LifesBeachy Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 Anyone ever get into this situation... They seem to say all the right things, love what you love & want the same things out of life. I'm looking for long-term commitment and so is he. And my speaking of eventual babies goes so well, hasn't bothered him and definitely has scared him away. He seemed to enjoy that topic. One of the biggest things I'm looking or in a person is that they must have appreciation. That's in regards to their job, family, friends, eventual lover, possessions, and health. Basically anything that they have that is going well they should not take for granted. And someone that is kind and not selfish. He holds these traits and mentioned the former pretty early on even though he has no idea how much it means to me. Which I'm still shocked over. In my part of the world, not many people appreciate things! Life! etc. So, all things are great.. love his character. Love his personality. We talk off/on all day. Can talk for hours. He never gets old. So what's going to go wrong? Is he a player? I really dont know the format. But maybe this is one of them? How could I find out?---Well, other than in time... I mean this man, feels like he was made RIGHT for me and has fallen into my lap.... nothing feels forced at all. This just doesn't happen. Anyway I can find out his angle? Other than just waiting to see?
veggirl Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 Enjoy but be cautious to start with! Don't get too emotionally invested without a committment! How long have you been dating? Are you official?
FrustratedStandards Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 It doesn't necessarily mean it's too good to be true. Often when you meet someone new everything seems perfect. It's not until you date them for a month or two you realize that you don't actually like them all that much.
sid3 Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 It doesn't necessarily mean it's too good to be true. Often when you meet someone new everything seems perfect. It's not until you date them for a month or two you realize that you don't actually like them all that much. HUNDREDS of times? Really? huh!
travelbug1996 Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 Do you actually spend time together or is it all just talk over the phone? How long have you known him/been together? Have you established exclusivity? How old is he? Have you met each others friends/families? Only time will tell. Talk is cheap so make sure his actions are backing those words up.
TaraMaiden Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 you can always depend some frustrated individual with questionable standards, to try to rain on your parade.... it's called jealousy - take no notice - better still, block 'em. I do.....
Eddie Edirol Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 One of the biggest things I'm looking or in a person is that they must have appreciation. That's in regards to their job, family, friends, eventual lover, possessions, and health. Basically anything that they have that is going well they should not take for granted. And someone that is kind and not selfish. He holds these traits and mentioned the former pretty early on even though he has no idea how much it means to me. Which I'm still shocked over. In my part of the world, not many people appreciate things! Life! etc. Basically any woman who is happy with her life is looking for someone who appreciates their life, so anyone can put on a happy act if they want to appear centered and normal. Its pretty much what most people do in the first few weeks. Dont worry about looking for red flags, they will hit you in the face if they exist soon enough. You just might have won the lotto and actually found.....***GASP*** a normal person! Youre in the honeymoon stage. In the meantime, like Tara said, Shaddup and enjoy! Btw, you should appreciate a good person when you run into him. If you cant control yourself from falling for someone, then you should step back and not talk to him so much.
sid3 Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 you can always depend some frustrated individual with questionable standards, to try to rain on your parade.... it's called jealousy - take no notice - better still, block 'em. I do..... Yeah but you can never depend on being able to edit a post quick enough:lmao::lmao:
mickleb Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 Are you talking about Zach? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/317356-dating-someone-looks-like-ex Cos it sounds like you've just met him. Or just started talking to him, anyway..
Author LifesBeachy Posted March 15, 2012 Author Posted March 15, 2012 Yes, I'm speaking about Zach - I mentioned in the other thread. hehe. We've had a couple of lunch dates together. He mentioned a jacuzzi there and I said I would love to be there and also the pool. He said, I can definitely come when we are dating. Hrum. so HE wants to date me before many things. He compliments me, but no pet names before dating? Isn't that interesting, too? Maybe he is legit. I mean, a scumbag would just swindle me into coming in just to watch me in a bikini, right? I know exactly where he lives/works, so it isnt him lying about his life. I'm just used to soooo many guys doing the old bait-switch routine. Being so great at first then BLAM he's got skeletons in his closet. He wants to take me out for fondue this weekend. I'm sure he'll formally ask me out even though I'm still feeling it out in my mind. Btw, he HAS asked: "what do you think of us becoming exclusive?", And to paraphrase he said he's interested in commitment with the right woman and so far I fit the bill of what he's looking for. He also wanted to know if I'm interested in anyone else. (I'm not). He does also insinuate in other ways about us dating, I guess the only thing that's holding us up is me.. But As I told him, I'd like to get to know him better before a rash decision. I guess all-in-all there is no magic question i have to ask him.. I'll definitely "Shaddup and enjoy", I really do appreciate the person he is. When he formally asks me out, I'm thinking I'll say yes
Professor X Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 We talk off/on all day. Can talk for hours. He never gets old. So what's going to go wrong? Probably you're in the honeymoon phase, cause "never gets old" is such a strong saying for someone you just met 1
FitChick Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 He never gets old. Is his name really Dorian Gray?
Author LifesBeachy Posted March 16, 2012 Author Posted March 16, 2012 We talked on the phone tonight.. I think i know why he's withholding certain things and pushing for commitment so hard. He gets friend-zoned a lot... He's also been emotionally coddling an old high school friend that has been abused. "Friend", I'm not sure. she's a few states away. I asked, should she get professional help rather than talk with you all day, he replied, "I dont know". Looks like I'm back on red alert and treading with caution......
Author LifesBeachy Posted March 16, 2012 Author Posted March 16, 2012 LET THE RECORD SHOW, I WAS RIGHT! Idk, if i should laugh or cry or both........he txted me this morning and said he's going to rekindle things with this girl... HA! SLIMEBAG..... total slimebag, I had the gut feeling... Oh well. Glad That I find this out now and so I can halt with him leading me on. So that is that.
TaraMaiden Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 said the forum's current piece of controversy.... you're so cute when you're riled, you great big Russian hunk, you....! Oh, and just to help your English, it's 'Fantasy' not 'Phantasy'...
TaraMaiden Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 Yes, i tell you, when it comes to good English, i get really offended when people don't even bother to use a spell-checker. but you could never really offend me, my little Russian peanut-gonads!
TaraMaiden Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 I can spell a word however I want, it's a free country. Maybe in my personal sad, inadequate, delusional reality, it is spelled this way, like slang. You spellinazi! Just corrected that for you, my little tractor-luvin' hunky peasant.... !
Ninjainpajamas Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 LET THE RECORD SHOW, I WAS RIGHT! Idk, if i should laugh or cry or both........he txted me this morning and said he's going to rekindle things with this girl... HA! SLIMEBAG..... total slimebag, I had the gut feeling... Oh well. Glad That I find this out now and so I can halt with him leading me on. So that is that. You can feel whatever you need to feel. Learn from this LifesBeachy. You always look behind the scenes to what's going on and pay attention to those little things...because a lot of times those little signs and hunches are not so insignificant. Notice what you picked up but ignored, how your emotions started to create this magnificent picture with a man you just met that said and did all the right things. You wanted to believe and already put more eggs in a basket than you should have, understand your rational sense and emotional state with this experience. Recognize your vulnerabilities, tell yourself that it's ok to feel this way but it's not going to control you and your decisions, that you need to be sure before committing investing more emotions for your own safety, If all is well you'll just have done it for nothing, there is nothing bad about protecting yourself just in case. Understand that it's ok to get along with someone and like them and share a pleasant and butterfly like experience, that's just your emotions and senses working. It just doesn't mean you know his true intentions or who he really is, that takes time and and awareness to spot the blips on the radar. Don't rush it, or scrounge for answers or holes, just be aware and have your eyes wide open and be patient. That bad part Is when you put your head into that cloud and then you blind yourself to everything going on and what he's doing, he could be firing off red flares and you'll just think oh its ok, that's no big deal because he mentioned x and x, even though it's suspicious to you and you'll make excuses to overlook them. When it's right It's going to be right, you won't have to "force" or over-think things so much, you'll just be aware of what's going on around you and comfortable in your own skin and things will just flow in a positive direction and it will be pleasant and just get better and better. You'll have the confidence that you know how this works emotionally but you take it for what it is and not plan out the future just yet, and you're playing the game by your rules, not his. That's what you want to achieve.
TaraMaiden Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 Well as you talk out your ass all the time, be glad that's where i shoved them, my little Borscht-imbiber! 1
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