Career or girlfriend

[Els]

*yawn*

 

*sips morning jo*

 

Instead of wasting time debating or elaborating on my point of view, Ill just ask you two to re-read post #20

 

It would be a waste of time indeed, yes. I don't see why you felt the need to talk about it being unrealistic for the OP to 'assume he would get such a salary', and then continue to pursue the point that most undergrads do not get paid that much, etc. It's completely irrelevant to the point of the OP - perhaps you could explain how you feel your posts - other than the most recent one, which was a good post - were relevant to his question?

[kaylan]

women come and go, careers don't

He can get into the career he wants though and stay with her. Just for 15k less a year. But this is all assuming he can pick and choose the job he wants.

 

He doesnt have to give up the career he wants to be with her it seems. Just the difference in cash.

[kaylan]

It would be a waste of time indeed, yes. I don't see why you felt the need to talk about it being unrealistic for the OP to 'assume he would get such a salary', and then continue to pursue the point that most undergrads do not get paid that much, etc. It's completely irrelevant to the point of the OP - perhaps you could explain how you feel your posts - other than the most recent one, which was a good post - were relevant to his question?

Im sorry, I was not aware that I could not directly address an issue brought up by another poster in this thread. An issue that is related to the OP's situation.

 

Thanks for reminding me of the posting rules

[xxoo]

Careers come and go, women don't.

 

Women you feel intense chemistry with and are very much compatible with that is. But I'm picky, so that might not apply to every guy.

 

Can't like this enough!

 

But I wonder if the OP would even be asking the question, if this woman were an amazing match for him. If the relationship is just "pretty good", he will be able to find that again.

[Els]

Can't like this enough!

 

But I wonder if the OP would even be asking the question, if this woman were an amazing match for him. If the relationship is just "pretty good", he will be able to find that again.

 

Well, I do think that young men, especially, tend to place a huge priority on the development of their career. And society encourages it. I mean, look at half of the responses he's getting here about the fact that he's young and should focus on his career, and how many people support those. So I don't think that him asking this question is necessarily reflective of how he feels towards the girl.

[alphamale]

Can't like this enough!

 

But I wonder if the OP would even be asking the question, if this woman were an amazing match for him. If the relationship is just "pretty good", he will be able to find that again.

with an extra $20K in his pocket every year he'll find chicks

[kaylan]

^People are unique. Money is not. Hence money is replaceable with an equivalent. People are not.

[xxoo]

Well, I do think that young men, especially, tend to place a huge priority on the development of their career. And society encourages it. I mean, look at half of the responses he's getting here about the fact that he's young and should focus on his career, and how many people support those. So I don't think that him asking this question is necessarily reflective of how he feels towards the girl.

 

True, but reading his last thread on his relationship, it seemed like he has some doubts about the relationship.

[FitChick]

I think what I will do is just apply for everything and if I actually get offered the positions then I'll decide what to do.

 

Why worry about a hypothetical situation? Anything could happen between now and when or IF you get a job offer.

 

I personally think a LDR would be a good test of your commitment to one another. Is it love or convenience you want?

[JohnP82]

Career always

[Woggle]

Choose a career. If there ever comes a day when she falls out of love with you and that day is very likely you will still have a career to pay the bills. Women come and go but if you have good career experience it can pay off for life.

[Pyro]

Sooo today I went to some graduate careers thing. I'm in a bit of a pickle. There are some really awesome, super positions that are right up my alley and would offer me super pay and working conditions (75,000+ p.a at 23 years old). The downside being that it would require me to move interstate permanently. There are similar jobs here too... but they pay around 15 - 20,000 less. Which is a lot of money imo. So of course I'd take the high paying interstate job right away except there's a bit of a dilemma.

 

I love my girlfriend very much. I barely have time to see her with university and studying and so on as it is, and I don't think I could stand a long distance relationship with an indefinite end date to the LD component. Seeing her once or at most twice a month is just sooo depressing to me. She can't move there as she still has at least another few years at university left, and she can't really transfer there. So basically it seems I'm going to have to make a decision. I love her so much and it would just break my heart to see her so rarely, while on the other hand this would be an excellent way to start up my career and set me up for the future.

 

Anyone got any advice? Been through something like this before?

 

that is quite a situation there. I would take the career opportunity only if it means being away from your GF temporarily. A LDR can be done. I myself was in one.

 

Sounds like she is a keeper to you so I wouldn't let her go.

[dispatch3d]

I'd probably go girlfriend+location over just money. If its like girlfriend+location vs money+career then that's a lot harder. Depends how bad the location is in the other one too.

[veggirl]

True, but reading his last thread on his relationship, it seemed like he has some doubts about the relationship.

 

This, exactly. Plus he's like 21. And the girl doesn't want to sleep with him!

[Eclypse]

Wow that's a lot of responses! All of it interesting food for thought. I think I'm leaning toward staying here with her at the moment. This a large city, and I'm sure there will be many options for good work.

 

As a quick aside, these job fairs are run by the university (the top ranked one in the country, if that matters), and the careers I mentioned were offered by the government. I would understand if a private firm had dodgy practices regarding salary, but this is the government. My mum has a govt job and the conditions there are incredible.

 

I should say that I am quite driven. Perhaps it sounds selfish but for me my income would be a large indicator for my success. My family has never had money, and I currently commute 4 hours a day just to travel to this fine university where I spend 8-10 hours a day working on my research thesis. I bought my laptop that I'm writing this on at the supermarket. There are so many nice things out there just waiting to be obtained. This was partly why I raised the issue in the first place. I do not want to be average. But of course, the satisfaction gained from love cannot be measured in dollars and cents (or pounds, shillings and pence). I will probably be happy enough staying here with my lovely girlfriend and climbing the corporate pyramid a little slower.

 

Thanks all for the responses

[Feliciti]

Don't assume a career can't fit together with family life. As people have said hundreds of times in this tread: People are unique.

 

There are no doubt people who would be perfectly find being together with you for the rest of your life, despite you having a heavy career. If you like to work and earn a lot of money, then you can easily find a loving girlfriend or even wife who doesn't mind. Possibly the only issue with a heavy workhours is actually finding someone.

 

Women may be unique, but so are your opportunities. If you don't take them while they are there, you may never get the same option. You may end up with a decent pay, and regret never aiming higher. On the other hand, you may also regret not staying with your girlfriend. Only major issue I see here, is your girlfriend. If she is studying hard as well, she'll probably want a good career as well, and who's to say she won't make the decision to move away if you don't?

 

Of course, it is also possible that staying with your girl will suddenly find you an even better job offer all of a sudden, giving you both of these things. Again, it is also possible that, if you take the job offer, that you'll meet another girl whom you love even more than the current girl you have. You can't foresee such things.

 

I took a split-second decision to work 45 hours a week as a babysitter, while studying no less. That's no longer work - That's my home. I had never even imagined such a thing when I took it. My parents also meet each other through work, after my Father moved from 1 part of the country to another, leaving his whole family and high-school girlfriend behind. Whether he found happiness or not is a whole other question I'd rather not touch on. My own decision is probably the best I am ever going to make in my life, no matter what happens in the future. I didn't have the choice of boyfriend/career though.

[musemaj11]

Dude, you are going to make a lot of money.

 

Even if you dont dump her now, as time goes along and you feel you can afford it, you will want an upgrade eventually anyway.

 

And as someone else already noted it, if you chose her now and passed by the career, you might not find the same opportunity again and one day your gf is going to start her own career and if she ends up being more successful than you, she is likely going to ditch you herself.

 

If you had to choose between money and women, always choose money because if you take the women, you lose the money but if you choose the money, you will get the women also. Savvy?

Edited March 9, 2012 by musemaj11

[FitChick]

I wouldn't put too much faith in any government job for the future since most governments are now collapsing under the weight of golden salaries, pensions and benefits and will eventually go bankrupt and/or make lots of cuts. It's happening all over the world.

[binny]

Speaking from experience, high paying jobs straight out of university almost always have a catch. Usually very long working hours and/or being in an undesirable location. I know so many people who broke up with their partners because of the long working hours which were demanded by their job. I also know people who have quit very well paid jobs because they knew they would not be able to find a husband/wife and get married with the hours they were working and/or the location where they were working.

 

Companies who are offering the kind of salary you are talking about will make you work for every cent they are paying you.

 

I personally would always choose my career, but maybe that's because I just haven't met the right man yet.

[Fondue]

As a 24yo who's making 100k+, take the money.

 

It's ****ing awesome.

 

Being young and the only one making good money in your age bracket, it just rocks. You have no idea how badass it feels. I'm already looking into purchasing a house or at least an apartment. I chose school/work over females and I'm pretty content with it.