Untouchable_Fire Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 What????? Where did you get that it was "important for her to one up him"??? The OP is obsessing about her past, before they were together - it couldn't have been important for her to "one-up" him, because he wasn't even in her life then... Maybe I missed something - can you point out in the OP's posts where you got this impression? All true. Yet... she did one up him... actually probably more than one. Besides he is talking about having a level playing field. Nothing wrong with that. I would suggest that he moves the relationship parameters to FWB and begins dating on the side. Simple solution. Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted March 22, 2012 Share Posted March 22, 2012 (edited) All true. Yet... she did one up him... actually probably more than one. Now you're squirming away from the real meaning of your comment. To "one-up" someone is used in the context of a competition where the participants are aware of each other. This wasn't the case with her - she was just living her life before she knew the OP. Your comments that I was responding to were based on the unsupportable idea that she was doing something to him - the essence of your comment was that it was important for her to one up him, and that therefore she deserved to have the tables turned on her. You can try to semantically wiggle away from these, but that's the comment that I was responding to. The OP is agonizing over her past, before he was even on the scene. There was no competition, no one-upping, there are no tactical tables to be turned. I would suggest that he moves the relationship parameters to FWB and begins dating on the side. Simple solution. Man - do you really, seriously think - even if he could set that arrangement up - that it would simplify things for the OP? Wow... Besides he is talking about having a level playing field. Nothing wrong with that. You are talking about creating a numerically level playing field. I'm willing to bet that in this OP's case, this would not create an emotionally level playing field. I have no argument with the general idea of someone wanting to have more experiences before settling down to marriage. But based on his statement that her past is something he would expect her to feel guilty and ashamed about, and what this seems to reveal about his feelings about sex in general, I don't think for this OP, in the context of this relationship heading towards marriage, that it's going to be just as simple for him as evening up the numbers. Edited March 22, 2012 by Trimmer Link to post Share on other sites
CC12 Posted March 22, 2012 Share Posted March 22, 2012 Why not? If it was important for her to one up him... why should she complain if the tables were turned? Perhaps if she isn't insecure she can handle him getting up to the same experience level. In fact it will probably make him a more confident and better lover... she should be excited to have him engage in this! Honest question: Would you be okay with your girlfriend wanting to sleep with other people to get up to the same experience level as you? Would you be excited for her to engage in this? Link to post Share on other sites
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