tornangel Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 Okay I dont even know if this is where I post at. But anyone familiar with custody stuff and all I really would appreciate ANY feedback. I am gonna put my self out here on this one : ( So my 9 year old girl Bellas dad called to come pick her up this morning and he had called her first drunk and yelled at her so much he scared the heck out of her. She was shaking and crying after she got off the phone with her. I called him and he started yelling at me , then said to have his girl at his house or else. So then he shows up at my house and she goes hiding in the room scared of him, I go outside and tell him she is afraid and his wife starts laughing about it. Then he gets out of his truck and walks into my house and gets Bella and as he is walking past me I smell his alcohol on him, and I say I am calling the cops. Now the cops take an hour to get back to me because of other more important calls. Finally after I call the cops 3 times they send one to his house and mine. They questioned my daughter and him, my girl said she was scared but is better now. My ex said he was drunk last nite but not today. So then my ex started sending texts to my phone, which i ignored saying he told the cops i had kids by different guys so the cops would know i was a lowlife. So the cops pretty much said since she seemed okay , I am screwed-- in a sense. My ex and I have split residential with no child support in a county 3 hours away from here. I am seriously thinking about moving to where I work , ( an hour away) and filing there. Or moving and filing at the courthouse that our case is at. I feel that regardless if it isnt filed where it was first then venue would have to be changed since it is in a different county, but same state. He constantly threatens to take her from me if I try to get child support or if I move. he uses the point that I worked in a strip club, 4 yrs ago and so did he. I was a waitress. But he knows this scares me. He was supposed to have her half the time, he has seen her 2 days in the last month. And gets her when he has time, he has never taken her to school in 2 yrs we have been here. So I dont know what to do, I feel revictimized. And hate all this control and manipulating he does to me. I am lost and stressed and confused...... Any advice would be soooooo grateful... and my other childs dad abused me also and he just went back to Afghanistan for 6 mo and he said I couldnt file for custody against him while he is at war, but for the last 5 days before he went back he would not tell me when I was getting our son back. I know I need to talk to a lawyer but damn I am getting sooo overwhelmed ... i FEEL LIKE i KEEP GETTING ABUSED ALWAYS .............. even when I try to stop it. Link to post Share on other sites
CopingGal Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 I am so sorry that you have gone through that. Sounds like you need the support of a good therapist. You need some support to help you. I know you are angry and hurt. You need someone on your side. Also, some law schools have law clinics in which they might help people for low cost or free. If you have money affording a lawyer, check out that, also social services as sometimes there is free law help outside law schools. Maybe they can tell you if there is any free or low cost in the area. Link to post Share on other sites
BewitchedandBothered Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 Okay I dont even know if this is where I post at. But anyone familiar with custody stuff and all I really would appreciate ANY feedback. I am gonna put my self out here on this one : ( So my 9 year old girl Bellas dad called to come pick her up this morning and he had called her first drunk and yelled at her so much he scared the heck out of her. She was shaking and crying after she got off the phone with her. I called him and he started yelling at me , then said to have his girl at his house or else. So then he shows up at my house and she goes hiding in the room scared of him, I go outside and tell him she is afraid and his wife starts laughing about it. Then he gets out of his truck and walks into my house and gets Bella and as he is walking past me I smell his alcohol on him, and I say I am calling the cops. Now the cops take an hour to get back to me because of other more important calls. Finally after I call the cops 3 times they send one to his house and mine. They questioned my daughter and him, my girl said she was scared but is better now. My ex said he was drunk last nite but not today. So then my ex started sending texts to my phone, which i ignored saying he told the cops i had kids by different guys so the cops would know i was a lowlife. So the cops pretty much said since she seemed okay , I am screwed-- in a sense. My ex and I have split residential with no child support in a county 3 hours away from here. I am seriously thinking about moving to where I work , ( an hour away) and filing there. Or moving and filing at the courthouse that our case is at. I feel that regardless if it isnt filed where it was first then venue would have to be changed since it is in a different county, but same state. He constantly threatens to take her from me if I try to get child support or if I move. he uses the point that I worked in a strip club, 4 yrs ago and so did he. I was a waitress. But he knows this scares me. He was supposed to have her half the time, he has seen her 2 days in the last month. And gets her when he has time, he has never taken her to school in 2 yrs we have been here. So I dont know what to do, I feel revictimized. And hate all this control and manipulating he does to me. I am lost and stressed and confused...... Any advice would be soooooo grateful... and my other childs dad abused me also and he just went back to Afghanistan for 6 mo and he said I couldnt file for custody against him while he is at war, but for the last 5 days before he went back he would not tell me when I was getting our son back. I know I need to talk to a lawyer but damn I am getting sooo overwhelmed ... i FEEL LIKE i KEEP GETTING ABUSED ALWAYS .............. even when I try to stop it. Please take him to court for full custody. she is old enough where she herself can tell the judge about this. she is'fine' now? She is petrified and does not want to make waves. Clearly she was not 'fine'. The guy was drunk. Real stand-up kind of guy. She is a smart girl; get to the judge asap. And file police report=he is abusive. HE needs the help. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
westrock Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 he had called her first drunk and yelled at her so much he scared the heck out of her. She was shaking and crying after she got off the phone with her. I called him and he started yelling at me , then said to have his girl at his house or else. So then he shows up at my house and she goes hiding in the room scared of him, I go outside and tell him she is afraid and his wife starts laughing about it. Then he gets out of his truck and walks into my house and gets Bella and as he is walking past me I smell his alcohol on him, and I say I am calling the cops. Keep a written journal of every incident like this that occurs. saying he told the cops i had kids by different guys so the cops would know i was a lowlife. Don't be intimidated by him if he says this because it has nothing to do with your ability to parent. This does not make you a lowlife. Lots of people have children by different partners. He constantly threatens to take her from me if I try to get child support or if I move. Does he not pay child support? His threat is any empty threat. If he tries to act on it, it will backfire and the court will order him to pay child support. Not sure about the moving part, you would have to ask an attorney. he uses the point that I worked in a strip club, 4 yrs ago and so did he. I was a waitress. But he knows this scares me Don't be intimidated that he tries to use this against you because it has no bearing on your ability to parent. He was supposed to have her half the time, he has seen her 2 days in the last month. And gets her when he has time, he has never taken her to school in 2 yrs we have been here. This has a bearing on HIS ability (or inability) to parent. Keep a written journal of these types of occurances. I know I need to talk to a lawyer but damn I am getting sooo overwhelmed An attorney will clarify your rights. Someone also mentioned a therapist, that's a good idea too for you and your daughter too. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author tornangel Posted March 13, 2012 Author Share Posted March 13, 2012 Westrock, Thank u soo much for the awesome advice. and all of u. I am deciding where I am going from here. I appreciate it so much ( the support) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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