Have to start driving to the park as part of my therapy

[Ross MwcFan]

As part of my progress my therapist really wants me to do some sort of activity out doors.

 

It's very hard for me to think of something that I'd enjoy doing and which I'd feel comfortable enough to be able to actually go through with it.

 

He ended up suggesting that I drive to a particular park once a week, and go for a walk through the park.

 

I feel comfortable with walking through it (I think), but I feel very uncomfortable with driving there on my own, and then trying to find some where to park, trying to make sure I don't park in the wrong place, and trying to work out which enterance is okay for me to drive my car through. This is going to send my anxiety through the roof and I'm going to be really paniky.

 

I'm going to have to do this, because there isn't anything else that I can think of that I would feel anymore comfortable with doing.

 

Is it odd, for someone to drive quite far to a park on their own, and to then walk through the park on their own, and then drive back home?

 

It feels like it's a really odd thing to do, the thought of doing it feels so unatural.

 

I feel so stressed, anxious, and depressed about having to do this once a week. I just know something really bad will happen which I wont be able to cope with.

 

I just really wish I didn't have to live anymore, I hate living like this, always stressed, always having to put up with bad things happening to me, and knowing that really bad things are going to happen to me in the near future.

 

I'm planning to go this Friday.

Edited March 6, 2012 by Ross MwcFan

[jaymz]

Is there a park or woods or beach closer that you can walk to? If the driving is going to cause stress?

 

After my break up I started to walk more, exploring my surrounding area to see what was there. Dog owners know loads of hidden away gems. Once you out regulary, a qucik chat with one will give you more locations.

 

I often go for a walk on my own if I feel the need to get out of the house. Its not odd, meet all sorts out n about, esp if its a hidden gem, its like your all part of a secret club :-)

[anne1707]

Oh Ross, you do make me laugh (in a good way )

 

Parks are there for people to walk in and enjoy and not just those who live close by. It is totally, perfectly normal and socially acceptable for you to drive to the park and go for a walk.

 

Most parks will also have the car park signposted. If you go there during the week when it is quieter, you should have no problems finding a space too.

 

Go enjoy !

[donnamaybe]

A park is normally a relaxing place. Keep in mind the reward when you get there. Beautiful atmosphere, calm and relative quiet. A walk in the park is a good thing to do when you want to relax your mind. Maybe some day you can make a nice picnic lunch for two to enjoy there together.

[OpenBook]

Keep the following things in mind:

1. Many other people are already doing the exact same thing - driving to the park, then walking around / enjoying the park, then driving home. You definitely won't be the oddball.
   
2. Yes the first time will be unfamiliar, but after that you'll know what you're doing. Once you figure out where to park your car & get familiar with the park, just do the same thing every time.*
   
3. Luck - GOOD luck - is simply preparation meeting opportunity. Google the park and see if they have a map of the park & where to park your car. Print out the map and take it with you.
   

* This reminds me of a scene in The Bodyguard where Kevin Costner's father (Ralph Waite) was talking about when his son tried out for football, he said he was scared to death of "being hit" - but he kept doing it, over and over, until the fear went away.

 

If Kevin Costner can do it, so can you.

 

Good luck!!

[snug.bunny]

Ross, I totally relate.

 

There was a period several years back, where I couldn't drive on highways and avoided them at all costs. I eventually worked past it, and have been driving on highways with no problem for the past three years. Though, I almost was in an accident the other day, and it didn't bother me when it happened but a few days later when I was driving to work I felt panicky out of no where and had to get over from the left lane to the right lane as soon as I could.

 

I'm hoping it will subside and I don't go back to how I was before. It's a terrible feeling, I feel for you, keep working through it and hopefully one day you will be at a place where it will be like second nature for you. I will keep my fingers crossed for you!!!

[FitChick]

I feel very uncomfortable with driving there on my own, and then trying to find some where to park, trying to make sure I don't park in the wrong place, and trying to work out which enterance is okay for me to drive my car through.

 

Why don't you first drive by it and drive around it, so you can see where you'd be parking and how crowded it is. Even if you have to keep circling the park. Then you could be doubly sure of the entrance and parking restrictions. Or park farther away and walk to the park. You could come back the next day if you are too anxious. If you want to avoid people, don't go at the weekend but go during the week instead when it is less crowded. Perhaps jog around the park for exercise, like many do.

[D-Lish]

Ross,

 

Once you do it, you will feel better. I've told you in the past, conquering your anxiety is all about challenging the fear, rather than letting the fear own you.

 

Everyone walks in the park. I've seen someone walking their cat in the park- I've seen people having sex in the park. There is a guy that walks around the park every morning clapping and yelling loudly in conjunction with each step he takes... I seriously doubt anyone would see you taking an afternoon stroll as strange.

 

Tip: Don't wear a long trenchcoat over bare legs.

[CC12]

trying to find some where to park, trying to make sure I don't park in the wrong place, and trying to work out which enterance is okay for me to drive my car through.

 

Hundreds(?) of people go to the same park every day. You won't be the first or the last to park your car in the wrong place or use the wrong entrance. These things are usually very clearly marked, so just pay attention to your surroundings. Flip your hazard lights on and pull over if you need to take a second to figure it out.

 

I'm going to have to do this, because there isn't anything else that I can think of that I would feel anymore comfortable with doing.

 

Is it odd, for someone to drive quite far to a park on their own, and to then walk through the park on their own, and then drive back home?

 

It feels like it's a really odd thing to do, the thought of doing it feels so unatural.

 

It's not odd at all. The park is there to be enjoyed. Would it make you feel better if you had a specific task to do there? Maybe you could bring a camera to take pictures, or fly a kite, or sit on a bench and draw on a sketchpad, or...are there ducks there? Feed some ducks.

 

I feel so stressed, anxious, and depressed about having to do this once a week. I just know something really bad will happen which I wont be able to cope with.

 

I'm not going to promise you that nothing bad is going to happen, but a park is a very low-stress environment and it would be very out of the ordinary for something bad enough to happen that you won't be able to cope with it. And I will promise you that it will get much easier once you become more comfortable with it. So just grin and bear it through the first visit and continually remind yourself that next time will be easier.

 

Good luck! Let us know how it turns out.

[whichwayisup]

Ahh exposure therapy.. I remember that.. And it isn't odd..This is something your T has asked you to do to help you work through your anxiety and come out a winner when you do what she's asked of you to do. Homework! yeahh.

 

You can do this. Just remember to let the anxiety and panic run it's course. You may feel awful and dizzy, feel breathless and scared but fight it! Show the anxiety that YOU are in control. Ross, the feeling of enpowerment and being strong like a weight was lifted off the shoulders is amazing!

 

Talk aloud in the car. Tell yourself you're going to be fine.. Put on some music, sing to it and have fun..

 

Do you have a camera? If so, bring it and take some pictures of nature. Birds, trees, bugs..Snow if there is any where you live. Do deep breathing and keep telling yourself everything is going to be okay.

 

Also, bring a journal! Sit down after your walk and write out how you feel. Compare the steps along the way, the car ride, parking the car, etc..

[D-Lish]

Do you have a friend with a dog? You could offer to take it our for a walk.

[carhill]

OP, when you take on such challenges, how do you feel afterwards; after what was to happen has happened?

 

To you, what's the difference in how you feel between stepping out your door and walking to the corner and driving across town and walking in a park? Is there any difference?

[Eddie Edirol]

Just DO it. Stop finding reasons to make yourself anxious.

[denise_xo]

Good luck, Ross there's lots of good advice in this thread. And it's totally normal to drive to the park for a walk.

[Ross MwcFan]

Oh Ross, you do make me laugh (in a good way )

 

Parks are there for people to walk in and enjoy and not just those who live close by. It is totally, perfectly normal and socially acceptable for you to drive to the park and go for a walk.

 

Most parks will also have the car park signposted. If you go there during the week when it is quieter, you should have no problems finding a space too.

 

Go enjoy !

 

I know, it's just that I aways assume that whenever people drive to a park, and then walk through it, they're always with other people.

[denise_xo]

I know, it's just that I aways assume that whenever people drive to a park, and then walk through it, they're always with other people.

 

No, that's not true IME. Lots of people go on their own. I've gone by myself tons of times.

[Ross MwcFan]

Just to clarify, I don't really think that I'd look odd walking through there on my own, I'm sure a lot of people who live close to the park do this.

 

What feels odd, is driving to a park that's very far away, to just walk around it on my own, and then to drive all the way back home. I don't know why.

[Ross MwcFan]

Ross, I totally relate.

 

There was a period several years back, where I couldn't drive on highways and avoided them at all costs. I eventually worked past it, and have been driving on highways with no problem for the past three years. Though, I almost was in an accident the other day, and it didn't bother me when it happened but a few days later when I was driving to work I felt panicky out of no where and had to get over from the left lane to the right lane as soon as I could.

 

I'm hoping it will subside and I don't go back to how I was before. It's a terrible feeling, I feel for you, keep working through it and hopefully one day you will be at a place where it will be like second nature for you. I will keep my fingers crossed for you!!!

 

What really bothers me about driving to the park (apart from it feeling unatural, and worrying about which enterance I should go in and where I should park), is that on the main road there, which is like a twisty 60 mph road, is that sometimes there can be cyclists on it. I'm always so uncomfortable with over taking them because I don't have much confidence for it and my judgement isn't good enough.

 

Yet there's so much pressure for me to overtake them, otherwise I'm going to be going at about 10 mph behind them, holding up a big queue of traffic behind me, with them gettingpissed off at me and beeping at me.

 

So a lot of times I've had to overtake them even when I don't feel comfortable enough to do so, and I've had a few close calls.

[whichwayisup]

Just to clarify, I don't really think that I'd look odd walking through there on my own, I'm sure a lot of people who live close to the park do this.

 

What feels odd, is driving to a park that's very far away, to just walk around it on my own, and then to drive all the way back home. I don't know why.

 

As I said in my reply to you lastnight - This is your homework. Aka - Exposure therapy to get you out there, driving and feeling comfortable and then going for a walk somewhere out of your comfort zone. Don't question it so much.

[Ross MwcFan]

As I said in my reply to you lastnight - This is your homework. Aka - Exposure therapy to get you out there, driving and feeling comfortable and then going for a walk somewhere out of your comfort zone. Don't question it so much.

 

Yeah, I guess since I will be doing it as exposure therapy, then that will normalise it a lot more.

[denise_xo]

What really bothers me about driving to the park (apart from it feeling unatural, and worrying about which enterance I should go in and where I should park), is that on the main road there, which is like a twisty 60 mph road, is that sometimes there can be cyclists on it. I'm always so uncomfortable with over taking them because I don't have much confidence for it and my judgement isn't good enough.

 

Yet there's so much pressure for me to overtake them, otherwise I'm going to be going at about 10 mph behind them, holding up a big queue of traffic behind me, with them gettingpissed off at me and beeping at me.

 

So a lot of times I've had to overtake them even when I don't feel comfortable enough to do so, and I've had a few close calls.

 

As others have said, make sure you go at a time of day/week when there is likely to be very little traffic. At least then there will be less bikers and cars to navigate.

[cerridwen]

 

What feels odd, is driving to a park that's very far away, to just walk around it on my own, and then to drive all the way back home. I don't know why.

 

I don't know why that feels odd either.

 

There are a ton of parks close to my home, yet I'll routinely drive to others at a distance.

Different parks have different features, levels of privacy, foliage, paths and walkways that make the experience unique.

It's not odd to seek out specific parks and drive to them.

 

Have fun.

[Mme. Chaucer]

All your fears and anxieties will be with you for a while, but you have to "just do it" anyway. You feel weird about driving to a distant park, choosing a parking place, getting out of the car and taking a walk. I assure you that it's NOT really a weird thing to do, but that's how you feel.

 

Do it anyway!

 

Keep doing it.

 

You'll see. You will get more and more comfortable. But you have to just go ahead and put one foot in front of the other and take the action, despite all of your feelings.

[whichwayisup]

Yeah, I guess since I will be doing it as exposure therapy, then that will normalise it a lot more.

 

During the worst of my anxiety and panic attacks, there were times I would get in the car to go somewhere, feel awful and dizzy, have an attack, turn around and come home..I continued to do that and 'learned' that behaviour to throw in the towel, give up and let the anxiety take over. When I started CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy) the first thing my therapist made me do is just to drive around and if I felt anxious, to pull over and calm myself down, then continue driving again. Over time things got better - I learned how to control the anxiety, fight it and not be scared of it. Within a few weeks I was able to go out more and more, drive further and along the way gained confidence. Ross, I promise you, if you work hard (my motto, what you put into therapy is what you get out of it) on things, your life will become easier.

[snug.bunny]

What really bothers me about driving to the park (apart from it feeling unatural, and worrying about which enterance I should go in and where I should park), is that on the main road there, which is like a twisty 60 mph road, is that sometimes there can be cyclists on it. I'm always so uncomfortable with over taking them because I don't have much confidence for it and my judgement isn't good enough.

 

Yet there's so much pressure for me to overtake them, otherwise I'm going to be going at about 10 mph behind them, holding up a big queue of traffic behind me, with them gettingpissed off at me and beeping at me.

 

So a lot of times I've had to overtake them even when I don't feel comfortable enough to do so, and I've had a few close calls.

 

It's a phobia, it's irrational and sometimes there is no rhyme or reason to it. My 'phobia' was (and still is, from time to time but very seldom now) tractor trailers, too many vehicles on either sides of me, and feeling "closed/boxed in".

 

There is a book called "Mind Over Mood" with quizzes and worksheets that help to "associate" and "disengage" irrational thoughts. I found it very helpful. You have to think of your mind as a muscle, and exercise it and release tension, just like any other part of your body.

 

The most important thing, is not to beat yourself up over it. If you get nervous or panicky, practice riding the wave out, absorb it and then back to calm. Easier said then done for people who have phobias but it is what it is. That doesn't mean you cannot overcome it, and it may not ever be 100% permanent if you do. Take it one step at a time and if you feel nervous, pull over and try again or simply turn back around, and take it on/try again another day.