dasein Posted April 8, 2012 Posted April 8, 2012 I frequently disagree with you but this is a pretty good one, actually. I wish there was a similar barometer for men. Probably the same ones or similar would work for weeding out men with no sense of proper scale or proportion.
RedRobin Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 (edited) .................. Edited April 9, 2012 by RedRobin
sid3 Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 .................. Gotta be faster than that! Hahaha, chicken is delicious, if done right;)
waiting4u Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 Yeah, I'm not particularly fond of being "scorned" or whatever but I've never hit a man or broken the law. Like someone else says, my anger tends to get turned inward. I think furious breakups mostly happen between people with huge egos who just can't imagine they would ever be rejected because they are so special and awesome. Unfortunately, not only do I have a huge ego, but I used to gravitate towards cocky, arrogant, creative types, so I've seen some craziness over the years. I've dated a lot but only ever had two serious long-term relationships in my life - mostly because I was married for many years. In the first one (my marriage) I broke it off and he became completely insane and paranoid - drinking heavily, called a man I was dating and threatened to kill him, would come in my house when I wasn't there and go through my stuff, and called me a whore blah blah whenever I tried to talk with him about child visitation, divorce papers, etc. I knew he was hurting and tried to understand and be kind to him as much as I could, but it was a more than a little unsettling, definitely. In the second relationship, my bf messed around with one of my friends and I found out. Even though I was willing to work through it (I completely adored him), he dumped me and then began this rather horrific vendetta to get me fired at work and ruin my reputation. We are in the same business, he knew my boss, and we have a lot of mutual friends and colleagues. The fallout after that breakup was one of the most stressful I've ever gone through. Although his "revenge" was awful, I went pretty nutty not only because I was hurting but also to try and find some sort of closure for the whole thing. He went no contact after the initial breakup and I repeatedly emailed him to try and get him to talk to me. I also did nutty stuff like email his sister (who I had never met) and show up at places where I knew he's be with a hot guy just so he would be jealous. So stupid. The whole thing was a learning experience and in retrospect I'm glad I went through it because I learned a lot about myself, but at the time it was psycho hell. I don't think you can say "all women do this" or "all men do this" - I think women can be more emotional generally and communicate the response to their "scorn" in seriously inappropriate ways, but men tend to follow more action-based methods of revenge. That said, all's fair in love and war until you break the law and assault / stalk someone or destroy their property, etc.. THAT is really screwed up.
serial muse Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 I've never hit anybody. Can't even imagine it. I think the most vindictive thing I've ever done was call the parents of my exH's OW. I knew he was lying to them and that they had no idea he was married. And then I discovered he was staying with them (and with her) while we were going to MC. He wouldn't return my wtf call for several days, during which I got angrier and angrier. I had their number, thanks to D-Day. So I called them. "Hello. May I please speak to [exH]?" "Oh, here's not here right now. Can I take a message for him?" "Yes. Would you please tell him his wife called? Thanks." I still remember the pregnant pause on the other end of the line. "Oh...........OK." Not five minutes later he calls me back and actually has the balls to yell at me for ratting him out: "How am I supposed to go back there now??" I shouldn't have dragged her poor parents into it, I know. But I have to admit it still makes me chuckle to think about the tap-dancing he must have had to do that day. (That was also the day I decided that the marriage was unsalvageable.) 2
phineas Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 My ex shot out my windows when she found out I was getting married again. You win. I've only gotten texts that show potential bunny boiler but no follow through (yet) And I've had Attention whores I eliminated from my life try to sully my good name. Nothing that has really affected me though.
RedRobin Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 Gotta be faster than that! Hahaha, chicken is delicious, if done right;) ha ha... was doing my best to update Herbert Hoover's speech. Somehow, I don't imagine our current Pres making that pitch.
RedRobin Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 I've never hit anybody. Can't even imagine it. I think the most vindictive thing I've ever done was call the parents of my exH's OW. I knew he was lying to them and that they had no idea he was married. And then I discovered he was staying with them (and with her) while we were going to MC. He wouldn't return my wtf call for several days, during which I got angrier and angrier. I had their number, thanks to D-Day. So I called them. "Hello. May I please speak to [exH]?" "Oh, here's not here right now. Can I take a message for him?" "Yes. Would you please tell him his wife called? Thanks." I still remember the pregnant pause on the other end of the line. "Oh...........OK." Not five minutes later he calls me back and actually has the balls to yell at me for ratting him out: "How am I supposed to go back there now??" I shouldn't have dragged her poor parents into it, I know. But I have to admit it still makes me chuckle to think about the tap-dancing he must have had to do that day. (That was also the day I decided that the marriage was unsalvageable.) I wouldn't consider that vindictive, even if it felt that way at the time. Seems like fair warning for them... especially since you were married.
sid3 Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 ha ha... was doing my best to update Herbert Hoover's speech. Yep, the hand on the waist/ back is a good move one of my favorites Didn't want to get the poor guy all worked up by sharing too much all at once.
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