well.

 

 

I'm really thankful to have found this community. I honestly don't think I could have made it as far as I have without it and without the wise words of everyone on it!

 

xxxx

 

Same thing is happening to me with my ex's gf/exwife. For some reason it just sucks (even though it's just fb) when they become friends with our mutual friends. I just hate the feeling that she is becoming more and more integrated into his life. Oh fb... I'm sorry you're going through this too.

CopingGal Established Member

CopingGal

Posted
Posted

Yes facebook can be cruel. I am so glad that that stupid old alcoholic my ex cheated on me with doesn't come up on my screen, but she might sooner or later. Facebook wants to get people together. I wish they would stop butting in people's business. If I want someone as a friend, let me find her, don't "force feed" her to me.:mad:

lizardking8610 Member

lizardking8610

Posted
Posted

I feel for you, Social Media can be oh so cruel.

 

My suggestion to cure this ailment and prevent it from reoccurring would be to block this woman from your facebook.

 

She will not be notified of this change and then there will be 0% chance of this being an issue.

 

If you are unsure of how to block someone on Facebook let me know and I will help you out.

 

If you choose not to block her, in my opinion, you're only hurting yourself.

  • Author
fificremefarben Established Member

fificremefarben

Posted
  • Author
Posted

No, he doesn't have a facebook at all anymore. He actually deleted it around the time of the breakup. I'm not sure if that was directly related to the breakup or not.

 

If he did still have one though, I would definitely have blocked him.

lostconfidence Member

lostconfidence

Posted
Posted

ave blocked my ex and we have about 100 mutural friends. i can see she has commented on things form friends but cant see what she writes just the friends saying her name and looking like there talking to themselves. or she likes something but it says nobody likes this but she actauly has.. it makes me laff casue she usualy like things i coment on

g450 Established Member

g450

Posted
Posted (edited)

No rocket science needed here.

 

Simply block her like you would have your XH. Problem solved.

 

More than likely your XH didnt take his page down, he just blocked you. Which is what you should have done to him from day one after the breakup.

 

Everything on facebook is completly controllable by the user. Which is why I wonder why so many postings show up here about X's etc popping up on the BS's fb page. That doesnt have to happen. Just use your privacy settings and for the love of God block block block. It's easy to do.

Edited by g450
loveydove Established Member

loveydove

Posted
Posted

I do love LoveShack and I am so glad I found it too. This story makes me think about celebrity break ups - how can people stand to have pictures of their ex everywhere? It must be so awful.

  • 1 month later...
lady_jadie Member

lady_jadie

Posted
Posted

"This story makes me think about celebrity break ups - how can people stand to have pictures of their ex everywhere? It must be so awful."

 

I always think that too- especially stories like Cheryl Cole- it's friggin' awful just as it is, it makes it ten times worse when you worry about everyone in your social circles finding out and what they're all saying to each other- it must be a million times worse knowing your pain is going to be used to sell papers, magazines, and that millions of people will be using it as idle gossip.They're either bloody strong these celebs, or they have bloody good alternatives!

lovinglife21 Member

lovinglife21

Posted
Posted

Yeah but at least they have their millions to comfort them at night :)

They could always buy a desert island and hibernate there!

 

xx

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