whichwayisup Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 Thanks Mercy! I think that's what I'll do. I really want him to stay there and not come back to work here with more lies. You have no control over his life, over whether or not he continues to lie. 2 months in, do you believe you have a lot of influence on him that he'll just stop lying because you want him to? How closely do you two work together? You are aware by telling her the truth, this is going to make your work situation quite uncomfortable if you do work side by side with hm. Link to post Share on other sites
frozensprouts Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 OP, i may be reiterating what has been said, but lots of married people live apart for months at a time, nit because they want to but because it is the best option available for them at the time. in my own situation, my husband is military and will very likely be posted this spring to a base that's over 1000km away. We are talking about whether the kids and I will go with him or if we will wait for him to get things set up there first, which may take up to a year ( because of the health conditions of two of our kids, we can't just pick up and go without a support system already in place in our new home) Does this mean we don't love each other or want to be together? Of course not. But we may not have a choice. You have only known this guy a few months at the most. How do you really know if any of what he has been telling you is the truth? Is it worth the risk to your emotional health to take that gamble when there is such a high likelihood that you are being lied to? His wife does need to know what is going on, but you need to prepare yourself for the aftermath. If things between them are as bad as you say, maybe he will end his marriage once his wife finds out. But the very fact that you feel he won't come running back to you should his wife find out makes it sound like, on some level, you know he's not telling the truth. Link to post Share on other sites
Lostinlife4now Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 BELIEVE him. He's not going to divorce her ever. Those are lines straight out of the Married Man's Handbook. If he told you that he was crazy about his wife and had awesome "reunion" sex every time he went home, you probably wouldn't want to have sex with him. Big deal. He can and will say anything to keep the sex coming. Talk is cheap. Do I cut it off now so it won't hurt so bad later or do I give this a shot?/QUOTE] You have no shot. Hi Otherwoman2012............ Please listen to Alice....she is right on the money with what she has posted. He WILL NEVER LEAVE!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
mercy Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 Thanks Mercy! I think that's what I'll do. I really want him to stay there and not come back to work here with more lies. And I wanna be a supermodel! lol One thing I do know is you're doing the right thing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TurningTables Posted March 5, 2012 Share Posted March 5, 2012 I don't buy that for a minute. These kinds of statements are always interesting to me here on LS. When a OW comes here to vent or tell her story, alot of members here advocate her to tell the BS. However, sometimes, I see posters accuse the OW of telling the BS for the wrong reasons. It may be that the OW in these situations do have the wrong reasons for telling but think of this: How can it NOT be good for the BS to know that her H ( or W in a husband's case) is cheating? Its a win-win situation for the BS. If they believe the OW's story, then they can start to deal with the aftermath and take control of their life. If they dont believe the OW's story, at least it will put things on their radar to be aware should anything come to light about the A. Anywho, its just my opinion. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Anna-Belle Posted March 5, 2012 Share Posted March 5, 2012 do you not know how to tell him to leave you alone, that you don't sleep with married men? do you not know you have a choice here? exercise your voice and say no. That's what I'm wondering too. Why involve the wife? Link to post Share on other sites
itsourchoice Posted March 5, 2012 Share Posted March 5, 2012 I am going through an affair as well, but I am not unhappy about it... so I may not be of any help. If you want to chat, feel free. Link to post Share on other sites
itsourchoice Posted March 5, 2012 Share Posted March 5, 2012 It has been good for me to read these other posts. I felt I was being fed to the wolves when I told my story. I guess it was just me being a cry baby. I see you guys say the same things to others and nobody freaks out. Being in the middle of an affair is hard, no matter how you look at it. I am not unhappy with my situation, but I will say one thing I have learned... mm all say the same things to the mistress in one form or another. Link to post Share on other sites
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